We will be back tonight to provide more blog laffs as we cover the Montana and South Dakota primaries, the final two in this Historic Election between an Historic Black Person and an Historic Woman. Until then, check out the latest gossip and “news” surrounding this End of this Historic Primary Election in History, after the Historic Jump. MORE »

Tonight, beloved Wonkette readers, we shall gather for one last (?) primary contest before Cheney attacks Iran and ends this campaign for good. Join us for the liveblogging, beginning at about 8:30 p.m. Eastern, which is 7:30 p.m. Central (for most of South Dakota) and 6:30 p.m. Mountain Time (for “Western South Dakota”) and also 6:30 p.m. Montana Time (Montana=Mountain) and, who knows, probably 5:15 p.m. Pacific Time. As always, makes sure to stop at the liquor/gun store on the way home for some bitter booze & ammo. Please leave predictions — and graphical-theme ideas for tonight — in the comments.

Yesterday, Barack Obama visited Montana’s Crow Nation of Native Americans, or as the Republicans call them, “Mexicans.” He spoke to about 4,000 folks, and this happened: “When he took the stage, Obama announced he was proud to have been adopted — in Crow tradition — by the Black Eagle family. And he was also given a Crow name, which translates as ‘That Person Who Goes Throughout Our Land And Tries To Help People…’” Sounds like the name-inventor is some kinda liberal. It was all Hopeful and shit for a while… until they cursed Obama, with their spells. MORE »

There are two people, total, in Montana: the governor and some high school kid. The latter goes by Jeff Greenwood, and on Friday, he was the only student to graduate from Opheim High School. The governor of Montana, Brian Schweitzer, gave the commencement address to this one student. Creepy. [AP]

UNCONTROLLABLE SUPERDELEGATE RETRACTS OBAMA ENDORSEMENT: Montana superdelegate Margaret Campbell, the vice chairwoman of the state party, “says she is being forced to retract her endorsement of Barack Obama” that she made earlier today. Because to endorse would be against some rule! Campbell says “Montana Democratic Party rules prevented her from endorsing a candidate in a contested primary.” Tsk tsk. How soon can Barry get a bus over there for a little throw-under action? [AP/Montana's News Station (Because they only have one ha ha! - Ed.)]

Barack Obama alienated the entire town of Butte, Montana when he refused a shoe-shine from a local hero there. The craven elitist was on some sort of campaign stop at the M&M Bar and Cafe when Stevie Faulkner, who is as close to a celebrity as there is in Butte, said, “Can I give you a shine?” Obama said no, of course, because he is an abstemious prick. MORE »

Live in Montana, Idaho or Utah? You’re in luck (except for the “live in Montana, Idaho, or Utah” bit)! MORE »

How do you top the most graceless political loss in recent history? If you’re Crazy Conrad Burns, you emerge in Washington a week later muttering nonsense, making weird threats to Robert Byrd, yelling at reporters and chasing your soon-to-be unemployed staffers up the Capitol Dome like some Phantom of the Opera in an ill-fitting cowboy hat. MORE »

Conrad Burns, enemy of firefighters and last, best hope for continued racist crazy ranting in the US Senate, has finally conceded, beating George Allen to the reality-facing punch officially, but without a public appearance. No, instead, he’s getting his gun and going out after “game.” MORE »

• Bush unafraid to reveal his manipulation tactics to reporters, they’re slower on the uptake than terrorists. [The Carpetbagger Report]

• When Nancy Pelosi says “civility and bipartisanship,” she means “get medieval on your ass.” [Whiskey Bar]
• Libertarians are kingmakers in Montana, still paupers everywhere else. [The Volokh Conspiracy]
• Fox News blurb-writing done by either a Murdoch or a 7th grader. [Think Progress]
• Massive election gains by Democrats were not by accident, not a result of your favorite conspiracy theories. [Unclaimed Territory]
• Timing of Rumsfeld ouster irks right-side bloggers and GOP candidates that could’ve benefited from that shit happening two months ago. [Captain's Quarters]
• Republicans to pressure George Allen to concede, as they can’t stand his mouth either. [Hotline on Call]
• Jim Webb announces his transition team, for spite. [MoJo Blog]
• Rumsfeld had offered to peace before, but yesterday’s events made it inevitable. [Gawker]
• Ok, maybe the comedians didn’t quite have the Rummy rumor first. But they were close. [theGarance]

Jon Tester just declared victory on the teevee, cooly noting that the candidate who gets the most votes usually wins. MORE »