monica lewinsky

Hey, folks, are you ready to relive the 2000 election? As if some of us didn’t spend most of 2000 through 2008 doing that already? Go dimple your chads, because it’s time for some butterfly ballots, Christian-textbook style!

Here we are kids, at the lowest point* of the Clinton administration: the Lewinsky affair and impeachment. But how are textbooks for the fundamentalist Christian homeschool market supposed to approach the topic? On the one hand, there’s big Presidential Sin, but on the other, S-E-X. Not all that surprisingly, our middle-school textbook skirts the details, while […]

Pop quiz time! (If you need to review last week’s lesson, you may.) Here is an actual review question from our 8th-grade American History textbook from Christian publisher A Beka, America: Land I Love (2006): “What Communist leader toured America in 1990?” Now, you filthy liberals may think the correct answer would be Mikhail Gorbachev, […]

This weekend a scaly, horrifying, rage-addled lizard rose from the depths of its subterranean lair and slithered onto screens all over the country, where it opened its jaw and shrieked high-pitched noises at terrified Americans as it stomped its way across the land, leaving destruction in its wake. Yep, Dick Cheney was on Fox News […]

One specter that has always hovered over a Hillary Clinton campaign for president in 2016 is the possibility – the certainty – that all the old spirits of the 1990s will be conjured up and released into the world to wreak havoc and slime anyone in their way in the political equivalent of shutting down the containment […]

Heard any good jokes lately? No. No you haven’t. Because it has been twenty years-ish (?) since Peewee Herman got busted bustin’ in that porn theater, and I got busted … well you know. I am the last time a joke happened. That was me. Well, now I am back, to tell my story for […]

Today’s Times is lighter on coverage of the Michael Dunn trial than we had hoped. There’s only a dispassionate bit that so dryly recounts the inexplicable verdict — guilty on attempted murder charges of the kids he didn’t kill, but not guilty of murdering the one he did — it isn’t even worth quoting here. […]

So you know how President Obama called for a minimum wage of $10.10 in the State of the Union? Well, that is a great plan if you HATE THE POORS. But if you love the poor, if you have compassion in your heart and a soul full of goodness, then you know that best way […]

Sen. Rand Paul is just sick of the Democrats doing war on women by tolerating the continued existence of Bill Clinton, the sexual predator who had a consensual affair with a lady who worked for him (this is the only real instance of workplace sexual harassment in history, according to Republicans). And so he is […]

In case you missed it because you were sleeping off your Saturday hangover, or had something better to do like watching paint dry, Sen. Rand “Aqua Buddha” Paul mansplained, as only a Republican can, how there isn’t really a war on women, except there is, but Democrats started it. (Also, he’s rubber, you’re glue, and […]

Hey did you hear that New York’s mayor, Bill de Blasio, ate pizza with knife and fork, like a total schmegeggie? Well, NYT supercolumnist Maureen Dowd apparently wandered away from her twitter feed last week and forgot to refresh it, as she has Thoughts about pizza, and Bill Clinton getting a hummer from Monica Lewinsky, […]

In Wonket pal Larry Klayman’s latest column, “Obama’s Mein Kampf,” which is otherwise filled with his usual ramblings about how “the Muslim megalomaniac” Barack Obama is trying to put all the white people in prison to get reparations for the Negro Man — seriously, Larry Klayman writes about this pretty much every week — Klayman […]

In what ways does this “new sex tape of Monica Lewinsky” suck worse than a thing billed thus should suck? One, it’s not a videotape; it’s just Monica Lewinsky talking semi-dirty on an audio cassette or auto-electro-gramophone or enchanted sea shell, who knows, it’s not clear. Two, it doesn’t feature Bill Clinton, except as he’s […]

Since it’s obvious that all honorable and well-compensated jobs have disappeared into a puff of Internet ether, never to return, it’s important that every American turn any brush with fame, no matter now ridiculous or humiliating, into a round of talk show appearances that can in turn be leveraged into an “instant book” and a […]

Everyone knows that Chelsea Clinton is the world’s most boring human being — though she did grow up to be quite a fetching member of the female species, suck it Rush Limbaugh. She is even more boring than Luke Russert, and possibly has less-notable insights! But were you aware that the reason she is such […]