Tag: monsters

You call that an Iron Lady? THIS is an Iron Lady.

On Scale Of One To Margaret Thatcher, How Mean Is England’s New Lady Prime Minister?

Another reboot from the '80s happened this week, as Great Britain's ruling Conservative Party leadership fight appears to have been won by a lady! That is expected to make Theresa May, the current home secretary, Britain's first female prime minister since...
'Demographically inevitable'

Morning Maddow: Meet Michael Brown, Super-Predator (Video)

Back in 1995, John DiIulio, a conservative political scientist, published an incredibly influential article about the coming wave of "Super Predators," remorseless young crime machines bred of poverty, incarceration with adults, gang culture, and dysfunctional (blackblackblack) families "where unconditional...

Secret Liberal Rush Limbaugh Cleverly Kills Republican Party

Hilarious radio satirist Rush Limbaugh pulled his biggest prank on far-right AM radio listeners and the entire Republican Party last week, when he took the GOP fringe-right religious-fanatic attack on birth control and turned it into a full Republican...

Happy 107th Birthday, Zombie Ayn Rand!

We were skimming the FoxNews.com website looking for some of those "free Medicare scooter" ads, but got distracted by the important news of terrible writer/awful person Ayn Rand's 107th birthday. She doesn't look a day over 106 ... objectively....

World Eagerly Awaits Christmas Miracle of Dick Cheney’s Death

We don't believe in an interventionist god, so today's cheery eyewitness report of Dick Cheney being "enfeebled" at a death-war military contractor's holiday cocktail ritual does not make us believe we're all going to have a very merry Christmas....

Charity Offering Veterans Chance To Strangle Donald Rumsfeld

We usually click "delete all" on the marketing press releases that flood the Wonkette Tips Line each day, but this Veterans Day Charity Auction thing to help veterans mauled and disfigured by Donald Rumsfeld's murderous oil-company wars sounded kind...

Levi’s Sister Says Bristol Palin Was Part of Teen Sex Tent Party, With Levi

Are we still talking about the sex lives of former teenagers in Alaska during the Sexy Summer of '08? Well then, Levi Johnston's sister, Mercede Johnston, has a hot new blog review of Bristol's teen vampire fiction, Not Afraid...

Another Koch Brother Who Gets Richer Exploiting America’s Public Lands Buys Trinket For $2.3 Million

The Koch Brothers fund all these libertarian propaganda outlets to ensure they tear even more of the nation's wealth away from its lands and people, and like all evil dynasties their domestic lives are full of treachery and awfulness....

Michelle Obama Has Three Hands

Haha, oh Barack. How can you expect us to believe that your .pdf birth certificate is genuine? Your wife has three hands.

‘Maverick’ Gary Johnson Running In 2012, Will Kill Social Security & Medicare

Sexy Republican rebel and multi-millionaire Gary Johnson used to be governor of New Mexico and love marijuana and climbed past all those frozen dead bodies to reach Mt. Everest like many rich thrill-seekers have paid to do, and that's...

BP Resumes Drilling In the Gulf, Oil Rig Executives Receive ‘Safety Bonuses’

Let's begin with the "funny" news: Transocean awarded its top executives with six figure bonuses, because under their shining leadership the company experienced its "best year in safety performance." Yes, "safety bonuses" for the executives in charge of the...

Clarence Thomas Gladly Reads Amoral Decision Against Innocent Black Guy Who Spent 14 Years On Death Row

Fringe-right corporate lackey Clarence Thomas has famously kept his mouth shut during most of his 20 years on the Supreme Court, because how could anyone improve upon Antonin Scalia's insane bullshit? But on Tuesday, Clarence Thomas cheerfully took the...

Glenn Beck Glad Some Family’s House Burnt Down, Restores Honor and Hope

If you haven't heard the worst news of the week yet: Some Tennessee firemen sat around and watched as a family's house burned to a crisp, because somebody forgot to pay their $75 Fireman Subscription! Glenn Beck knows that...

Racist Monster Carl Paladino Almost Punches New York Reporter in the Face

Carl Paladino is not getting along with the newspapermen and women who comprise America's distinguished Press Corps. Why is this? Did these humorless reporters not enjoy the pictures of Barack Obama eating fried chicken-flavored watermelon, the ones Paladino forwarded...

At Bristol’s TV Dancing Taping, Sarah Palin Is Security’s ‘Higher Priority’

World's worst mom Sarah Palin is bringing her Hollywood Values to Hollywood tonight for a taping of Bristol Palin's new teen-pregnancy documentary, Dancing With the Stars. And security will be heavy, because come on, Sarah Palin is a celebrity....

Tea Party Guy Needs to Calm Down

LIBTARD MEDIA PEOPLE WHAZZZZUP!!!! This very enthusiastic salmon-colored shirt man is "John Villarreal," a GOP activist/consultant/ready-to-explode kinda type and talk show host for Modesto, California's KFIV AM. He talks like he is maybe/partly responsible somehow (?) for the sensational...