Tag Archives: morning joe

  when you've lost joe you've lost america

Joe Scarborough Discovers ‘Disgusting’ Daily Caller Racism, Is Surprised (VIDEO)

We wonder who Joe Scarborough is talking about here, when he calls out rightwing websites for being “beneath contempt” in their treatment of Trayvon Martin! (No we don’t. He is talking about Tucker Carlson’s Daily Caller.) Noting that the Daily Caller had breathlessly presented Trayvon Martin’s Twitter feed as fodder for the poor oppressed whites of the world to note what a bad bad boy Trayvon Martin was, Scarborough practically throws up at the disingenuousness of presenting something so “innocuous … I can show you a lot of white kids, from suburban neighborhoods … come on.” Then he goes on and on and on about some on the right (Tucker Carlson) being “disgusting, warped, twisted and distorted.” Transcript and video of Joe Scarborough calling out Tucker Carlson for hurting America, after the jump. Read more on Joe Scarborough Discovers ‘Disgusting’ Daily Caller Racism, Is Surprised (VIDEO)…
  lies and the smegma-lipped liars who tell them

Rick Santorum Simply Does Not Care for Joe Scarborough’s ‘Gotcha’ Questions

Rick Santorum put the pout back on his smegma-caked lips when Sad Morning Joe host Joe Scarborough insisted on reminding him he was a dirty liar. First, temptressy succubus Mika Zbrzeziznzkszy was all, “Hey, so is everybody on your team telling you to zip it with this birth control nonsense yet, because I and all other ladies in the universe except for Kathryn Jean Lopez want to smack you right in your mean little puss?” Read more on Rick Santorum Simply Does Not Care for Joe Scarborough’s ‘Gotcha’ Questions…
  dead-president fanboys

Koran-Burner Totally PUNKED’D By Jon Meacham On ‘Morning Joe’

Florida’s attention-craved international superstar pastorman went on the Morning Joe today, but it was a total goof: They didn’t interview him at all! Instead Mika Brzezinski throws to a soon-to-be unemployed Jon Meacham, who is about to pee himself from excitement and adrenaline. Meacham tells some slash fiction story he wrote about the Jesus in Newsweek that nobody read, and the show doesn’t even let the pastor respond, because EPIC BURN (more epic than a Koran fire). But that’s not all! Read more on Koran-Burner Totally PUNKED’D By Jon Meacham On ‘Morning Joe’…
  smackdown friday

Anthony Weiner SMACKS DOWN Peggy Noonan, With SMACK DOWN

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy The prodigal video, it has finally arrived, praise Jeebus: delightful Rep. Anthony Weiner yelling at old moron Her Highness Madame Regina WordGod Peggy Noonan, who is piiiiiiiissssssed. Sit through about 30 seconds of Howard Dean not knowing what he’s talking about process-wise (You can’t pass the whole thing through reconciliation! George Bush had trouble passing domestic legislation too!), and then watch Anthony Weiner try not to beat the shit out of all of these people. [TPM] Read more on Anthony Weiner SMACKS DOWN Peggy Noonan, With SMACK DOWN…
  the biden chronicles

Biden: Jesus Will Not Be Kind To This Lieberman, Later

For some reason the Obama administration decided to put crazy old Joe Biden on the Morning Joe program, the one where some ex-Congressman and a random statesman’s daughter drink Bacardi for like four hours and then have sex on Dylan Ratigan’s ottoman. Such a jovial atmosphere is sure to be a Gaffe Trap of gravest danger! Read more on Biden: Jesus Will Not Be Kind To This Lieberman, Later…
  what up

Michael Steele Has A Lot Of Big Ideas About Harry Reid’s ’20 Seat Majority’

Aspiring children’s birthday clown Michael Steele wants to know exactly what Harry Reid’s problem is. It’s like, Reid already has his precious “20 seat majority” so why are we even still talking about any of this health care whatever? Oh no? Oh YES. Steele went on Morning Joe’s Pun & Politicks Revue on teevee this morning to prove, with arithmetic, that Harry Reid and his dumb health care amendment statute Congress bill are totes “whacked-out.” Michael Steele is one viewing of School House Rock short of being merely benign. [TPM] Read more on Michael Steele Has A Lot Of Big Ideas About Harry Reid’s ’20 Seat Majority’…
  socialized medicine

Chris Matthews On Healthcare Rampage

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy Oh sure he is an angry spittle-flecked chicken and all, but this doesn’t mean Chris Matthews is always wrong, for example this morning when he yelled at Joe and Mika for being pussyfooting sellouts on the healthcare issue. Joe’s all, “But I am concerned about costs,” and Chris does not actually filibuster that much (!), just keeps saying “Well do you want working class people to have healthcare or not?” and Mika is just so ANGRY that nobody will let her speak. (Which it’s true is pretty goddamn rude.) [Morning Joe] Read more on Chris Matthews On Healthcare Rampage…
  satan

Peggy Noonan Displeased With Mika Brzezinski’s Vulgar Footwear

Peggy Noonan warped to MSNBC this morning for a pot of tea and pleasant conversation about the current Politicks, but what didst she see? The Devill-Womman, Mika Brzezinski, clad in vulgarian foot-leathers! “They were an X-rated fantasy walking on Mika’s feet,” our regina declares, and later she compounds that they are “a mortal sin, on her feet.” This demon bull whore Mika was later slaughtered, under Peggington’s watch. You may watch film-tapes of these events at the Arianna Huffington’s Internet Post, which darest not offer Em-Bed Code for its film-tapes. [Huffington Post] Read more on Peggy Noonan Displeased With Mika Brzezinski’s Vulgar Footwear…
  his voice is adorable!

Mark Penn Does Not See ‘Angry Left’ As New Important Microtrend

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy Monster-Emperor of Targeted Polls and Hillary Clinton’s personal Iago, Mark Penn, went on the Morning Joe program today because his important book from 90 years ago, Microtrends, is now in paperback. Hooray! (And if you blog about it, you win ten million dollars!) Read more on Mark Penn Does Not See ‘Angry Left’ As New Important Microtrend…
  peggy's world

Peggy Noonan Worries That Internet Writers Cannot Perform Five-month Undercover Journalistic Investigations In Newark!

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy Madame regina St. Peggintonia Noonanshire of the Wall Street Journal banking pamphlet guest-hosted a special version of Mornington Joeington today, and one of the topics was the Death of Newspapers and Journalism. In this snippetington, she interrupts a polite conversation between Mika and Arianna to declare an Official Sadness over how, in the future times, our greatest newspapers will not be able to afford sending a single reporter “undercover” to Newark, New Jersey for five months. “Oh well.” Then she calls everyone who does anything on the Internet an idiot, especially in San Diego. Just a very rude woman sometimes, Peggington is. [MSNBC] Read more on Peggy Noonan Worries That Internet Writers Cannot Perform Five-month Undercover Journalistic Investigations In Newark!…
  D.C. crime is unstoppable

Famous MSNBC Host Mika Brzezinski Wuz Mugged!

Mika Brzezinski got mugged this morning waiting for her cab outside a DC hotel. That just sucks. So Joe Scarborough just keeps talking about it, while Mika says, “It’s fine. MOVING ON.” [Washington Times] Read more on Famous MSNBC Host Mika Brzezinski Wuz Mugged!…
  wall street: operation rescue

Walnuts Confuses World On Morning Teevee

God this just makes no sense. McCain says about the bailout he voted for just last night, “This bill is putting us on the brink of economic disaster.” Well that’s as good a reason as any to support it, no? Then he says he voted against Medicare and porks at other times in his life and recently flew into Washington to convince his Republican friends also to vote for this bill that puts our country on the brink of economic disaster while Obama talked on the telephone, wait, WHAT? [YouTube] Read more on Walnuts Confuses World On Morning Teevee…
  nation of effetes

Romney: I Stalk Obama In Online Porn Chat Rooms

Here is Mormon candidate Mitt Romney on the Morning Joe program today, being an idiot. He says Obama is “well-spoken” and “attractive” and a hot “internet date” with whom he wants to engage in coitus. But! Not presidential! (Oh and hey, Joe Scarborough, you’re pretty good here, considering you host a chatty morning show on a cable news network! We hear… real questions, and facts, countering the McCain team’s psychobabble! Keep this up hmm?) [MSNBC] Read more on Romney: I Stalk Obama In Online Porn Chat Rooms…
  oopsies

Dan Rather Continues To Say Strange Things On Teevee!

Here’s beloved liberal Dan Rather responding to a comment from former NFL star Tiki Barber on today’s edition of MSNBC’s Morning Joe, about Jesse Jackson’s influence in politics. We did not see the show as it aired, so we aren’t sure why arbitrary celebrity bums were picked off the street to host today. Point is, Dan Rather says he appreciates Jesse Jackson and that Jackson was importantly “paving the way for an Osama bin Laden to appear.” Our friends on the right would agree! We think he meant “Barack Osama bin Laden,” however. [YouTube] Read more on Dan Rather Continues To Say Strange Things On Teevee!…
 

Terry McAuliffe Continues To Pleasantly Embarrass Clinton Campaign

Here’s nutty Clinton campaign chairman Terry McAuliffe making good on his promise to do shots with Morning Joe co-host Mika Brzezinski, today, at like 7 a.m. They are downing “Puerto Rican rum,” as Terry gladly points out — it’s a very exclusive brand known as “regular Bacardi.” Then they talk about politics for a while, and Mika touches him at the end, and now we know that they are having an affair, forever. [MSNBC] Read more on Terry McAuliffe Continues To Pleasantly Embarrass Clinton Campaign…
 

Joe Scarborough & Hillary Clinton Like-Like Each Other

Apparently, Joe Scarborough has been nice to Hillary Clinton recently. Did you hear about this? No? Must’ve started during that Wright scandal, you know, when the Main Stream Media realized Barry was a freakish, church-going Muslim. In any event, here is Hillary in her Outer Space costume flirting with the host of MSNBC’s Morning Joe, for the first minute or so. Then it’s just policy-talk or some such. [MSNBC] Read more on Joe Scarborough & Hillary Clinton Like-Like Each Other…
 

Clinton Advisor Terry McAuliffe Rips Clinton Adviser Mark Penn For Ripping Clinton Advisers For Ripping Mark Penn

Many Democrats are worried about the party’s doom scenario that might result from big Clinton wins today: Hillary Clinton will do anything to win the nomination, and that may include staying in the race! But the silly Democrats have nothing to worry about, because very soon the various Clinton advisers will have destroyed each other, and Hillary will be a roving cat lady trying to find her way home. First Harold Ickes blamed the campaign’s failures on Mark Penn, then Mark Penn blamed it on Harold Ickes, Patti Solis Doyle and anyone who isn’t himself. Now Team Hillary’s chairman, Terry McAuliffe, is telling Penn to shut his fat Bowser mouth. Read more on Clinton Advisor Terry McAuliffe Rips Clinton Adviser Mark Penn For Ripping Clinton Advisers For Ripping Mark Penn…
 

Chris Matthews Defends His ‘Hillary Studies’ Scholarship

newVideoPlayer("Mathews_Responds_Snapper.flv", 475, 376,""); Three days after Hillary’s surprise victory in New Hampshire, the media consensus is that it was Chris “Rangoon” Matthews‘ fault, because he’s a misogynist. On today’s edition of Morning Joe, MSNBC continued its navel-gazing by getting Matthews’ response to the ladies of The View. Barbara Walters et al. had called Matthews’ insinuation that Hillary is running because Bill “messed around” inappropriate and vaguely sexist. But according to Matthews, that’s historical fact, unfuckwithable, not open to discussion, GAME OVER MAN. Read more on Chris Matthews Defends His ‘Hillary Studies’ Scholarship…
 

Chris Matthews Thinks a Barack Win in Iowa Could Solve Every Problem Ever

newVideoPlayer("Mathews_Iowa_Snapper.flv", 475, 376);On today’s edition of MSNBC’s Morning Joe program, Chris Matthews offered his take on what an Obama win in Iowa would mean — for both the election and the saga of humankind’s importance in the universe. Watch the clip, folks, because his says the following words with complete sincerity: Read more on Chris Matthews Thinks a Barack Win in Iowa Could Solve Every Problem Ever…