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Tag: monica lewinsky

Donald Trump And Rudy Giuliani Playing ‘Adulterous Slut’ Card Against Hillary Clinton. Really.

Hey remember all those times Trump and Giuliani banged mistresses while they were married to other ladies?

Slate Pitch: Hillary Clinton Was Terrible In Last Night’s Debate, And JUST KIDDING!

Hillz whomped Trump in the first debate real good, yes she did!
awww

Hey, Gray Lady, Whatcha Thinkin’ About? ‘Oh, You Know, Clinton Stuff.’

The New York Times added another couple of items to its impressive Crapping on the Clintons archive.
The candy is my penis

Huzzah! Finally, A Nice Sleazeball Sex Scandal To Lighten Things Up, Whew!

Gosh, it seems like FOREVER since yr Wonkette has gotten to DC-gossip about some legislator getting his ween where it don't belong, so thanks, Tennessee! The Volunteer State served up a doozy of a point-and-laugh experience late last week, when...
History's Greatest Monster, 2016 Edition

Fox News SHOCKER: Hillary Clinton Beat Bill Like An Egg-Stealing Hound

Fox News, America's most reliable and trusted cable news outlet, has been muddling around for years now, trying to find some dirt on Hillary Clinton that will really stick. Benghazi, excuse us, BENGHAZHI!!1!, has turned out to be a bust. The...

Ken Starr Loves Bill Clinton Now, What Is Even Going On Here?

In other news, Starr is losing his position as president of Baylor University after covering up some rapes!

Pentagon Officially Sick Of Your Benghazi Sh*t

By now, we all know what happened that fateful night in Benghazi. Hillary Clinton made FOUR DEAD AMERICANS while she ate bon bons and phone-lesbianed Huma Abedin, because she was home alone THE WHOLE NIGHT that night. She also...

Donald Trump Sad He Can’t Play Fancy Woman Card™, Hypnotize Voters With His Vagina

'I think the only thing she has got going is she’s a woman,' Trump told Matt Lauer on the Today Show.

Tucker Carlson Sort Of Right About Thing Except Not Really

BREAKING NEWS because it doesn't happen often: Tucker Carlson, as you may have ascertained from the headline (because you are SMART is why) is sorta kinda a tiny bit correct about a thing! But not all the way, don't...
History's Greatest Monster, 2016 Edition

Somebody Finally Remembered To Accuse Hillary Of Murdering Scalia

Y'all, we were getting worried. Antonin Scalia's pillow murdered him to death on Saturday, and conspiracy theories have been raging ever since about how Barack Obama probably was the master of that pillow, killing Scalia in his sleep to...
Who ya got?

Feminist Hero Donald Trump Wishes Bill And Hillary Wouldn’t Be So Sexist To Ladies

There is so much sexism in America right now, and unfortunately it is all being done by Bill Clinton, and Hillary Clinton, and also Bill Clinton's 1990s penis. If that doesn't make sense to you, that's because you are...
Thinking face.

Donald Trump Says Bill Clinton Was Best, Classiest President Ever, Too Bad About Hillary’s Age

Donald Trump, who is so FOR REAL a serious contender for US American president in 2016, has a favorite president of his own, and it is Bill Clinton. WHAT? But we thought Trump was a super Republican, here to...
Be afraid. Very afraid.

It Is Time To Ban All The Men From Congress, Obviously

Men are kind of the worst,* as we all know. They are paid more money for the same job at . They are charged less for dry-cleaning. They do most of the murdering, raping, domestic violencing and other criming....
Delete your account, NYT

Andrea Mitchell Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

Have you heard the story about the president who got a blowjob from a lady who wasn't his wife? Sure you did. Because that blowjob would be old enough to drive a car by now, and lots of hack...

Sundays With The Christianists: American History Books With The Accuracy Of A Florida Election

Hey, folks, are you ready to relive the 2000 election? As if some of us didn't spend most of 2000 through 2008 doing that already? Go dimple your chads, because it's time for some butterfly ballots, Christian-textbook style! But first,...

Sundays With The Christianists: American History Textbooks That Are Close, But No Cigar

Here we are kids, at the lowest point* of the Clinton administration: the Lewinsky affair and impeachment. But how are textbooks for the fundamentalist Christian homeschool market supposed to approach the topic? On the one hand, there's big Presidential Sin,...