May 24, 2013
Oh, internets. Thou hath delivered such joyous tidings as we head into what was likely to be an achingly slow holiday news week. We already fought and won the War on Christmas, so we were pretty much just planning on stone cold loafing and drinking until January 3rd or so. But lo, internets, you gave [...]
Teeny-tiny little “non-denominational” (FUCKIN’ CHRISTIAN, BOY) Church in the Valley of Leakey, Texas, has a new sign up welcoming everyone but Barack Obama. The sign reads, “Vote for the Mormon, not the Muslim! The capitalist, not the communist!” That marquee standing outside a non-denominational church has become the talk of the town in Leakey — about [...]
General JC Christian, Patriot, points us to these sad LDS sex-rules that are doubtless responsible for making Miffed and Egg Romney such delightful humans to be around: LDS President Harold B. Lee: I was shocked to have you raise the question about ‘oral lovemaking in the genital area among married couples.’ Heaven forbid any such [...]
And so Vice’s foray to Me-hee-co, to the Mormons and the cartels, comes to an end. You guys loved it so much! Anything happen this time, besides a general wrap-up? YES. Mitt Romney’s Mexico-born cousin Kelly Romney, who is a terrible Christian, says to leeeegalize it.
Pity Bryan Fischer. After spending much of the GOP primary season telling the Christian Right that Mormons aren’t real Christians (and that the First Amendment doesn’t even apply to them), Fischer’s worst fear was realized: The Heretic won the primary, Fischer was not invited to speak at this year’s Values Voter Summit, and now the [...]
Well, we are finally at Part Six of Vice’s foray into the wilds of Me-hee-co, about the Mexican branch of Mitt Romney’s family, and how they and the cartels are just totally kidnapping each other all the time, and this part is really interesting! Why is it interesting when there hasn’t even been a beheading [...]
Does Mitt Romney secretly drink tequila? (No.) But his Mexican cousins do, in between getting kidnapped by the cartels and then “accidentally” shooting them, also too. In this installment of Vice’s tour through the Mexican Mormon/cartel death match, the Vice hipsters might get killed! (But they do not get killed.)
No beheadings again this time! We are beginning to think Vice frontloaded their seven-part series!
Time for your newest Vice video, Wonkers! There are four more before you are done forever. Which part will you whine about this time? (The hipster. You will whine about the hipster like you did in Part One and Part Two.)
So we were in New York, and we stopped by the Vice offices so that we could remember that we too are supposed to be a 170-man empire by now (after all, we have been at Your Wonket six months!), and they showed us this video to see if we wanted to share it with [...]
The Internet is rapidly zeroing in on the identity of Harry Reid’s source, the one who was like “oh yeah Harry, that guy, Romney, no taxes from that guy,” which Harry Reid reiterated on the Senate floor, destroying any semblance of what had previously been a sense of good faith and comity between the two [...]
Oh man, so, you know that cutesy little insight you may have Mitt Romney and the Secrets of Mormonism that you think could pass off as clever or “ironic”? Well, it’s not really interesting at all, nor is it clever, and you don’t know what irony is. So please, please, cut the crap, Brian Schweitzer [...]
Flaccid Mitt Romney was out in Howard, Wisconsin to tell more crappy jokes to old people today when who interrupts him but a supporter of Doctor Congressman Ron Paul, a man who ran for president in 2011. He kept hollerin at Romney about the Mormon religion’s attitudes regarding black people, and black people who spawn [...]
Well, that’s nice, you guys. Having already magically made Mormons out of Anne Frank, Elvis, Pope John Paul II, and Hitler (him they can have!), the Church of Latter Day Saints has now turned its attention to marrying people who might not even want to get married! Like, remember when Bristol and Levi were going [...]
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