morans
The Secret Service Would Like A Quiet Moment With Ted Nugent
Celebrated guitar-plucking analberry Ted Nugent caused quite the stir with this delightfully braindead comment the other day: “If Barack Obama becomes the president in November, again, I will be either be dead or in jail by this time next year.” Heh indeedy, what? Perhaps that was an “assassination joke,” or he was just chugging lighter [...]
Scooter Expert Moran Doesn’t Like Being Called a ‘Moran’
Well, fast forward to this afternoon. I couldn’t find the link to the newspaper story so I Googled myself. The first link to the story lead me to Wonkette, a website that specializes in satire. Wonkette spoofed the Times story under the headline: “In A Troubled Economy, Scooter Manufacturing Is The Only Successful Industry.” Reading [...]
IT’S MORE FUN WHEN IT’S YOUR WIFE’S MONEY: Representative James Moran of Virginia used to be a stock broker, and it turns out that he did a lot of stock buying and selling — including behavior that verged on “what later came to be known as day trading” — while in Congress. Much of this [...]
HALLOWEEN IDEAS: Dress Like A Popular Internet Picture
Operative “Sam G.” sends us this gritty look at his “political Halloween costume,” of the popular Internet picture that launched 1,000 ships. His Internet friends will get it! If you like the idea of dressing as a wingnut Internet picture, this is your year!
Moran Will Run For Governor
Of course, Virginia has a distinguished history of being run by morans. [WTOP]
K-LOAD: Mouth-breathing fart-sack Kathryn Jean Lopez has posted a confusing new Word Jumble, in which she claims that Prop. 8, the Mormons’ financial assault on California homosexuals, “won by the same margin as Barack Obama did in that state.” Obama crushed McCain 61%-37% in California, while Prop. 8 squeaked by with 52%. [Andrew Sullivan]
‘The American People Take The Choice Of A New President Very Seriously’…
…which is why they are so obsessed with these matters of grave national importance. Thanks to Wonkette Operative Brian for bringing this to our attention. [Washington Post/CNN]
As America Goes, So Goes Miss USA
Here’s your latest “Miss USA,” falling on her ass during the Miss USA Show, just like the last Miss USA, who fell on her ass last year. But this one starts seal-clapping for herself after tumbling, which is kind of … repugnant? She was taken out back and executed immediately after the program. [News.com.au/AFP]
July 4 Bush Speech Censors Thomas Jefferson
Thomas Jefferson invented July 4, by writing the Declaration of Independence for “Independence Day,” and later writing the Constitution, and then patriotically dropping dead on July 4. This is why George W. Bush went to Jefferson’s famous slave brothel, Monticello, to read a July 4 speech that quoted Jefferson except for the part of the [...]
Silly Christians Praying For Cheaper Gasoline
Oil hit a new record price today, hooray! It briefly touched $146.23 a barrel before settling down to the much more normal price of, er, $145.85. A gallon of gasoline is averaging $4.09 in the patriotic United States — with D.C. at $4.16, New York at $4.30 and West Coast prices over $4.50. Why do [...]
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