Tag: montana

Wonkagenda: Monday, October 3, 2016

You get in here and read your news brief, RIGHT NOW!

Newest Punchy-Face Man Explains Only Rich People Like Him Won’t Ruin The Country

Here is a charming young man for you to meet! His name is Robert Saunders, he is 27 years old, and he is running for state rep. in Billings, Montana! Not much harm he can do there, right? That...
Just what we need: Dudebro fascists

Cuddly, Fresh-Faced White Supremacist Will Make Montana Great Again, Yes Siree

Oh great, now we've got millennial white supremacists. And in Montana, one's going to be an actual Republican nominee for the state legislature.

Surprise! Banning Tipping Doesn’t Work. Could There Be Another Solution Entirely?

Remember how restaurants have seemed to be steadily moving towards banning tipping? Yeah, not so fast on that one. Back in November 2015, Joe's Crab Shack announced it was going to be testing out a no-tipping model at 18 select...

Montana School Gets Black Student, Morons Get Racist, School Bans Confederate Flags

A high school in the tiny Montana town of Livingston (population 7,044) has banned the Confederate flag from school property after the school enrolled its one and only black student. Get ready for the predictable shitstorm of butthurt neo-Confederate...

Derp Roundup: Andrea Tantaros Does Bondage!

Time for another quick check-in with stories what were clogging up our browser tabs all week but we couldn't quite bring ourselves to do a full post on, but which were too wonderfully stoopit to ignore altogether. Also a...

Trump Advisor Worried Native Americans Might Get The Bomb And Nuke Montana

Here's your Conspiracy Theory o' the Day (or part of the day, considering how quickly these things are generated): One of Donald Trump's top foreign policy advisors, Joseph Schmitz, a lawyer and former inspector general at the Pentagon,...
Just gonna put this here one more time.

Michigan Lawmakers Tried To Solve Flint Water Crisis By Banning Buttsex

You might not think of Michigan as being in the running for finding the gays the ickiest, but it's right up there with somewhere like West Virginia or Oklahoma or Kentucky. Thinking about the gays just makes the Michigan state...
Yeah yeah yeah, Brokeback was set in Wyoming, WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE?

Montana Governor Givin’ Special Rights To Them Brokeback Mountain Types Now

Seems like not a day goes by lately where some unelected lawyer in a robe or elected politician wearing pants of some sort doesn't declare war on Jesus and Christmas and good Christian common sense by forcing the gay...

Let’s Meet The Sexy Montana Navy SEAL Stud Who Will Obviously Be Next House Speaker!

When I first met Wonkette in person, at the 2012 Republican National Convention, she was drunkenly helping me post an exclusive about an unhinged Obama-bashing ad (focused laser-like on Obama's destructive surrender-bowing tendencies), which I had just obtained from...
PEW! PEW! PEW!

‘Oath Keepers’ Militia Will Protect Kim Davis From Jackbooted Homosexual G-Men

Those Oath Keepers boys sure do get around! (Like, in a traveling way, not in a "WHAT SLUTS!" way, but some of them are probably sluts, you don't know.) Just last month, members of the paramilitary anti-government group were...

I Got Kicked Out Of The Militia’s Motel Room

Lincoln, Montana, is barely a town, although it does have several bar-casinos, at least three motels, and the Sleepy Hollow RV camp (trailer park) where we pulled up in the rain. The Unabomber lived a few miles outside town...
This stuff is pretty good, actually. Made in Park City, Utah.

Sincerely Held Belief In Publicity Inspires Reality TV Polygamists To Apply For Marriage License

In a move calculated to make every fundagelical family-values type scream "We told you so!" a polygamous Montana guy has applied for a license to marry his second wife, so that she can be just as legally married to...
Also paid no boat license fee

Very Sane Montana Republican Will Let You Retire At 600, Maybe

In Montanastan, there's this rich techie guy, Greg Gianforte, a Republican who's giving some thought to running for governor in 2016, just like every other successful business guy who's ever thought that running a state is exactly like running...
Sorry you just broke your monitor because this picture gave you such a boner.

Fox News Affiliate Will Protect You From Picasso’s Fancy Sex Nipples

Don't you hate it when you're watching the evening news with your mom and they say "BREAKING!" and it's a story about how a Picasso sold for $179M at Christie's auction, so you freak out because you just know...
Ooh nice squad car, where'd ya get it???

Hurray, Montana Says Cops Can’t Steal All Your Sh*t And Sell It For Cash Anymore!

Civil asset forfeiture laws around the country are fucking terrible. You know, those laws that say the cops can take your car, your money, and anything else you own, just because they THINK it might could have been used...