It’s not Iran, but the Washington Post editorial board should be pleased to know that we’re bombing the dickens out of something: “NASA’s going for full impact Friday, firing a bomb-laden missile at the moon in a dramatic search for water. The National Aeronautics and Space Administration is sending its Lunar CRater Observing and Sensing Satellite (LCROSS) on a mission to fire a missile into the south pole of the moon as twice the speed of a bullet.” MORE »

Hmm… we’re not going to offer our opinion on the matter until we hear what Bill Kristol has to say about this. [CNN]

Oh well looky here! Two (2) brave Wonkette readers have sent us photographs of the night sky showing a frowning Space Jesus in North America and a happy lil’ Sky Monster in “the nation most likely to be confused with Thailand.” To your left you see the adorable Taiwanese sky, pictured at about 7:30pm local time yesterday. Paul, who sent us this picture, would like to remind you that Taiwan is in the northern hemisphere, so no bellyaching from you Americans and Canadians about how God just likes the down-under peoples better. In truth he just prefers those nations where people wear slippers around the house instead of keeping on their street shoes like common slobs. MORE »

SPACE JESUS WILL FROWN AT YOU TONIGHT!!! Here’s a fun astronomical thing you can enjoy even if you live in the filthy light-polluted city: Figure out how to go outside and look at the sky, to the south (Google can help you find “south,” maybe!), about 20 minutes after sundown, and you will see what looks like a shitty sideways frowny-face emoticon up there, in space! That’s Jupiter as the top eye, Venus as the other eye, and the Islamic Moon as the frowny mouth. Allah really does hate you! But He loves the people of his homeland, Australia, so those people got to see a happy face! [National Geographic/Fox News]

For the great crime of hooking up willing ladies with horny politicians, “D.C. Madam” Deborah Jeane Paltry was facing four to six years in prison, and today she was found dead in a shed behind her mother’s house in Florida. The men who paid for hookers through her service, such as Republican Senator David Vitter, have paid no price for their crimes, and they remain in power as the very people who make up the laws. Anyway, good-bye, Deborah Jeane. Though we didn’t know you at all, you had the grace to hold yourself while those around you crawled. They crawled out of the woodwork, and they whispered into your brain. They set you on the treadmill and then Dick Cheney had you killed. But Wonkette just sent your name to this moon spaceship, Deborah. Enjoy the ride to a better place! [Washington Post]

SAFE … FOR NOW: The Pentagon claims it shot down the Satellite of Death about an hour ago, somewhere west of Hawaii (coincidence?), and now we will not die, at least not tonight, because it’s pretty much tomorrow already. ALSO: Did you people see that Blood Red Lunar Eclipse? Awesomeness. [CNN/AP}

In one of the better recent threads at Ron Paul Forums yesterday, someone floated the idea of courting Neil Armstrong’s support based on a blurb from the famous astronaut’s Wikipedia page: “The first man to walk on the Moon was also approached by political parties from both ends of the spectrum. Unlike former astronauts and United States Senators John Glenn and Harrison Schmitt, Armstrong has turned down all offers.” Later in the thread however, Armstrong’s ties with the CORPORATES are revealed — he’s a Freemason and a Skull & Bonesman, it seems, and therefore made up the moon landing! MORE »