Wonkette

If you turn on the Internet and visit any of its websites, you’ll find some guy or gal’s analysis of the Pennsylvania primary results and the future of the election. While there only may be one or two ways to assess the question of “Does an ongoing primary hurt or help the Democrats?”, the Internet’s “Rule of 10 Million” means that there are somehow 10 or 20 million ways to assess it. We’d like to chip into the pot with three of our own, from readers. MORE »

Everyone should ask Chelsea Clinton about Monica Lewinsky at every possible opportunity. Chelsea is like 45 years old now — 24 years older than Monica Lewinsky will ever be! America’s favorite brace-face can handle it. [MSNBC]

The Blowjob Era has returned! Today, in response to the Obama campaign’s demand that the Clintons release their tax returns NOW, communications director Howard Wolfson called it a “Ken Starr” tactic. Ken Starr was a famous investigator douchebag from the 1990s, when Obama was on crack and Hillary was fixing Northern Ireland and children’s sicknesses, you see. MORE »

Wonkette operative Christine Longiaru (via Jessica Keltz) found this charming rural decoration while “traveling for work” in upstate New York. The most awesome thing about this anti-Hillary agricultural-simulacra tableau is that the guy finished it, stepped back, gave it a proud once-over, and went back into the house completely satisfied with his work.

Bill Clinton was just doing his normal snarling elect Hillary or die speech in South Carolina yesterday when an adorable 5-year-old child asked the famous adulterer about holy matrimony. MORE »

The “official” anniversary of the Lewinsky scandal is Jizzuary 17. But since the man who broke it, Matt Drudge, is already linking to a retrospective, we are forced as writers to follow his lead. After the jump, a celebration in time line form of the famous blowjob scandal. MORE »

Do you remember the swinging social scene of early-1960s Washington? So many parties with those fun-loving and oft-assassinated Kennedy boys! And then George W. Bush ruined it all when he was appointed president four decades later. That’s the gist of this six-hundred-page Vanity Fair recollection about the glamorous good old days of yesteryear, and it prompted one Washingtonian to pen the following recollection of the glamorous Clinton years.

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In a perhaps unsurprising showing of this country’s women’s double standards, a NY Daily News poll shows that most women think Judy Giuliani is a worse person (and less suited to be the spouse of the President) than Bill Clinton because she’s a “home-wrecker.” Notably, while Rudy was the married one in their affair that ended in marriage, Bill was the one stepping out on Hillary for BJs in the Oval Office from a woman he had no intention of leaving his wife for. But, whatever, it’s never the man’s fucking fault, right? They can’t control themselves when presented with a piece of ass. [NY Daily News]

Also, please don’t fuck him.

Earlier:: Win a Very Boring Date With Bill

Beloved international celebrity Monica Lewinsky turns 34 today. The former White House intern-turned-handbag designer stole America’s heart in 1998, when her love affair with President Clinton charmed the nation and taught us all that even in the cold domain of politics, there’s still room for good old-fashioned love. MORE »