Wonkette

Here is Mormon candidate Mitt Romney on the Morning Joe program today, being an idiot. He says Obama is “well-spoken” and “attractive” and a hot “internet date” with whom he wants to engage in coitus. But! Not presidential! (Oh and hey, Joe Scarborough, you’re pretty good here, considering you host a chatty morning show on a cable news network! We hear… real questions, and facts, countering the McCain team’s psychobabble! Keep this up hmm?) [MSNBC]

Here’s beloved liberal Dan Rather responding to a comment from former NFL star Tiki Barber on today’s edition of MSNBC’s Morning Joe, about Jesse Jackson’s influence in politics. We did not see the show as it aired, so we aren’t sure why arbitrary celebrity bums were picked off the street to host today. Point is, Dan Rather says he appreciates Jesse Jackson and that Jackson was importantly “paving the way for an Osama bin Laden to appear.” Our friends on the right would agree! We think he meant “Barack Osama bin Laden,” however. [YouTube]

Here’s nutty Clinton campaign chairman Terry McAuliffe making good on his promise to do shots with Morning Joe co-host Mika Brzezinski, today, at like 7 a.m. They are downing “Puerto Rican rum,” as Terry gladly points out — it’s a very exclusive brand known as “regular Bacardi.” Then they talk about politics for a while, and Mika touches him at the end, and now we know that they are having an affair, forever. [MSNBC]

Apparently, Joe Scarborough has been nice to Hillary Clinton recently. Did you hear about this? No? Must’ve started during that Wright scandal, you know, when the Main Stream Media realized Barry was a freakish, church-going Muslim. In any event, here is Hillary in her Outer Space costume flirting with the host of MSNBC’s Morning Joe, for the first minute or so. Then it’s just policy-talk or some such. [MSNBC]

Many Democrats are worried about the party’s doom scenario that might result from big Clinton wins today: Hillary Clinton will do anything to win the nomination, and that may include staying in the race! But the silly Democrats have nothing to worry about, because very soon the various Clinton advisers will have destroyed each other, and Hillary will be a roving cat lady trying to find her way home. First Harold Ickes blamed the campaign’s failures on Mark Penn, then Mark Penn blamed it on Harold Ickes, Patti Solis Doyle and anyone who isn’t himself. Now Team Hillary’s chairman, Terry McAuliffe, is telling Penn to shut his fat Bowser mouth. MORE »

Three days after Hillary’s surprise victory in New Hampshire, the media consensus is that it was Chris “Rangoon” Matthews‘ fault, because he’s a misogynist. On today’s edition of Morning Joe, MSNBC continued its navel-gazing by getting Matthews’ response to the ladies of The View. Barbara Walters et al. had called Matthews’ insinuation that Hillary is running because Bill “messed around” inappropriate and vaguely sexist. But according to Matthews, that’s historical fact, unfuckwithable, not open to discussion, GAME OVER MAN.

On today’s edition of MSNBC’s Morning Joe program, Chris Matthews offered his take on what an Obama win in Iowa would mean — for both the election and the saga of humankind’s importance in the universe. Watch the clip, folks, because his says the following words with complete sincerity:

“The biggest American political story in modern times if Obama wins the Iowa caucuses. It’ll be all over the world, it will sweep the headlines of every newspaper in the world, friend, foe or neutral. It will be the Third World story of the century, the last century, the biggest story of modern Third World history really, if Obama wins the American presidential caucus in Iowa.”

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