Tag: morons

Yep, she's worried. Look at the fear in her eyes.

Poll: Donald Trump MURDERING Hillary Clinton In New York (Among Republicans)

Math is hard. Especially if you're already a moron with a skewed sense of reality. Which explains why both the Stupidest Man on the Internet and Donald Trump's campaign manager are simply ECSTATIC about a new poll that shows...

Bill O’Reilly Doubts Even Donald Trump Can Find Jobs For Dumb Tattooed Blacks

Who says conservative media outlets never ask Donald Trump the tough questions? On Fox's The O'Reilly Factor Monday night, host Bill O'Reilly interrupted Donald Trump's fantasy about solving all of America's race issues by "bringing jobs back from China"...
Idea hat.

Nice Knowing Y’all, Louie Gohmert Says God’s Gonna Smite Us Now

Well, America, it's been a nice run, but it's all done now, you realize, because the Supreme Court did Gay 9/11 all over us today. And who knows that better than Texas Congress-ballbearing Louie Gohmert, who had dire warnings...
Chris Christie had no comment on this screenshot

Morning Maddow: The GOP Has Vax-In-Mouth Disease

Rachel Maddow brings us Day Two of Republicans trying to figure out whether they believe in vaccinations against deadly diseases. In London, Chris Christie apparently took seriously her Monday piece about the curse of American politicians saying dumb things...
Some of teh volunteers at Antietam

Colorado Nutjob: Why Don’t Textbooks Explain America Voluntarily Stopped Slaving?

The Great AP History Fight in Jefferson County, Colorado, continues into another week, and there have been a few new developments. For one thing, on Thursday night the conservative school board passed a compromise version of a proposal to...
S-M-R-T

Idiot Idaho Teen Rolls SUV When Idiot Friend Lights Armpit Hair On Fire

In what we fear could be the start of a trend, a Boise teenager who is definitely not Kid Zoom or any of his friends crashed a Ford Bronco Sunday after his 16-year-old front seat passenger reached over and...
Isis Ebola Ninjas are coming for you!

James O’Keefe Proves Obama Lets Canadian ISIS Militants In Ninja Costumes Cross The Border With Ebola And Ricin

OMG you guys, we are SO SCREWED! After proving that an asshole in an Osama bin Laden mask can cross the Rio Grande, brilliant rightwing documentarian James O'Keefe has once again proven that Barack Hussein Obama wants us...

Virginia Congressional Candidate Pretty Sure God Made Your Baby Disabled Because You Had An Abortion, You Slut

Well here's an update on a dude we first heard about way back in 2010: Virginia State Delegate Bob Marshall said back then that he believed that God punishes women who have abortions by sending them disabled children when...

Gun-Loving Georgia House Passes Defense Of Gun Love Act

Hello, lover. Have you sometimes felt outcast for your love? Do others not understand you, do they think your love is somehow "wrong" or "immoral"? Has your state or city passed laws restricting your love, or banning its open...

After Awesome Rally, Teabaggers Winning Shutdown Showdown, Say Teabaggers

Let us kick off this long week of resisting the urge to cock-punch every conservative within a thousand-mile-radius with a quick summary of the absurd sights in our fair nation’s capital city on Sunday, where hundreds of dipwads gathered...

Your Wonkette PRISM Explainer, Part 2 Of Infinite: Which Morons Are Saying What Stupid Things About PRISM?

We decided we needed an entirely separate Explainer to discuss all the stupid morons saying dumb things about PRISM and/or the collection of All Metadata Everywhere, because so many "journalists" have been MORE THAN HAPPY to come forward, pat...

Sad Pundits: Why Won’t Insiders Tell Us Who Will Win The Election?

THIS ELECTION, YOU GUYS! It is ... confusing? Like, some people say that Barack Obama will win re-election, while others say that his opponent, Mitt Romney, will prevail! WHO ARE WE TO TRUST? Normally, of course,...

New AP Poll: Americans Are Dumb And Petty, Like Always (And Also Romney Is Winning)

OH CRAP ROMNEY'S AHEAD BY TWO POINTS IN THE LATEST AP POLL AND THE LADIES ALL LOVE HIM NOW TIME TO FREAK OUT??? No, don't worry, libs, your math and numbers boyfriend Nate Silver still has Barry with a...

‘Fox & Friends’ Investigates the ‘Lesbian Cabal’ Running DHS

Pretty light day on Fox News' illiterate dementia variety hour, Fox & Friends; the muppet crew, plus Geraldo, only entertained questions about one federal department being run by a "lesbian cabal." Let's up the game a bit for Monday,...

Michelle Obama Threatened By Cops, People Who Hate Spider-Man Musicals

One would think that the words following "Michelle Obama threatened by..." would be something along the lines of "Slurpee Machine Technicians" or "Vengeful Hoveround Gang." Actually, though, the threats made against the First Lady's life in recent days...

Sandra Fluke Engagement Leads To Even More Hilarious Jokes

To a man?"Sandra Fluke Announces Engagement"— Monica Crowley (@MonicaCrowley) April 26, 2012 Did you hear that free sex-pill devourer Sandra Fluke is getting engaged? Whatever. But here's Fox News/Washington Times mistake Monica Crowley making history's funniest joke, ever. "To a...