Tag: montana

Let’s Meet The Sexy Montana Navy SEAL Stud Who Will Obviously Be Next House Speaker!

When I first met Wonkette in person, at the 2012 Republican National Convention, she was drunkenly helping me post an exclusive about an unhinged Obama-bashing ad (focused laser-like on Obama's destructive surrender-bowing tendencies), which I had just obtained from...
PEW! PEW! PEW!

‘Oath Keepers’ Militia Will Protect Kim Davis From Jackbooted Homosexual G-Men

Those Oath Keepers boys sure do get around! (Like, in a traveling way, not in a "WHAT SLUTS!" way, but some of them are probably sluts, you don't know.) Just last month, members of the paramilitary anti-government group were...

I Got Kicked Out Of The Militia’s Motel Room

Lincoln, Montana, is barely a town, although it does have several bar-casinos, at least three motels, and the Sleepy Hollow RV camp (trailer park) where we pulled up in the rain. The Unabomber lived a few miles outside town...
This stuff is pretty good, actually. Made in Park City, Utah.

Sincerely Held Belief In Publicity Inspires Reality TV Polygamists To Apply For Marriage License

In a move calculated to make every fundagelical family-values type scream "We told you so!" a polygamous Montana guy has applied for a license to marry his second wife, so that she can be just as legally married to...
Also paid no boat license fee

Very Sane Montana Republican Will Let You Retire At 600, Maybe

In Montanastan, there's this rich techie guy, Greg Gianforte, a Republican who's giving some thought to running for governor in 2016, just like every other successful business guy who's ever thought that running a state is exactly like running...
Sorry you just broke your monitor because this picture gave you such a boner.

Fox News Affiliate Will Protect You From Picasso’s Fancy Sex Nipples

Don't you hate it when you're watching the evening news with your mom and they say "BREAKING!" and it's a story about how a Picasso sold for $179M at Christie's auction, so you freak out because you just know...
Ooh nice squad car, where'd ya get it???

Hurray, Montana Says Cops Can’t Steal All Your Sh*t And Sell It For Cash Anymore!

Civil asset forfeiture laws around the country are fucking terrible. You know, those laws that say the cops can take your car, your money, and anything else you own, just because they THINK it might could have been used...
Morans

Moocher Red States Still Don’t Want Free Healthcare Money With Obama’s Name On It

While more than half of our American U.S. states are proficient enough at math to conclude that free dollars from the federal government to expand healthcare access to low-income citizens is a really good deal, some Republicans who are...
Bestest judge EVER!

Montana Lawyers Honor Judge Who Said Slutty Teen Rape Victim Was Asking For It, Just Because

You would think, after the Montana Supreme Court censured and suspended District Judge G. Todd Baugh for issuing one of the most despicable orders to a convicted rapist ever, that would be the last we'd hear about Judge Baugh....
Helpful hints

Religious-Freedom-Curious States Maybe Rethinking That Now, Whoops

  It's not all bad news on the Religious Freedom front! Yes, Indiana is suffering under the weight of a dumb governor who signed a "religious freedom" bill explicitly designed so that the put-upon wingnuts of the state don't ever...
try not to be pregnant in Montana

Montana Invents Fun Science Experiments To Do On Ladies Who Want Legal Abortions

Pretend you're a state legislature, and you really REALLY want to make it so ladies don't do abortions, even though that is a thing that is still legal in U.S. Jesus America. You have lots of options! You could try to ban all...
Screw you, huddled masses.

Judge To Obama: Stop Letting In All Those Immigrants Who Are Already Here!

Wednesday was supposed to be the day President Obama officially rolled out the Kenyan welcome mat for all them illegals who've already snuck across our border to infect us with diseases and their strange foreign languages. But oh no,...
this is not a tip

Hotel Finds Free Money, It Is Employees’ Tips!

Are you planning to host a banquet soon, like a wedding or maybe a measles party? Haha, of course you're not hosting a measles party, because no one is doing that, dummy. But suppose you're having one of those...

How All Your Favorite Liberal Blogs Muffed The Yoga Pants Bill (Which Does Not Exist)

Two mornings ago, our husband flagged for us a silly story about some dumb Montana derp farmer trying to outlaw "simulated" nudity. He flagged this story for one reason only: WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO THE TRUCKNUTZ??? "Haha, poor TruckNutz,"...
Just having some naked fun is all

Montana Would Like To Not See Your Naked Bits, Please

Where does it say you can't ride your bike naked through the streets of Missoula, Montana, on a warm summer day, huh? Nowhere, that's where! Which is why there was absolutely nothing wrong with the "Bare As You Dare" bike...
It's a mobile command center

Montana Police Ask Homeland Security For Help Spying On Hippie Terrorists

Police in Missoula, Montana, are requesting a quarter-million dollar grant from the Department of Homeland Security so they can buy a "mobile command unit" -- an RV fitted out with communications equipment and computers and stuff -- that will...