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Tag: mommyblogging

Wotta wimp

Donald Trump’s Child-Leave Plan Only For Mommies, Because What Kind Of Pussyman Changes Diapers?

Donald Trump has the best maternity leave program of either candidate. It's true -- because Clinton's plan isn't limited to just mothers.
Don't try this at home.

How Donald Trump’s Sociopathic Parenting Made Donald Trump Jr. The Winner He Is Today

Donald Trump Jr explains where he got his lovable Patrick Bateman personality.

Tony The Millennial Douche Has Life By The Balls And He Is Going To Squeeze!

Tony, he's this guy. Sure, you may think he's just some bro asshole douche man who at 31 lives with his parents so he can spend his $130k salary (lol, Canadian) on bottle service and trying to recreate the...

All The Woodland Creatures Flock To Bernie Sanders

What's this Birdie Sanders thing, I asked myself on rising. I will Google Birdie Sanders and see what it is, and then maybe I will "write" a dumb post on it because Dok is out today and I am...

So I Married A Commenter

Before I met my husband, I was offering him beej's in the secret Wonkette chatcave. It could have turned out badly -- actionably so! -- but he responded with enthusiasm and aw-shucks delight. Before that, I had hired him...
Sex bus.

Josh Duggar Can’t Read This Post Because He’s In Jesus Jail. Your Weekly Top Ten.

Hey Wonkers, how is your Sunday? Just kidding, don't care, let's talk about ourselves. So last week there was, yet again, horrible, unspeakable tragedy, as two journalists were killed on air by a gunman with, surprise, a gun, and...
Coming soon to a town near you, but Sarah Palin won't be there. OR WILL SHE?

Just Biding Our Time Until We Find Josh Duggar’s Grindr At This Point. Your Weekly Top Ten.

Hey Wonkers! We had a big week! Did YOU have a big week in your job? Just kidding, this post is not about you. Did you hear the big news about how Editrix Becca invested in a Winnebago for the...

Hi, Let’s Talk About My Hemorrhoids! By Me, Rebecca Schoenkopf!

If you are related to me by marriage, stop reading this immediately. If you are related to me by blood or not at all, pull up a pillow, we are going to be talking about my seven-months-pregnant, thrombosed-hemorrhoidal, still...

Congratulations, Tammy Duckworth! You Know How Babby Is Formed!

Big congratulations to Rep. Tammy Duckworth of Illinois, and her husband, Bryan Bowlsbey, on the birth of their daughter, Abigail O'kalani Bowlsbey. The young'un was born on Tuesday, but her arrival was just announced this morning. In a statement,...

Middle-Aged Wonkette Owner Knocked Up By Stud Underling, Pix Or GTFO

Hi there! Whatcha doing? Being pregnant? WELL I AM. Here is everything you could possibly want to know, and then more stuff you don't! Who's the daddy? Who's YOUR daddy? Just kidding, your daddy is me. My baby's daddy is Shypixel,...

Heartwarming Viral Video Presents Motherhood As CIA Torture. Yay Moms.

Have you seen that ADORABLE ad, about how moms are unpaid slaves and what kind of idiot would take a job as one? Here, watch all 14 hours because apparently Ghost Andy Warhol is making greeting card viral videos...

Jenna ‘The Drunk One’ Bush Hager Goes Mommyblogging

Hey y'all! Remember Jenna "The Drunk One" Bush? That cowgirl was a pile of good times, yeehaw! Well, she went and got married? And worked for the Peace Corps or something if we remember right we are not looking...

Poor Crackers Over At Stormfront Reduced To Lowly Pledge Drive/Mommyblogging In Effort To Keep Hate Alive

It's hard out there these days for America's once proud population of deranged racists. They made the mistake of getting their hopes up that the nice Mormon fellow might finally boot the "boy" out of the White House, only...

Tea Party: We Put Karl Rove In That Nazi Uniform *By Accident*

Hey there fellow mommybloggers! Remember that time your DC (DARLING CHILD, IDIOTS) had a slumber party and you let them stay up and gallivant about until finally, at four in the morning, you busted into their room screaming like...

Fox ‘Doctor’ Keith Ablow: Screw You Marlo Thomas, William Doesn’t Get A Doll

Here is Dr. Keith Ablow, on Fox & Friends, blowing a Bill O'Reilly-like gasket at the state of the world today, as evidenced by -- you may want to escort all children and pregnant women from the room --...