Well, people of Detroit, it appears you did not pray hard enough for Monica Conyers, and now she may have to go to jail for a while. The Detroit City Council President Pro Tem and completely insane violent creep Mrs. Conyers, wife of US Representative John Conyers, pleaded guilty to conspiracy this morning in connection with a glamorous case involving the disposal of sludge. She’s accused of taking a bribe from the sludge people in exchange for voting in favor of their contract. MORE »

Unbelievably batshit Detroit City Council member Monica Conyers, comparatively young wife of old Congressman John Conyers, may finally go to jail for being an insane, violent criminal. She “has received a pre-indictment letter from federal authorities who have given her until the end of today to reach a plea deal or they will proceed with possible criminal charges against her.” Conyers is famous for threatening people with guns, getting into a shouting match with the Council president — while in session — during which she called him “Shrek,” getting into another shouting match with another Council member during which she “made fun of his hearing, his lack of college degree and started rumors that he has cancer,” and most importantly, in one of the best YouTubes your editor can recall, losing a debate to an 8th grader and getting pissy about it. Will you pray for her today? MORE »

Things haven’t gotten much better since we last checked in on Kwame Kilpatrick, the comical mayor of Detroit and a leading contender for Barack Obama’s black vice presidency. You may recall that his “woes” include bangin’ his chief of staff — the gal he seduced by texting racy notes about “Benz Chili Bowl” — and then firing a bunch of officials who found out about the affair, which he denied doing last summer until, of course, THE TEXTS CAME OUT. He also held sexy stripper parties at his mayoral mansion. So he’s the best mayor of Detroit since Eminem, and he’s under indictment for everything, and yesterday he basically vetoed his own ouster.

The city council is trying to get rid of this clown however it can.

It will likely follow the obvious path, which is that the council president, a monster named Shrek, says “WE GON REMOVE KWAME” to his friend Donkey, who is Eddie Murphy in Furry get-up, and then Monica Conyers is the evil purple dragon, the end. Wait, what? Oh, right: the city council can begin removal proceedings at the discretion of the council president, and probably will.

The council did, however, vote to request that Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm use her magical girl powers to remove Kilpatrick from office — a largely “symbolic” measure. But Kwame is a Man’s Man and does not like symbolism, which is why he VETOED THE MEASURE yesterday in hilariously tyrannical fashion:

But Bill Goodman, the council’s attorney, said Kilpatrick’s veto will have no impact on the proceedings that could lead to Kilpatrick’s ouster. That’s because only one person’s written request — in this case from council President Ken Cockrel Jr., acting on behalf of the council — is needed to begin the process, Goodman said.

Goodman called the mayor’s logic “lunacy” because the charter prohibits a mayoral veto on quasi-judicial actions.

Kilpatrick will likely respond that the charter says nothing about “Kwame-judicial actions.”

Mayor Kilpatrick vetoes removal effort [Detroit Free Press]

You may recall how Monica Conyers, wife of ancient Congressman John Conyers and President Pro-Tem of the Detroit City Council, recently got into a comical shouting match with the Council President while in session and ultimately called him “Shrek,” as a pejorative. In this video, the Detroit News brings a group of schoolchildren into the Council chamber to ask Conyers about her behavior, and it devolves into a heated debate in which an 8th grader completely destroys Conyers. You will not regret watching the whole clip. [YouTube]

Check out the video here of Congressman John Conyers’ wife, Monica Conyers — President Pro-Tem of the Detroit City Council — getting very mad and shouting with the Council President while in session. Our tipster writes that she is “a bazillion years younger than husband John Conyers, and completely insane.” What a catch! [Click On Detroit]

The wife of Democratic Representative John Conyers is reported to have been involved in a bar fight. MORE »