Tag: money

Rep. Steve King Will Stop Lady-Hating Racists From Putting Harriet Tubman On $20

Rep. Steve King is just not ready for this kind of change.

The Snake Oil Bulletin: Why Did Jesus Send Us To Collections, Mommy?

Welcome back, sinners. It's time once again for the Snake Oil Bulletin! We would like to take this time to remind our readers that unless you've paid your monthly $7.99 readers' fee, in addition to keeping up on your...
I laugh at you idiots! So much!

Sass-Mouth Barack Obama Sasses The Republicans, Sassily. Your Weekly Top Ten.

Hey Wonkers! It is Sunday, and whew, what a week we had! Your Wonkette got lost (broken because bad server was bad), but then was found (fixed with a shiny new server!), was blind but now it sees! And...
Daughter prays as Father stews over gay homosexuals pulling the pizza from his cold dead hands.

Pizza Bigots Sharing Dough With Florist Bigot, Like Good Gay-Hating Jesus Would Do

The Deliverance cast members who own that Indiana fag-hatin' pizza hole called Memories raised over $840,000 in bigot money on GoFundMe, for taking the bold stand that, were a gay or lesbian couple to visit them and say "please, our...

Stephen Colbert Has A Few Words For This Marxist Pope Guy (Video)

Stephen Colbert is torn, poor fellow. On the one hand, he says, he is "America's most prominent Catholic." Then again, he is also "America's foremost capitalist. I love the invisible hand of the market so much I let it...

Pat Robertson Puts The ‘Jew’ In ‘Jeweler’

Pat Robertson just enjoys being Pat Robertson, and he doesn't care who knows it. And by golly, he sure does admire how people of the Hebrew persuasion are so darn good at making money -- it really is something...

Summers Vs. Warren Banking Committee Cage Match Canceled As Larry Summers Craps Out

Unloved money brute Lawrence "Larry" Summers will not be your new Ben Bernanke after withdrawing his name from consideration for Federal Reserve Chairman on Sunday. Mainly this is because humans are hard-wired to distrust men named Larry, but there...

Student Loan Bill Lubes Up At Least Before Screwing Students

Surely you Wonketteers have heard the librul media and members of Congress crowing about the new student loan bill, which is apparently not only a great deal for students but is also significant because it demonstrates that Congress is...

John McCain Promises Huge Tip For Strippers

Sen. John McCain would just like to reassure strippers across this great nation that they have nothing to fear from the bill he's supporting that would phase out $1 bills and replace them with dollar coins, because maybe instead...

Justice Department Now Paying Experienced Lawyers With Exposure Bucks, Whore Diamonds

What a tempting offer for our nation's cadre of experienced lawyers: work for the Justice Department, reviewing applications for wiretaps in major federal criminal investigations. Probably this is pretty easy, given (as we've recently learned) that there is no...

American Babies Cost Three Times as Much as European Babies, For Freedom

Baby-having time is a time of mixed emotions for most families. This is because they are excited about becoming parents (or becoming parents again, as the case may be), worried about preparing in time for the baby (or babies)...

Screw It, We Are Just Hiring Everyone Now

Are you a writer what got no job? Then you will not want to read the following, in which we hire ANOTHER person, as it will probably make you want to eat your own liver. And livers are not...

Sponsored! This Proud Dad Paid Us Sweet Cash Money To Listen To His Son’s Awesome Album For Nerds!

This is not a music blog! This is a mommyblog recipe-hub sci-blog literary salon #WARBLOG! What are we even doing writing about music? WE KNOW NOTHING OF MUSIC! Well tell it to Greil Marcus, who once said we were...

Iraq War Totally Worth Its New Six-Trillion-Dollar Price Tag

Good news everyone! We have received an invoice for the Iraq war and it is only going to cost us around $6 trillion American dollars. Now, this may SOUND like a high price tag, but let's keep it in...

Here, Let the Atlantic Explain At You About Why They Do Not Pay People For Their Work

Ha! Ha! Ha! Here, let us enjoy this fun exchange between a freelance journalist and a representative of the Atlantic, wherein Global Editor Olga Khazan asks a freelance journalist if he would mind, you know, giving her a thousand...