Wonkette

The fancy super-computer algorithm thingie that catches stories so’s we can look at porn must have had a hiccup yesterday or else we would’ve written earlier about this item from Editor & Publisher about the Mitter’s Mormon, erm, problem. E&P turned to an expert source on the zany but endearing beliefs of our friends of the LDS (that always sounds like it should be a learning disorder to me…): Pulitzer Prize-winning, uh, cartoonist Steve Benson! Don’t worry though, he know’s what he’s talking about - he comes from a long line of former Mormons. MORE »

So, now that old boss man Mitt has given his best JFK impersonation (complete with a Poppy Bush intro!), the pundits are swirling about. Go ahead and listen to Tucker’s take on Mitt, or check out what real life Park City, Utah locals are saying in Romney’s own backyard. Wonkette’s Rocky Mountain correspondent Breaux Murphy took to the snowy streets, busy kitchens and drunken bars to find out. (Full disclosure: your lovably surly editor lived among this wildlife for many years, getting very little sleep). Lee Jenson starts off the dialogue. And now, let my people speak!

So, we’re pretty sure that this video is being disseminated to warn against Mormonism, but it actually makes it sound cool and New Age-y! According to the (scary-voiced) narrator, Mormonism is sort of like Greek mythology, Battlestar Gallactica and Superman all rolled into one with epic battles, space aliens, celestial polygamous sex orgies and weird guys from upstate New York all rolled into one. The narrators also informs us that Mary wasn’t a virgin when she had Jesus because God fucked her; Jesus himself had three wives; and black people have dark skin not because of any crazy science thing like melanin but because their celestial ancestors weren’t mean enough to Satan. Hey, do you think we can get the fundies to ramp up their attacks on Mormons and leave us other godless heathens who smoke, drink and have sex outside of marriage alone? Or can we at least get Romney and Huckabee to debate this shit? Because that would be totally cool.

Last week, political circles were abuzz with the news that someone hired push-pollers to draw attention to Romney’s religion in Iowa and New Hampshire. Romney says he considers himself a Christian (even though many evangelicals believe the opposite). But he’s been a little fuzzy on the details of Mormon doctrine and practice, which tends to make other Christians a little squeamish. Last weekend, Romney even acknowledged that his advisers have counseled against talking too much about his religion in any detail.

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In an attempt to quell angry God people from getting all self-righteous (good luck!), Mitt Romney held an invitation-only event with students, faculty and alumni of Bob Jones University Tuesday. Guess he figured that since it was a closed event, whatever private revelations about his campaign that would be discussed would never in a million years reach the press. And who wouldn’t believe that!? Sure enough, some sleuth at the meeting sneaked in an “audio recording device” — they can tape soundz people make! — and leaked it to CNN. Basic point: School Chancellor Bob Jones III endorsed Mitt Romney but by and large hates him. MORE »

Everybody knows that when Jesus Christ returns to Missouri to begin His thousand-year reign on Earth — Oh, what’s that? You didn’t know Jesus is returning to Missouri? Well, there’s probably a lot you don’t know about the Church of Jesus Christ of the Latter-Day Saints (”The Mormons!”). All religions are filled with strange and crazy things, and Mormonism is no exception. One of the main parts of the faith is that Jesus will return to Earth, but in Missouri — the location of the Garden of Eden, and the site where Jesus will build the New Jerusalem called City Zion, after he gets back. MORE »