Things are so fucked up right now in America. The atmosphere surrounding these health care town halls is evolving faster than the HIV virus on cocaine, and steroids. Last night we saw the first fights break out in St. Louis and Tampa, over proposed legislation to reform an inefficient, costly sector of the domestic economy. For a heartwarming account of the Tampa event, read the delightful e-mail Ta-Nehisi Coates received today! As for St. Louis, things went so well yesterday, violence-wise, that they’re all getting back together tomorrow to murder each other. MORE »

• Do not bother trying to kayak to the Inauguration. [DCist]
• Obama went to his favorite mosque today, the 19th St. Baptist Church. [WTOP]
• Welcome to town! Try not to be a total dick. [Urbzen]
• The “We Are One” concert was a special event of some kind, involving Beyonce singing “America the Beautiful,” Obama and Lincoln doing a terrorist fist bump, and Sheryl Crow probably singing for seven fucking hours, about nothing. [USA Today]
• If you’re lucky enough to still have a job and still have a job that still honors federal holidays, you can still volunteer for some Hopey event tomorrow, in your area, for service! [USA Service]
• You people think this is the dumbest souvenir Obama T-shirt in D.C. this week? HA, wait until you see Newell’s. [Washington City Paper]

His cousins, uncle and even his own father were all mafioso, which maybe explains why the self-hating Giuliani dedicated so much of his professional life to crushing the Family Business by prosecuting such beloved mob figures as “Fat Tony” Salerno. At the same time, his perverse obsession with dressing up as fictional characters (usually women) means he also loves acting like characters from fictional mob movies such as “The Godfather.” But enough about Rudy’s 1,700 mental problems; let’s review his own family’s life of crime: MORE »