Tag Archives: mommyblogging

  Duckworth Dynasty

Congratulations, Tammy Duckworth! You Know How Babby Is Formed!

From Joanie: Cartoons for New Children, by G.B. Trudeau. Sheed and Ward, 1974. (VERY 1974) Big congratulations to Rep. Tammy Duckworth of Illinois, and her husband, Bryan Bowlsbey, on the birth of their daughter, Abigail O’kalani Bowlsbey. The young’un was born on Tuesday, but her arrival was just announced this morning. In a statement, Duckworth said: Read more on Congratulations, Tammy Duckworth! You Know How Babby Is Formed!…
  how is babby formed?

Middle-Aged Wonkette Owner Knocked Up By Stud Underling, Pix Or GTFO

Hi there! Whatcha doing? Being pregnant? WELL I AM. Here is everything you could possibly want to know, and then more stuff you don’t! Who’s the daddy? Who’s YOUR daddy? Just kidding, your daddy is me. My baby’s daddy is Shypixel, who does the web work for this here mommyblogging establishment and recipe hub. Read more on Middle-Aged Wonkette Owner Knocked Up By Stud Underling, Pix Or GTFO…
  Enhanced Parenting Techniques

Heartwarming Viral Video Presents Motherhood As CIA Torture. Yay Moms.

Have you seen that ADORABLE ad, about how moms are unpaid slaves and what kind of idiot would take a job as one? Here, watch all 14 hours because apparently Ghost Andy Warhol is making greeting card viral videos now. (My mom: “I watched ‘Empire’ in the theater. It was WONDERFUL.” My mom is a liar.) Read more on Heartwarming Viral Video Presents Motherhood As CIA Torture. Yay Moms….
  recipe hub also too

Jenna ‘The Drunk One’ Bush Hager Goes Mommyblogging

Hey y’all! Remember Jenna “The Drunk One” Bush? That cowgirl was a pile of good times, yeehaw! Well, she went and got married? And worked for the Peace Corps or something if we remember right we are not looking it up? And then she got a job as a “correspondent” on the Today show because fuck it, she can’t be worse than Chelsea Clinton or Luke Russert. Well, Jenna Bush Hager had a little babby and took some maternity leave, and then she came back from maternity leave and wrote a mommyblog about it! And guess what! George W. Bush is a human-shaped monster. Read more on Jenna ‘The Drunk One’ Bush Hager Goes Mommyblogging…
  racial transcendence

Poor Crackers Over At Stormfront Reduced To Lowly Pledge Drive/Mommyblogging In Effort To Keep Hate Alive

It’s hard out there these days for America’s once proud population of deranged racists. They made the mistake of getting their hopes up that the nice Mormon fellow might finally boot the “boy” out of the White House, only to be miserably crushed by the combined forces of New Black Panther Party and Nate Silver with his gay jewish wizardry. Now this once proud group of lunatics is reduced to watching traditional homesteads of white intransigence¬†like the city of Memphis desecrate the memorials of great Klansman like Nathan Bedford Forrest, or professional Wrestling premiere their new Tea Party villain character. To make matters worse it now looks like the once formidable clearinghouse of assholes known as Stormfront.org is suffering from a cash crunch. Apparently the vanguard of White Nationalism and Aryan Supremacy is being laid to waste by the tyrannical Jewish Conspiracy of decreased server capacity. (WARNING: unless otherwise specified all subsequent links are to a fucking White Power website, so click wisely.) Here is Stormfront founder Don Black channeling NPR in asking for help: Read more on Poor Crackers Over At Stormfront Reduced To Lowly Pledge Drive/Mommyblogging In Effort To Keep Hate Alive…
  happy accidents

Tea Party: We Put Karl Rove In That Nazi Uniform *By Accident*

Hey there fellow mommybloggers! Remember that time your DC (DARLING CHILD, IDIOTS) had a slumber party and you let them stay up and gallivant about until finally, at four in the morning, you busted into their room screaming like a crack mom to SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP because they were fighting and yelling like cats in heat? And when you got in there, they all had their pajama shirts off and their little bodies were glistening with spit? And you yelled YOU BETTER NOT BE DOING SEX STUFF IN HERE, and they said “We’re not doing sex stuff! We’re just having spit fights!” And then they all explained that the spit fight had started BY ACCIDENT because they had all punched each other in the head BY ACCIDENT? Well, that is exactly how some dumb Tea Party group sent out an email featuring Karl Rove in a Nazi uniform. BY ACCIDENT!!! Read more on Tea Party: We Put Karl Rove In That Nazi Uniform *By Accident*…
  free to be me and me

Fox ‘Doctor’ Keith Ablow: Screw You Marlo Thomas, William Doesn’t Get A Doll

Here is Dr. Keith Ablow, on Fox & Friends, blowing a Bill O’Reilly-like gasket at the state of the world today, as evidenced by — you may want to escort all children and pregnant women from the room — a mom buying a doll for her son. OH SHIT! GENDER-QUEERS! Now all boys are gonna be like Jenna’s boyfriend on 30 Rock, dressing up as Half-Cher! Read more on Fox ‘Doctor’ Keith Ablow: Screw You Marlo Thomas, William Doesn’t Get A Doll…