morons
To a man?”Sandra Fluke Announces Engagement” — Monica Crowley (@MonicaCrowley) April 26, 2012 Did you hear that free sex-pill devourer Sandra Fluke is getting engaged? Whatever. But here’s Fox News/Washington Times mistake Monica Crowley making history’s funniest joke, ever. “To a man?” Ha ha ha ha! OH, YOU. (“To a man?”, she tweets.)
America’s princess, Bristol Palin, did an exclusive phone-in with these two minor-market FM morning show announcers all about the mysteries of her life — and she called in from her Arizona stucco ghetto foreclosure about 50 miles outside of Phoenix, surrounded by garbage and cotton fields and bits of rock, and you can almost see [...]
Which pea-brained clown will become the new chairperson of the Republican National Committee? Whether it’s the dingbat woman dreaming of getting wasted at her kitchen table again or the lunkhead who just keeps barking “Reagan! Reagan!” when asked if he has ever read a book, all five of these mouth-breathing imbeciles are perfect representatives of [...]
Due to a hilarious Google mix-up, hundreds of people looking for holy-book-burning superstar Terry Jones’ contact info somehow ended up with Alex Pareene’s e-mail address, and sent him their Very Important Thoughts on the subject! Because he writes for Salon now, he uses this as a very serious “teachable moment” to explain why Peter Orszag [...]
Do you know what this idiotic anti-Cordoba House crusade has done? It has poisoned the atmosphere at Ground Zero, one of America’s most important places. Ground Zero is a giant open pit in the ground that has remained a sad hole surrounded by ugly temporary fencing for nearly a decade because of 21st century America’s [...]
Comedy time again, as long as you can laugh at an oil-drenched seabird who can’t get back to its wetlands nesting site to feed its babies, stupid bird! Sarah Palin has a hilarious new Facebook message that will, probably, end up being BP’s actual legal defense, which the Supreme Court will eventually rule in favor [...]
LIBERAL FASCIST COPS BREAK UP GOOD CLEAN FUN: A quintet of Georgians were arrested for building a bunch of pipe bombs, but they claim that they just wanted to “play” with the deadly explosives, blowin’ up shit in their backyard for fun! The group says that they “stole materials from a residential property with trailers [...]
How do you baffle a not-too-smart nation of people who aren’t really much into book-learnin’? Have competing publishers release similarly-titled books about popular idiot Sarah Palin! Not even counting the “I’m buying this only for ironic reasons” crowd in Brooklyn and Silver Lake, there is apparently total chaos in bookstores, as people who’ve only previously [...]
Black Irish immigrant leprechaun Patrick “Sinead” Buchanan knows what kinds of immigrants he hates: all the ones who showed up after his ring-kissing potato-drunkard parents were dumped by the British in New York Harbor as a final retaliation for the American Revolution. That’s why Buchanan and his wacky white-supremacist friends are, these days, mostly concerned [...]
Here is a SHOCKER regarding the holy trinity of American hobbies (religion, wingnut politics and pornography). It turns out that conservative Jesus Goblins are using up all of America’s precious porn reserves. A new study proves the “red states” consume so much (gay and interracial) naked sex media, it’s crazy! But is there another, hidden [...]
Possibly the most ignorant motherfucker to ever walk the halls of the Senate, Rick Santorum was sent packing in 2006 because, even by Republican standards, he is an outrageously stupid bigot and total human failure. For some reason, he was allowed to give a “speech” at some college in Nebraska, where he gave his usual [...]
K-LOAD: Mouth-breathing fart-sack Kathryn Jean Lopez has posted a confusing new Word Jumble, in which she claims that Prop. 8, the Mormons’ financial assault on California homosexuals, “won by the same margin as Barack Obama did in that state.” Obama crushed McCain 61%-37% in California, while Prop. 8 squeaked by with 52%. [Andrew Sullivan]
Truly, Virgil Goode was our nation’s finest congressman, because only he stood up for America when a frightening Detroit Muslim, Keith Ellison, won a Minnesota congressional seat in 2006. See, Ellison was sworn in using Thomas Jefferson’s Koran, but Goode wanted to use it, for masturbation, because Goode represented Virginia’s 5th congressional district, which includes [...]
Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher, a creepy-looking unlicensed handyman in Toledo, was a comical example of how desperate the McCain team became in the final two weeks of the campaign. Because this unappealing idiot was videotaped making a brief untrue claim to Barack Obama, who happened to be campaigning in Ohio near this idiot’s home, John McCain [...]
