Beloved Utah Republican Orrin Hatch loves to sing, and he loves to compose songs, so he can sing them! The songs are often about the Mormon God, but this time the song is about the Liberal God, Ted Kennedy, who has tragically died of old age and sickness. Enjoy! [YouTube via "Scott R."]

Somehow it seems unlikely that this dude, who vows not to read Wonkette ever again, has read much of it in the past. MORE »

Here’s a terrible story about insanity and perversion and other things that are just SO DISTURBINGLY BIZARRE that you wonder why Jesus & God ever created humans, other than to be pets for the important dinosaurs. From AMERICAblog: “A reader contacted me last week, saying that last year, in the heat of the presidential campaign, the Mormons had posthumously baptized Barack Obama’s mother, Stanley Ann Dunham.” And the Internet confirms! WHY WOULD TAGG ROMNEY DO THIS? MORE »

Ha ha, Mitt Romney made a funny! The Wall Street Journal asked him about his New Year’s resolutions, and he said he had decided to “stop wearing a suit and tie to bed.” Silly Mitt, everyone knows his head falls off if you remove the tie. [WSJ]

K-LOAD: Mouth-breathing fart-sack Kathryn Jean Lopez has posted a confusing new Word Jumble, in which she claims that Prop. 8, the Mormons’ financial assault on California homosexuals, “won by the same margin as Barack Obama did in that state.” Obama crushed McCain 61%-37% in California, while Prop. 8 squeaked by with 52%. [Andrew Sullivan]

Here’s what Newt Gingrich tells Bill O’Reilly in response to the latest Homosexual-Mormon War battles: “I think there is a gay and secular fascism in this country that wants to impose its will on the rest of us, is prepared to use violence, to use harassment. I think it is prepared to use the government if it can get control of it. I think that it is a very dangerous threat to anybody who believes in traditional religion.” Dude… they’re just Mormons. MORE »

Just a week or so ago, California Mormons reproduced in reptilian-fashion, thereby increasing their population several times over. “Be fruitful and multiply,” Joe the Mormon God commanded from a modernist ranch house atop a hill in LA. “This is in preparation for Election Day, when ye shall amass at the polls and vote in favor of Proposition 8.” It worked! And now gays and San Franciscans, with their despicable San Francisco values, have started anthraxing Mormon temples. You see, they know no other way. MORE »

Dan Savage offers one of the better commentaries on Prop 8 we’ve seen. [YouTube via Andrew Sullivan]

…But be sure to wear a rubber! It is a true fact that all Mormons have space warts. [SFist]

Do you see this, America? If you vote “yes” on California Prop 8, YOU are authorizing Mitt Romney to come into your evil lesbian household and sniff your panties. [YouTube]

Now that Hillary is “out,” we will devote our full attention towards getting Mitt Romney on the Republican ticket and saving humor forever! And it looks like progress is being made on that front, according to Time’s Mark Halperin, who knows these terrible things. MORE »