morning joe

Rick Santorum put the pout back on his smegma-caked lips when Sad Morning Joe host Joe Scarborough insisted on reminding him he was a dirty liar. First, temptressy succubus Mika Zbrzeziznzkszy was all, “Hey, so is everybody on your team telling you to zip it with this birth control nonsense yet, because I and all […]

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy Welcome Wonkeratti to Super Tuesday! Are the birds chirping just a little bit louder? Is the exhaust in the air just a little more sharp? Is there love in your heart for all of your brethren?

Florida’s attention-craved international superstar pastorman went on the Morning Joe today, but it was a total goof: They didn’t interview him at all! Instead Mika Brzezinski throws to a soon-to-be unemployed Jon Meacham, who is about to pee himself from excitement and adrenaline. Meacham tells some slash fiction story he wrote about the Jesus in […]

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy The prodigal video, it has finally arrived, praise Jeebus: delightful Rep. Anthony Weiner yelling at old moron Her Highness Madame Regina WordGod Peggy Noonan, who is piiiiiiiissssssed. Sit through about 30 seconds of Howard Dean not knowing what he’s talking about process-wise (You […]

For some reason the Obama administration decided to put crazy old Joe Biden on the Morning Joe program, the one where some ex-Congressman and a random statesman’s daughter drink Bacardi for like four hours and then have sex on Dylan Ratigan’s ottoman. Such a jovial atmosphere is sure to be a Gaffe Trap of gravest […]

Aspiring children’s birthday clown Michael Steele wants to know exactly what Harry Reid’s problem is. It’s like, Reid already has his precious “20 seat majority” so why are we even still talking about any of this health care whatever? Oh no? Oh YES. Steele went on Morning Joe’s Pun & Politicks Revue on teevee this […]

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy Oh sure he is an angry spittle-flecked chicken and all, but this doesn’t mean Chris Matthews is always wrong, for example this morning when he yelled at Joe and Mika for being pussyfooting sellouts on the healthcare issue. Joe’s all, “But I am […]

Peggy Noonan warped to MSNBC this morning for a pot of tea and pleasant conversation about the current Politicks, but what didst she see? The Devill-Womman, Mika Brzezinski, clad in vulgarian foot-leathers! “They were an X-rated fantasy walking on Mika’s feet,” our regina declares, and later she compounds that they are “a mortal sin, on […]

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy Monster-Emperor of Targeted Polls and Hillary Clinton’s personal Iago, Mark Penn, went on the Morning Joe program today because his important book from 90 years ago, Microtrends, is now in paperback. Hooray! (And if you blog about it, you win ten million dollars!)

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy Madame regina St. Peggintonia Noonanshire of the Wall Street Journal banking pamphlet guest-hosted a special version of Mornington Joeington today, and one of the topics was the Death of Newspapers and Journalism. In this snippetington, she interrupts a polite conversation between Mika and […]

Mika Brzezinski got mugged this morning waiting for her cab outside a DC hotel. That just sucks. So Joe Scarborough just keeps talking about it, while Mika says, “It’s fine. MOVING ON.” [Washington Times]

God this just makes no sense. McCain says about the bailout he voted for just last night, “This bill is putting us on the brink of economic disaster.” Well that’s as good a reason as any to support it, no? Then he says he voted against Medicare and porks at other times in his life […]

Here is Mormon candidate Mitt Romney on the Morning Joe program today, being an idiot. He says Obama is “well-spoken” and “attractive” and a hot “internet date” with whom he wants to engage in coitus. But! Not presidential! (Oh and hey, Joe Scarborough, you’re pretty good here, considering you host a chatty morning show on […]

Here’s beloved liberal Dan Rather responding to a comment from former NFL star Tiki Barber on today’s edition of MSNBC’s Morning Joe, about Jesse Jackson’s influence in politics. We did not see the show as it aired, so we aren’t sure why arbitrary celebrity bums were picked off the street to host today. Point is, […]

Here’s nutty Clinton campaign chairman Terry McAuliffe making good on his promise to do shots with Morning Joe co-host Mika Brzezinski, today, at like 7 a.m. They are downing “Puerto Rican rum,” as Terry gladly points out — it’s a very exclusive brand known as “regular Bacardi.” Then they talk about politics for a while, […]