morons

Well here’s an update on a dude we first heard about way back in 2010: Virginia State Delegate Bob Marshall said back then that he believed that God punishes women who have abortions by sending them disabled children when they have later pregnancies. Here’s how it works, he said: “The number of children who are […]

Hello, lover. Have you sometimes felt outcast for your love? Do others not understand you, do they think your love is somehow “wrong” or “immoral”? Has your state or city passed laws restricting your love, or banning its open expression? Yes? Well, come to Georgia, baby. We know how you feel, and we’re open and […]

Let us kick off this long week of resisting the urge to cock-punch every conservative within a thousand-mile-radius with a quick summary of the absurd sights in our fair nation’s capital city on Sunday, where hundreds of dipwads gathered at the World War II memorial to protest it being closed due to a government shutdown […]

We decided we needed an entirely separate Explainer to discuss all the stupid morons saying dumb things about PRISM and/or the collection of All Metadata Everywhere, because so many “journalists” have been MORE THAN HAPPY to come forward, pat America on its pretty head and mansplain that this is no big deal, and also, isn’t […]

THIS ELECTION, YOU GUYS! It is … confusing? Like, some people say that Barack Obama will win re-election, while others say that his opponent, Mitt Romney, will prevail! WHO ARE WE TO TRUST? Normally, of course, we’d turn to the literally of hundreds of people who are employed full-time by various old- and new-media outlets […]

OH CRAP ROMNEY’S AHEAD BY TWO POINTS IN THE LATEST AP POLL AND THE LADIES ALL LOVE HIM NOW TIME TO FREAK OUT??? No, don’t worry, libs, your math and numbers boyfriend Nate Silver still has Barry with a 70% chance of winning (and also offers soothing words about how the media specifically pays attention […]

Pretty light day on Fox News’ illiterate dementia variety hour, Fox & Friends; the muppet crew, plus Geraldo, only entertained questions about one federal department being run by a “lesbian cabal.” Let’s up the game a bit for Monday, Fox & Friends?

One would think that the words following “Michelle Obama threatened by…” would be something along the lines of “Slurpee Machine Technicians” or “Vengeful Hoveround Gang.” Actually, though, the threats made against the First Lady’s life in recent days came from – surprise! – a police officer and a run-of-the-mill moron. First, a D.C. police officer […]

To a man?”Sandra Fluke Announces Engagement” — Monica Crowley (@MonicaCrowley) April 26, 2012 Did you hear that free sex-pill devourer Sandra Fluke is getting engaged? Whatever. But here’s Fox News/Washington Times mistake Monica Crowley making history’s funniest joke, ever. “To a man?” Ha ha ha ha! OH, YOU. (“To a man?”, she tweets.)

America’s princess, Bristol Palin, did an exclusive phone-in with these two minor-market FM morning show announcers all about the mysteries of her life — and she called in from her Arizona stucco ghetto foreclosure about 50 miles outside of Phoenix, surrounded by garbage and cotton fields and bits of rock, and you can almost see […]

Which pea-brained clown will become the new chairperson of the Republican National Committee? Whether it’s the dingbat woman dreaming of getting wasted at her kitchen table again or the lunkhead who just keeps barking “Reagan! Reagan!” when asked if he has ever read a book, all five of these mouth-breathing imbeciles are perfect representatives of […]

Due to a hilarious Google mix-up, hundreds of people looking for holy-book-burning superstar Terry Jones’ contact info somehow ended up with Alex Pareene’s e-mail address, and sent him their Very Important Thoughts on the subject! Because he writes for Salon now, he uses this as a very serious “teachable moment” to explain why Peter Orszag […]

Do you know what this idiotic anti-Cordoba House crusade has done? It has poisoned the atmosphere at Ground Zero, one of America’s most important places. Ground Zero is a giant open pit in the ground that has remained a sad hole surrounded by ugly temporary fencing for nearly a decade because of 21st century America’s […]

Comedy time again, as long as you can laugh at an oil-drenched seabird who can’t get back to its wetlands nesting site to feed its babies, stupid bird! Sarah Palin has a hilarious new Facebook message that will, probably, end up being BP’s actual legal defense, which the Supreme Court will eventually rule in favor […]

LIBERAL FASCIST COPS BREAK UP GOOD CLEAN FUN: A quintet of Georgians were arrested for building a bunch of pipe bombs, but they claim that they just wanted to “play” with the deadly explosives, blowin’ up shit in their backyard for fun! The group says that they “stole materials from a residential property with trailers […]