Tag Archives: mortgages

  banksters

Jamie Dimon Gets Well-Deserved Raise

A year after an embarrassing trading blowup led to millions of dollars being docked from Jamie Dimon’s paycheck, the chairman and chief executive ofJPMorgan Chase is getting a raise. Of course he is, because share prices have increased and this is the only thing that really matters. Did JP Morgan, under Jamie Dimon’s watch, preside over a global financial crisis, enable Bernie Madoff to conduct a years-long pyramid scheme, and rack up billions of dollars in fines due to a multi-billion dollar trading fiasco executed by the so-called “London Whale,” along with earning what may be the largest fine in the history of American financial regulation? Did it also engage in reckless manipulation of energy prices and silver prices, launder money for drug cartels, and break securities laws in mortgage deals? Yes, it definitely did many of these things and probably did most of them, but this just means that Jamie Dimon was able to see the bank through “a difficult period” and thus deserves a raise: Read more on Jamie Dimon Gets Well-Deserved Raise…
  dicks

Baby Pesticide, Army Rape, Wife Rape And Slavery: Meet VA Congressional Candidate Dick Black!

Have you met Dick Black? He is a state Senator in Virginia, and he is running for Congress in Loudon County, and he calls emergency birth control “baby pesticide,” which, we are pretty mad we didn’t think of that first, because “baby pesticide” is awesome. He has a few other awesome thoughts floating around that big old giant manbrain of his, great thoughts about slavery, and gays, and spousal rape and army rape. All the rape, really, plus Abraham Lincoln, but we repeat ourselves. Mother Jones has the splainer, and we won’t steal too too much of it, just enough to give you an idea of what kind of greatness Virginia could elect to represent it in the US America House of Representatives: Read more on Baby Pesticide, Army Rape, Wife Rape And Slavery: Meet VA Congressional Candidate Dick Black!…
  the torch & pitchfork outlet has been foreclosed too

Bank of America Whistleblowers Reveal Shocking Bank Wrongdoings, Surprise Surprise

Did you spend the past couple days so suspicious of the NSA that you had forgotten to set aside just a little bit of your suspicion for the banks? Don’t worry, we can fix that pretty quickly! Turns out Bank of America may have been foreclosing on homeowners who qualified for in-house loan modifications and the government-sponsored Home Affordable Modification Program because — get this! — it was more profitable to put the homeowners out on the street: Six former Bank of America Corp employees have alleged that the bank deliberately denied eligible home owners loan modifications and lied to them about the status of their mortgage payments and documents. The bank allegedly used these tactics to shepherd homeowners into foreclosure, as well as in-house loan modifications. Both yielded the bank more profits than the government-sponsored Home Affordable Modification Program, according to documents recently filed as part of a lawsuit in Massachusetts federal court. Read more on Bank of America Whistleblowers Reveal Shocking Bank Wrongdoings, Surprise Surprise…
  banksters

Banks Might Like White Men Just as Much as the GOP Does

Are you STILL capable of being surprised by structural inequality, including but not limited to women and minorities’ inability to take advantage of various financial opportunities? Eh, us neither, we are used to it by now, but just in case we accidentally become inoculated, let us learn about the current instantiation of redlining in Chicago. Read more on Banks Might Like White Men Just as Much as the GOP Does…
  banksters

In Shocking Move, Banks Pocket Cash Meant For Homeowners

In a move that your Wonkette finds SHOCKING, just SHOCKING, major banks have decided not to lower home loan interest rates for customers, even though the federal funds rate is hovering at around zero and banks are making a killing on mortgages. JPMorgan Chase and Wells Fargo, the nation’s largest mortgage lenders, said Friday they won’t make home loans much cheaper for consumers, even as they reported booming profits from that business. Those bottom lines have been padded by federal initiatives to stimulate the economy. The Federal Reserve is spending $40 billion a month to reduce mortgage rates to encourage Americans to buy homes. Instead, its policies may be generating more benefits for banks than borrowers. WHAT A SURPRISE that QE3 and similar policies just benefit the banks at the expense of homeowners and Poors, as predicted by such venerable institutions as the Bank of England, the Bank of Japan, and Wonkette. Read more on In Shocking Move, Banks Pocket Cash Meant For Homeowners…
  we haz a confused

NYT’s Mitt Romney Beat-Sweetener Story Curiously Skimpy On Heart-Warmth

Wonkers are all media elites and State Department retirees, so we don’t need to explain to you that a “beat sweetener” is a puff piece about a person, place, or thing meant to guarantee further access down the line. And that seems to be the purpose of this New York Times piece on Mitt Romney selling a house to a couple of Olds. The gauzily written piece, though, seems to promise a lot more heart-warming generosity than actually surfaces. It’s confusing, really, unless the purpose of the piece is to (again) show that Mitt Romney is actually sort of a horrible businessman. Read more on NYT’s Mitt Romney Beat-Sweetener Story Curiously Skimpy On Heart-Warmth…
  two-stepping with newt

Gingrich’s Latest Target: Elitist Apartment-Dwelling Subway Riders

In a speech at a rally for the National Association of Home Builders last Thursday, posing in front of an unbuilt home that no one will ever buy because no one can get a mortgage, alleged fiscal conservative Newt Gingrich argued on behalf of home ownership and government support of it, and in the process ridiculed people who ride the subway, of which there are apparently some in this country. Gingrich determined that people who ride the subway also don’t own homes, and lazily take public transportation that, well, their tax dollars help pay for from their “high-rise apartments” to their jobs at “fancy newspapers in the middle of town.” These elitist assholes don’t see the value of owning their own home (or owning their own job?), Gingrich surmised. Maybe they should just…like…move to Paris! Where there is more subway than there is Subway, and where being a snob doesn’t get you verbally excommunicated by a windbag with too much time on his hands. Read more on Gingrich’s Latest Target: Elitist Apartment-Dwelling Subway Riders…
  our flourishing economy

IT’S LIKE A RECOVERY, BUT WITH NO EQUITY, SAVINGS, CONSUMER SPENDING, JOBS, RETIREMENT ACCOUNTS, INNOVATION, STRONG CURRENCY, AFFORDABLE HEALTH CARE, BASIC SHELTER, OR LONG-TERM PROSPECTS FOR A COMPETITIVE MODERN ECONOMY: “The housing market continues to threaten signs of an economic recovery, with new data released on Thursday showing an all-time high of Americans falling behind on loan payments and the rate of home foreclosures unlikely to peak until late in 2010.” But the stock markets are up! Everyone in America owns bundles of good stocks, right? Right?? [The Hill] Read more on …
  annals of real estate disaster

NATION OF UNDERWATER HOMEOWNERS: According to some estimates, about 20 percent of people with mortgages owe more on their homes than what they’re actually worth. Your mileage may vary depending on whether there are a lot of foreclosures in your area, because fire-sale pricing will naturally depress surrounding home values even more than just a gradual dropoff in the sales price of non-foreclosed homes. Also, owing 105% of your house’s value is a hell of a lot better than owing, say, 200%, but both count as “underwater.” The bottom line is this: if you own real estate of any sort, you are DOOMED, forever, to an eternity of anal invasion by Mortgage Demons bearing poison-tipped pitchforks. [Wall Street Journal] Read more on …
  shacks of doom

New, Predictably Grim Housing Data

Remember back in the early days of the Iraq War when President Bush repeated dumbly, month after month, “We’re turning a corner,” and things just got worse? That’s basically the situation in our domestic housing market: a relentless onslaught of bad news, brief hope that things could not possibly get any worse, followed by unspeakably awful news. Read more on New, Predictably Grim Housing Data…
  palin-santelli 2012 watch

Robert Gibbs Eviscerates That Working-Class Hero, The CNBC Derivatives Trader Guy

White House press secretary Robert Gibbs has had the tendency, early on, to embarrass himself during press conferences by turning snippy as a defense. But this comment about Kathryn Jean Lopez’s pretend boyfriend and preferred vice presidential candidate, Rick Santelli — a rich ex-financial rich guy who now (rather brilliantly, we admit) manages to win over unemployed, poor white people with rants on the Wall Street tips ‘n’ cheats teevee channel about how he and his money friends who ruined the economy WILL NOT ALLOW $75 billion in government money to go towards resuscitating millions of salvageable mortgages that are currently impossible to price and spreading death everywhere — is somewhat perfect. Wry, mocking, and even somewhat informative! [Huffington Post] Read more on Robert Gibbs Eviscerates That Working-Class Hero, The CNBC Derivatives Trader Guy…
  dinguses

Are There Really People Who Watch CNBC All Day?

Here’s one of the more unlikable people we’ve heard of for the first time today, CNBC’s Rick Santelli, at some trading floor in Chicago, going *apeshit* over Barack Obama’s $75 billion mortgage plan to keep “the losers” in their homes. Maybe Obama’s plan isn’t so great, who knows, but one thing is clear, and that’s that Rick Santelli hates poor people — and by poor people we mean the bottom 50-90% of per capita income earners. How else would you explain the fact that he and his trader friends are *just now* starting to worry about Moral Hazard? [Calculated Risk] Read more on Are There Really People Who Watch CNBC All Day?…
  ur doing it rong

NEWS FLASH: Loan Modifications Work Best When They Actually Lower Monthly Payments

Criminy! We have been hearing a lot about mortgages that go into default or foreclosure, and how the people holding these mortgages should talk with their lenders about renegotiating their loans. As a normal person with more than two (2) neurons flickering on and off in your brain, you probably assume that the goal here is to make the loans more affordable, which is to say, LOWER IN COST. Apparently banks sometimes disagree. Read more on NEWS FLASH: Loan Modifications Work Best When They Actually Lower Monthly Payments…
  citizen justice

Plebes Storm Castles Of Mortgage Fat Cats

Oh hey it’s that mob rule and class warfare we’ve been told so much about! A SEETHING MOB of, uh, peaceful protesters who were not arrested by police visited the homes of two “financial predators” over the weekend. Financial predators are like sexual predators, only without the sex perversions. Instead, they like to lure youngsters into the backs of windowless white vans and force them to sign zero-percent down no-interest ARMs with a $400,000 balloon payment after five years. Read more on Plebes Storm Castles Of Mortgage Fat Cats…
  judgment day

A Children’s Treasury Of Evil Wall Street Failures’ Photos From This Good NYT Series About The Financial Crisis

After the economy and capitalism completely died in September because one freaking company called “Lehman Bros.” was denied billions of dollars from the Federal Government, the liberal New York Times has been running a weekly-ish series called “The Reckoning” about the various Wall Street jackals — i-bankers, hedge fund managers, risk-rating companies — who pooled their talents together to somehow, magically, destroy the entire world with a mere HOUSING PROBLEM. All of the articles in this series are well reported and subtly vilifying. The best part about reading them, though, comes as you scroll down to the fifth or sixth paragraph and see an accompanying picture of some douchebag you’ve never heard of with a caption describing how this person ruined your life. We’ve compiled screenshots of these instances from many stories in “The Reckoning” series and blown them up, to heighten the embarrassment. Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Evil Wall Street Failures’ Photos From This Good NYT Series About The Financial Crisis…
  our greatest leaders

Bernanke Decides That Entire Economy Is Worth Saving

Money-printing liquidity trapper Ben Bernanke has been a Local Loser in recent months after rapidly cutting the federal funds rate to negative 1,000% to no effect whatsoever, except national embarrassment. He’s had to print Master Paulson’s money, alone, every night, as punishment. He is not allowed to shave. But as Paulson and his flack Neel “Chump” Kashkari refuse to do anything right, Bernanke’s had enough and he’s just going to sing it from the rooftops of America! Today, in a big speech, he declared that the “government must step up efforts to prevent home foreclosures, with options including buying delinquent mortgages and providing bigger incentives for refinancing loans.” Meanwhile, back in their lair, Paulson and Kashkari are discussing what evil they must next bring to the global economy. Read more on Bernanke Decides That Entire Economy Is Worth Saving…
  hooray!

A Festivus Miracle: No Fannie/Freddie Foreclosures! (Until January 9)

So, uh, the economy doesn’t seem to be doing much, uh, better. The S&P 500 is back down to 1997 levels. 1997! Everybody’s losing their jobs, if they still have jobs. Some are suggesting it will not even be a Merry Christmas, and that the real (Muslim) Jesus is sort of getting a kick out of all this. But do not worry, because some of you will evade foreclosure until January 9. Christmas is back! Read more on A Festivus Miracle: No Fannie/Freddie Foreclosures! (Until January 9)…
  great money bonfire of 2008

Hank Paulson Gives Up Buying Toxic Assets, Will Now Give Money To, Who Knows, Rats?

Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson announced a major shift today in the Troubled Asset Release Program (TARP!) — or, as the kids call it, “n00bama bailout $ocialism” — and we do not necessarily know to what the shift is. We know from what Hanky is shifting away, though, and that is the plan to buy toxic mortgage-related assets from financial institutions so as to loosen credit and save America. You may recall this instrument Hank is now abandoning: it was the whole point of the bailout, the thing Hank and his chum Ben Bernanke DEMANDED Congress pass within 20 minutes or the child would die. Read more on Hank Paulson Gives Up Buying Toxic Assets, Will Now Give Money To, Who Knows, Rats?…
  town hell

Black Town Hall Questioner Tears Apart McCain In Facebook Message

You may recall the second question from Tuesday night’s town hall debate from a young black fellow named Oliver Clark. Clark asked the candidates what the bailout package does for the Average American. McCain responded by attacking Obama for not regulating Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac — it was his ONE JOB AND HE BLEW IT — and in the process said to Clark, “You probably never heard of Fannie Mae or Freddie Mac before this.” Because how would anyone have known about these two mortgage giants that back 70% of the country’s mortgages? Well, it was condescending anyway, and Clark has posted a hilarious message on his Facebook saying that he has like 500 college degrees and calling Walnuts a horrible racist. Read more on Black Town Hall Questioner Tears Apart McCain In Facebook Message…
  elitist money-losers

World Astonished That Stock Index Falls During Historic Financial Crisis

Well here is your updated Dow Jones thing, about which every “person on the Internet” today has been freaking. It went down like 350 points after a far greater initial plunge. This has baffled many, many people today, that this stock index fell triple-digits on a day when every remaining bank on Earth basically failed. Read more on World Astonished That Stock Index Falls During Historic Financial Crisis…
  no shit sherlock

John McCain Admits He Was Not Clairvoyant About The Subprimes

Hmm, here is an interesting video clip sent to us by a Wonkette New Hampshire Primary Operative. It shows John McCain last November talking with some nice New Hampshire newspaper editors about economic things and good christ, maybe everything he said was rubbish, but this was possibly the first time we saw him looking not grumpy or confused or ghoulish in… ever. The six-minute segment is sort of interminable for those of you watching at work so here is a sad/lovely quote: Read more on John McCain Admits He Was Not Clairvoyant About The Subprimes…
  the neighbors are watching

Obama Keeps Child Slaves In Fancy Illegal House

The front page of GOP.com — one of America’s top sources of humor — uses this graphic to represent “Obama’s Glass Houses.” It links to a scandalous item about how Obama locked into a modestly below-average mortgage rate because he had good credit. Oh no that is terrible oh no. We’re mostly interested in the “glass house” illustration in this graphic, however. Is that what a Liberal’s illegally-financed home looks like? All clear-like with fancy angles and such? Indeed, most Liberals live in subprime replicas of Dulles airport. [GOP.com] Read more on Obama Keeps Child Slaves In Fancy Illegal House…