Tag: money laundering

Tom DeLay Can’t Wait To Conceal His Weapon Again, For Old Times’ Sake

You've probably seen those heartwarming videos of soldiers being reunited with their dogs after a long deployment -- the surprise, the moment of recognition, the hug, the tears of joy, the happy tail-wagging. We'd like to imagine that a...

Bummed About Your 15 Percent Tax Rate, Job Creators? Have You Considered Paying ‘Zero’ Instead?

It is with a heavy heart that we inform you that we have not significantly appeased our lords and masters the job creators and so they have taken to laundering their money, investing their money speech in offshore tax...

Fish Union Unamused By Radioactive Sushi, Demands Compensation

A trade group representing Japanese fishermen (see: scummy fish union) has called TEPCO -- the company that owns the nuclear power plant that is currently exploding -- incompetent and "unforgivable." Specifically, the group is less than thrilled about Tokyo...

Tom DeLay Sentenced To Three Years In Prison With Himself

Texas judge Pat Priest sentenced DeLay to three years on a conspiracy charge and also sentenced him to five years in prison for money laundering. Priest, however, allowed DeLay to accept 10 years probation on the money laundering charge,...

Tom DeLay Finally Found Guilty of Being Tom DeLay

A jury in Texas (a pile of guns behind the prosecutin' headquarters) has found Tom Guilty delay of conspiracy and money laundering. Sorry, has found Tom DeLay guilty of conspiracy and money laundering. So even though a few months...