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Posts Tagged ‘morans’

As America Goes, So Goes Miss USA

Monday, July 14th, 2008


Here’s your latest “Miss USA,” falling on her ass during the Miss USA Show, just like the last Miss USA, who fell on her ass last year. But this one starts seal-clapping for herself after tumbling, which is kind of … repugnant? She was taken out back and executed immediately after the program. [News.com.au/AFP]


July 4 Bush Speech Censors Thomas Jefferson

Monday, July 7th, 2008

'Mr. President, it's just a goddamned piece of paper.'Thomas Jefferson invented July 4, by writing the Declaration of Independence for “Independence Day,” and later writing the Constitution, and then patriotically dropping dead on July 4. This is why George W. Bush went to Jefferson’s famous slave brothel, Monticello, to read a July 4 speech that quoted Jefferson except for the part of the quote where Jefferson said Christians were idiots. MORE »


Internet Wisdom For Your Holiday Weekend

Thursday, July 3rd, 2008

Our pretend buddy and former colleague Will Leitch left the sports blog Deadspin last week. As he invented that popular website and has a reputation for being an agreeable human being — rare for the Internet — we were interested in his parting words. Here are some of them. MORE »


Silly Christians Praying For Cheaper Gasoline

Thursday, July 3rd, 2008

OMG!Oil hit a new record price today, hooray! It briefly touched $146.23 a barrel before settling down to the much more normal price of, er, $145.85. A gallon of gasoline is averaging $4.09 in the patriotic United States — with D.C. at $4.16, New York at $4.30 and West Coast prices over $4.50. Why do they keep going up, up, up? Because some goddamned Christians are showing up at gas stations and praying, that’s why. MORE »


Tuesday, July 1st, 2008
  • THIS WILL TURN OUT WELL: House Republicans would have to win back 19 seats in November to “Reclaim Our Majority,” which is why Roy Blunt’s big plan is to back exactly two GOP challengers. [TPM Election Central]

‘I Am Aware Of All Internet Traditions’

Thursday, June 19th, 2008

Need a new Internet Slogan now that all your other old, worn-out slogans were used up by Weezer or immigrants? Here is one for you, only a day old and still pretty much used up like Krusty’s porn: I am aware of all Internet Traditions. What the hell? We will tell you, and you’ll feel dumber for it. MORE »


World’s Greatest Blog Comment

Monday, June 2nd, 2008

Get a Brain, Moran!We were just enjoying this Politico story about how Matt Drudge hearts Barack Obama and this is Reason #2,098,388 why John McCain won’t be president. And then, just as we clicked for the next page, we had a brief glance at the world’s most insane, perfect blog comment in America’s long stupid history of blog comments. Really. Come see. MORE »


Monday, June 2nd, 2008

ALL (OTHER) BLOG COMMENTERS MUST DIE: What happens when you write a political blog post suggesting all commenters are half-literate racist morons who write the same ALL-CAPS crap regardless of the post’s subject? [Political Machine]


A Nation Challenged: CNN Covers Bird ‘Stuck’ In Tree

Thursday, May 1st, 2008

THIS MEANS WAR.
Wonkette tipster “M.K.” sends this ridiculous screenshot from CNN.com, with a note: “The attached Word doc has a lovely screen capture of their late-breaking news (bird stuck in tree) …. Please, for the sweet love of Jeebus, make fun of these troglodytes who have managed to dumb down what seemed already pretty dumb.” Listen, “M.K.,” if that is your real name, if you can’t appreciate the importance of the pelican-in-a-tree story, we may well have to ask if you’re wearing a little flag pin.


Cell Phone Strife At CBS!!

Tuesday, February 5th, 2008

CBS News’ delightful Jeff Greenfield — well, he’s not so delightful anymore, according to Ice Queen Katie Couric. His phone went off IN THE MIDDLE OF THE TEEVEE. Katie Couric yells at him, then realizes yelling would make her less pretty. So then she giggles. It’s America’s anchor and her nutty sidekick, on America’s most famous network!