Welcome to another edition of Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we scrape the dumbest possible news leftovers off our overheated browser tabs, blend them into an almost-digestible slurry, and serve them up to you with a muffin and a warning to imbibe heavily. Our Prime Derp this week is actually not so much the […]

Direct from the land of “wait, what?” we bring you news of this year’s commencement speaker at Montana Tech, Montana’s mining and engineering college. This is not, of course, the kind of thing we’d usually cover, except for the part where the commencement speaker is a billionaire young earth creationist, which is sort of an […]

TRIGGER WARNING: It appears that several states are following the law as laid out in the new farm bill to… wait for it… help poor people eat!!!!1!1! Oh, the humanity! Are you outraged? Are you clutching your pearls while your panties bunch themselves in a wad? We should have warned for earmuffs for all children, […]

You know what it means when we break out the Emergency Kittens, folks. This time around, they are there to help you get through your rage while you read this Mother Jones story about the Department of Justice’s probe of the Missoula, Montana, County Attorney’s Office, which found that when prosecutors bothered to pursue sexual […]

Here is a fun tale about a mean old racist man who loves to work for the county for a cool almost hundred large, and who is also obviously a Republican because a) racist and b) hypocrite and c) “small government no taxes” we are gonna just assume while he has also been feeding at […]

Why are the feminazis burning their bras and refusing to shave their pits today? Oh, just the usual: A judge’s conclusion that a 14-year-old Billings rape victim was “as much in control of the situation” as her schoolteacher rapist has sparked outrage across the nation. Organizers have scheduled a Thursday rally and a petition drive […]

Ladies and gentlemen, do we have a new contender? Is Montana Rep. Dave Hagstrom here to take home the whole shebang with his one-two knockout punch? First Hagstrom wrote a fairly hilarious letter to all his tenants explaining that they were just going to have to die young for the good of the nation — […]

Ohey Montana. What have you been up to? State stuff? Red state stuff? Cool stuff like fapping over how you’d enforce the law by killing federal law enforcement officials? No? Something newer? Cooler? Something that pretty much destroys the concept of residency and voting as we know it? Something about giving corporations a vote in Montana […]

When you’re layin’ in bed at night, getting ready to drift off to sleep, do you fantasize about how you would totally have stopped Waco and reasoned with David Koresh? Sure you do! Do you also fap to the idea that those dirty varmint federales shouldn’t come around because you’ve got a sheriff and that’s […]

Good news everyone! Our benevolent corporate overlords are here to stay and it’s full steam ahead for the New American Plutocracy! USA! USA! USA! The Supreme Court on Monday turned away a plea to revisit its 2-year-old campaign finance decision in the Citizens United case and instead struck down a Montana law limiting corporate campaign […]

Right, so every blog in blogland is very upset by the poor taste shown by person or persons unknown at the Montana Republican Convention, where was found a mysterious outhouse marked “Obama Presidential Library,” and it had bullet holes and a birth certificate and the vulgar swear “bullshit” and “for a good time call Pelosi.” […]

HOT NEWS, HOT NEWS! The Supreme Court is hearing a Montana case with direct bearing on its infamous decision in Citizens United, which may have done more to scar the Court’s reputation than anything besides Bush v. Play-Acting Dilettante. Their biggest detractor? “Straight-Talk” John McCain, just cold threatening the Supreme Court’s lives and such, with […]

Who’s the man who offered to help get Khadafi out of Libya for a cool $10 mill? Neil Livingstone! Who’s the cat on a yacht full of pussy-for-hire? Neil Livingstone! Who fled from Argentine Nazis, ate borscht with Russian mafia, and was “wrongly subpoenaed for gun running and involvement in the Iran-Contra affair”? Neil Livingstone. […]

The top federal judge in Montana simply does not care for America’s federal president, Barack Obama. That’s why he had no choice but to send a racist email that suggests Barack Obama is black because his white mother was impregnated by a … dog. A black dog, we guess? “The only reason I can explain […]

“Fourteen years ago the Montana Supreme Court ruled that a state law criminalizing gay sex violates Montana’s constitution, yet the Montana Legislature has repeatedly failed to scrub the language, which places homosexuality in the same legal category as bestiality, from the books.” Too busy trying to legalize drunk driving? No, Montana’s legislators just hate gay […]