Mike Huckabee’s cocky ass appeared on MSNBC’s Morning Joe this morning to talk about his and Romney’s religion, as well as the recent HuffPo report on Huckabee’s role (active!) in releasing an Arkansas rapist from prison and then watching as he raped more people. On religion, he blabs for a little bit; On the accusations — as shown above– he calls HuffPo a lying sack of Internet crapola.

Mitt Romney’s “Faith in America” speech this morning demonstrated that while he doesn’t intend to convert American democracy into Mormonism, he does intend to convert it into religion in general. So… that’s good! -ish? He mentioned Mormonism only once, but not in reference to his underpants. Or to why anyone would ever become a Mormon. MORE »

Mitt Romney’s big “Faith in America” speech airs at 10:30, and there’s only one thing we’d like him to address (see headline). This guy has one last fucking chance for respectability, and that can only come through a thorough discussion of his underwear.

We’re curious as to how Romney’s dealing with the anxiety. After the jump, a video of Romney and sons’ Wedding Crashers-esque fun time before last week’s debate. (Hint: It makes you hate him more.) MORE »

We’re sort of loving our old Winter Olympics boss getting dodgy over a very fair and simple question: How does the Mormon faith differ from others? WCVB’s Natalie Jacobson tried her best to pin him down, but Mitt throws it to the Internets. Watch Mitt muttering and stuttering. It’s been bad since he started stammering at the Republican debate. But this is ridiculous. This is what fear looks like. [YouTube]

Last week, political circles were abuzz with the news that someone hired push-pollers to draw attention to Romney’s religion in Iowa and New Hampshire. Romney says he considers himself a Christian (even though many evangelicals believe the opposite). But he’s been a little fuzzy on the details of Mormon doctrine and practice, which tends to make other Christians a little squeamish. Last weekend, Romney even acknowledged that his advisers have counseled against talking too much about his religion in any detail.

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Finally, Donny and Marie Osmond have come out of Utah hills to speak on behalf of Mitt Romney. “I think it’s a bit of a popularity contest,” Donny tells Larry King last night. Insightful! Marie, not dancing and very much conscious, addressed whether or not Romney should deliver a speech about religion like JFK did in 1960, in which he said issues of communism, poverty, education and the space race overshadowed issues of faith. Romney advisers maintain the candidate should NOT deliver the “What’s Wrong With Being A Mormon?” speech, but it has been reported that Mitt has studied the phrasing, punctuation and cadence of Kennedy infamous 1960 speech.

Osmonds on fellow Mormon Mitt Romney [CNN]

Sweet candied Walnuts! Get this: John McCain is in his motherfucking 70s but has a mother. You know, one of those things that children and young adults have. Well, Friday was “Bring Your 95-year old Mother To ‘Hardball’ And Watch Her Say Crazy Shit On National TV” Day for our campaigners, and Walnuts heeded the call. Watch Roberta McCain, in the video above, explain why congressman… er, senat… well some doo-hickey government employee Mitt Romney and his magic pajamas-wearing ilk are ruining the world. You’re next on her hit list, youse whiskey-toting Irish papists.

Romney gives Roberta McCain a ‘pass’ for Mormon comments [CNN] MORE »

Twisted weirdo Mitt Romney seems to be the only Republican candidate with anything resembling morals or “family values” (except for Dr. Congressman Ron Paul, of course!), but even the casual observer is forced to conclude he is some kind of deranged freak. First we learned how he tortures the family dog by strapping it to the roof of a station wagon until the poor shivering beast gushes diarrhea, then we find out how much he loves sucking “tube steak,” and now he’s in trouble for getting a “Vanilla Steamer” and not paying for it. MORE »

Did you know that Mormonoligist Republican presidential candidate Willard “Mitt” Romney is secretly a Mexican? It’s true! We read it in the Salt Lake Tribune! The column is by their editorial cartoonist (this particular story was apparently too complex to be illustrated by, say, drawing Mitt in a large comedy sombrero). And it’s sure to send shockwaves through the Mexican-Morman-Republican community. MORE »

Have you heard the good news about Jesus Christ? If you’re running for president, it’s important to say, “Oh yes, I have, and I spend basically all my time worshiping the Baby Jesus.” Never mind that your average presidential candidate has pledged his or her soul to the real god of political power, Lord Satan. But as usual, there is one “maverick” when it comes to pretending to care about Jesus, and his name is Rudy Giuliani. MORE »

28% of Americans refuse to vote for a Mormon, which poses a problem for Mormon presidential candidate Mitt Romney. Because unlike black people or New Yorkers or any number of the other groups of people who won’t vote for Mitt, most of those 28% are probably Republicans. And Mitt gets harassed about his nutty beliefs and magic pajamas by yahoos like us everywhere he goes, when he’d much, much rather talk about how none of his sons are gays and how we need to save all the stem cells from Osama bin Pelosi. MORE »