Tag Archives: montana

  ku klutz klan

KKK Guy Still Likes KKK, Except For All That White Supremacist Stuff

Well, this is weird. Seems there is a Klansman up in Montana — coincidentally the new stomping ground of the Editrix, her boy toy and their love fetus — who wants to rebrand the KKK as a nice fraternal organization without all that white supremacism. Because if any one thing has truly kept the KKK from being a leading civic organization, it’s all that opposition to white folks mixing with the mongrel hordes. Read more on KKK Guy Still Likes KKK, Except For All That White Supremacist Stuff…
  Here have some news n stuff

One Guy In New York Has Ebola So You Can Totally Panic Now

Thanks Obama
That screaming hysteria you hear is the sound of everyone in New York being EXTREMELY TERRIFIED!!! or at least making jokes about being EXTREMELY TERRIFIED!!! because Ebola is real now. (You know the rule: It’s real when it happens in New York. The rest is prologue.) Read more on One Guy In New York Has Ebola So You Can Totally Panic Now…
  All The Derp What's Fit To Herp

Derp Roundup: Yes, Stevie Wonder Truthers Are A Thing

Ebony And Irony
Oh, golly, it’s time for another Derp Roundup, a chance for us to bring you some of the stories that were just too damned stupid to ignore altogether, but which didn’t quite merit a post of their own. You may want a good stiff serving of the reality-amending chemical compounds of your choice before you expose yourself to this stuff. Read more on Derp Roundup: Yes, Stevie Wonder Truthers Are A Thing…
  all the derp that's fit to herp

Derp Roundup: KKK And James Woods Gonna Clean Up The Border

But how did she end up with Twilight Sparkle's panties on her head?
Welcome to another Derp Roundup, the feature where we collect all the stupidest stories that we couldn’t find a spot for and dump them in a junk drawer for you to sort through. You may want to wash your brain afterward! Read more on Derp Roundup: KKK And James Woods Gonna Clean Up The Border…
  wild and crazy guy

Brian Schweitzer Is Living Proof That Being A Democrat Is Not A Shield Against Being Dumb

We hadn’t really thought much about Brian Schweitzer, the Democratic ex-governor of Montana, since 2012, when he was saying dumb things about Mitt Romney and Mormons. But now Schweitzer is somehow being talked about as a legitimate possibility for a 2016 Democratic ticket run, so now everyone has to ooh and ahh over how edgy and unfettered he is. The National Journal stuck some poor lady with having to spend quality time with Schweitzer up in Big Sky Country (guns! chainsaws! snowmobiles!) so that he could just be an unending gaffe machine. But not a cool funny gaffe machine like Joe Biden. More like your relative from hell that think’s he’s hilarious, especially after a few drinks, but is just plain stupid. Read more on Brian Schweitzer Is Living Proof That Being A Democrat Is Not A Shield Against Being Dumb…
  i'd like to buy a law

Montana Cable Company Getting Some Idiots To Pay Its Taxes For It, For Freedom

We progressive types have been complaining since the Reagan years about corporate lobbyists writing laws; now a Montana telecom company is leaving that old-fashioned strategy behind and going directly to The People to buy some big taxpayer handouts. Our pals at Cowgirl Blog bring us the story of Charter Communications, which despite being delinquent in paying its 2013 state taxes, is behind an effort to buy a ballot measure that will reduce its taxes and increase its profits. And it’s brought in paid petition-gatherers to tell people that the initiative will “lower your cable bill.” You have to admit it’s a lot more efficient than trying to convince a legislator to sponsor a bill in the legislature, which could just get amended into something the company doesn’t like. Read more on Montana Cable Company Getting Some Idiots To Pay Its Taxes For It, For Freedom…
  judge not

Congrats, ‘Sentencing A Rapist To Volunteer At A Rape Crisis Center,’ You Are The Dumbest Idea Yet

We could probably write a “terribly inadequate rape sentences” post every day with our eyes closed and one hand tied behind our backs. Today, we’ve got Sir Young, who at age 18 raped a 14-year-old girl, a crime for which he could have received a 20 year sentence but because everything in this country is broken, he got 45 days. That would be a bog-standard level of dumb, except for the fact that he also got sentenced to 250 hours of community service AT A RAPE CRISIS CENTER. Read more on Congrats, ‘Sentencing A Rapist To Volunteer At A Rape Crisis Center,’ You Are The Dumbest Idea Yet…
  Our Cold Dead Hands

These People Trapping And Shooting These Teenagers Are Not Very Nice, No, Not At All

The law is a grand thing, a collection of not merely statutes, but also precedents from previous cases, and when a legal innovation comes along, sometimes there have to be a few test cases to determine the boundaries of that new law. Do Nazis have the right to march in Skokie? (yes) Can ‘intelligent design’ be taught as science? (no) Just how black dangerous-seeming does someone have to be before it’s legal to shoot them on your property, and if you really really want to shoot a criminal, any criminal, can you lay out a trap to entice one onto your property? (undetermined) Thankfully, with a lot of states broadening the scope of what counts as “self defense,” several brave Responsible Gun Owners have taken to killing folks for the sake of finding out what kinds of homicide are justified. No applause necessary; these everyday Second Amendment Heroes just see it as their civic duty. Read more on These People Trapping And Shooting These Teenagers Are Not Very Nice, No, Not At All…
  all the derp that's fit to herp

Derp Roundup: Your Weekly March Through The Marshes Of Madness

Welcome to another edition of Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we scrape the dumbest possible news leftovers off our overheated browser tabs, blend them into an almost-digestible slurry, and serve them up to you with a muffin and a warning to imbibe heavily. Read more on Derp Roundup: Your Weekly March Through The Marshes Of Madness…
  derpasaurus rex

Lucky Ducky Montana Tech Graduates Get To Be Commencement Talked At By Young Earth Creationist

Direct from the land of “wait, what?” we bring you news of this year’s commencement speaker at Montana Tech, Montana’s mining and engineering college. This is not, of course, the kind of thing we’d usually cover, except for the part where the commencement speaker is a billionaire young earth creationist, which is sort of an odd fit maybe? A major funder of “creation museums” has been selected — strange as it may seem — to be the commencement speaker at Montana’s leading institution of science, Montana Tech, the mining and engineering school in Butte that has produced some of the world’s top geologists. The speaker is Greg Gianforte, a conservative billionaire whose philanthropic endeavors include funding museums whose purpose is to discredit Darwinism and persuade visitors that the Earth is 6,000 years old, that North America’s geology was carved by Noah’s flood, and that dinosaurs coexisted with early humans. Read more on Lucky Ducky Montana Tech Graduates Get To Be Commencement Talked At By Young Earth Creationist…
  Are there no workhouses?

States Find Farm Bill Loophole To Feed Poor People; Jesus And GOP Righteously Pissed

TRIGGER WARNING: It appears that several states are following the law as laid out in the new farm bill to… wait for it… help poor people eat!!!!1!1! Oh, the humanity! Are you outraged? Are you clutching your pearls while your panties bunch themselves in a wad? We should have warned for earmuffs for all children, because the level of bamboozlement and chicanery and hoodwinkery should get a Political NC-17 rating, turning up the faux-rage to eleven… nay, to TWELVE. TWELVE WE SAY. TWELVE. Sorry we are breaking such awful news to you. Despite the efforts of the GOP (and all too many weak-willed Dems) to cut food stamps by some $8 billion, states are finding ways to continue to provide food stamps, much to the petulant outrage of the GOP, per The Hill: “I would hope that the House would act to try to stop this cheating and this fraud from continuing,” Boehner said. Clearly. States are doing their best to eradicate child malnutrition, and This. Must. Be. Stopped.  Read more on States Find Farm Bill Loophole To Feed Poor People; Jesus And GOP Righteously Pissed…
  bitches set them up

Missoula, Montana, Prosecutors Have A Way Of Shutting Rape Victims Down

You know what it means when we break out the Emergency Kittens, folks. This time around, they are there to help you get through your rage while you read this Mother Jones story about the Department of Justice’s probe of the Missoula, Montana, County Attorney’s Office, which found that when prosecutors bothered to pursue sexual assault cases at all, they “often [treat] these victims with disrespect” and occasionally don’t even prosecute cases for which there are eyewitnesses or even confessions. The DOJ sent a letter to the prosecutor’s office Friday, informing them of the investigation. Jocelyn Samuels, the Acting Assistant Attorney General for the Civil Rights Division, released a statement Friday on the DOJ investigation: “We uncovered evidence of a disturbing pattern of deficiencies in the handling of these cases by the County Attorney’s Office, a pattern that not only denies victims meaningful access to justice, but places the safety of all women in Missoula at risk.” Missoula County Attorney Fred Van Valkenburg denied the accusations in an email to Mother Jones Saturday, claiming that “everything the DOJ is saying about our office is false” and that “these people” are pushing a “political agenda” in their investigation. Van Valkenberg also claimed that the DOJ had made “no effort whatsoever” to inform him that the report was about to be released. A DOJ spokeswoman told the magazine that the department had attempted “more than a half-dozen times over the past 21 months” to reach an “amicable resolution” with the Missoula County Attorney’s Office, but that’s different from telling Van Valkenburg that they were going to release a report about all that, now isn’t it? Read more on Missoula, Montana, Prosecutors Have A Way Of Shutting Rape Victims Down…
  mean old cracker says what?

Racist Yellowstone County Treasurer Wants Gubmint To Pay Him Year’s Salary For His Awesome Racism

Here is a fun tale about a mean old racist man who loves to work for the county for a cool almost hundred large, and who is also obviously a Republican because a) racist and b) hypocrite and c) “small government no taxes” we are gonna just assume while he has also been feeding at the government trough since 1969 … and oh, what is this? He got busted using government email to sexplain that the reason we keep getting stuck with that ol’ tyrant Nobama is because o’ all the queers and n-words? He seems awesome. BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE! And that “more” is that sure he will resign, and all he asks in return is a little bitty teeny tiny year’s pay of $90 thousand, to make up for all the “censuring” of his racism. Read more on Racist Yellowstone County Treasurer Wants Gubmint To Pay Him Year’s Salary For His Awesome Racism…
  This is why we can't have nice things part eleventeen trazillion

Feminists Hysterical

Why are the feminazis burning their bras and refusing to shave their pits today? Oh, just the usual: A judge’s conclusion that a 14-year-old Billings rape victim was “as much in control of the situation” as her schoolteacher rapist has sparked outrage across the nation. Organizers have scheduled a Thursday rally and a petition drive against District Judge G. Todd Baugh, who Monday handed down a net sentence of 30 days in jail to former Senior High teacher Stacey Rambold, 54, who raped 14-year-old Cherice Moralez. […] Under state law, children younger than 16 cannot consent to sexual intercourse, which makes Rambold’s crime felony rape. However, when issuing the sentence Baugh said Moralez not only had equal control of the rape, but was also a troubled youth “older than her chronological age.” Oh. Yup, just the usual letting a rapist get off (er, walk away) with a mere tsk-tsk because the “child” — who was pretty slutty for her age, so come on it’s not like she was really a child — could have stopped it if she really wanted to. Besides, it’s not like this was the real kind of rape. The judge said so: Read more on Feminists Hysterical…
  a real comer

Montana Legislator Dave Hagstrom Makes Run At Title With Homophobe/Die-Poors One-Two Punch

Ladies and gentlemen, do we have a new contender? Is Montana Rep. Dave Hagstrom here to take home the whole shebang with his one-two knockout punch? First Hagstrom wrote a fairly hilarious letter to all his tenants explaining that they were just going to have to die young for the good of the nation — before it was revealed that when it comes to federal moneys and his rentier lifestyle, a river runs through it. And then Montana Cowgirl gifted us with this video, above, where Hagstrom explains how gay penises should retract like ball point pens, because of how they are not “normative.” Aw man, next we are going to be hearing about Foucault and cis-privilege and hegemony and stuff, like we never escaped from grad school at all. Read more on Montana Legislator Dave Hagstrom Makes Run At Title With Homophobe/Die-Poors One-Two Punch…
  idiots are people too my friend

Montana: Your Paradise of Corporation-Voting and Roadkill-Eating Awaits

Ohey Montana. What have you been up to? State stuff? Red state stuff? Cool stuff like fapping over how you’d enforce the law by killing federal law enforcement officials? No? Something newer? Cooler? Something that pretty much destroys the concept of residency and voting as we know it? Something about giving corporations a vote in Montana elections because hey, what could go wrong? Bring it on home, Montana! Read more on Montana: Your Paradise of Corporation-Voting and Roadkill-Eating Awaits…