WASHINGTON, DC, 5:16 PM, TUE MAY 13 | 23 POSTS IN THE LAST 24 HOURS | tips@wonkette.com | SUBMIT A TIP | RSS

Posts Tagged “mittens”

mittens

Mitt Romney Calls Al Gore Fat

Last night was the annual Radio/Television Correspondents Association Dinner in Washington, where all the famous teevee stars and radio voices come and make dumb jokes with the Feds. And who was there but Mittens "Mitt" Romney, our favorite hilarious presidential candidate from 2007. And for the first time, he was actually *trying* to be funny. He did this by interrupting some poor CBS news guy and then giving a top 10 list. He calls Al Gore "fat" and it's mean, because Al Gore is going to be president again. Video below. More »

3:08 PM on Thu Apr 17 2008
By Newell
1,829 views, 29 comments

Latest by Confederatefag: Bearforce One. Look 'em up. more »

photo tours

America's Winning Response to Eight Years of Bush & Cheney

Mitt Romney joined his "successful" nemesis John McCain on the campaign trail yesterday, and they raised some cash from Mormon Fat Cats and other mountain men in Denver and Salt Lake City. They even rode together on John McCain's stupid little plane. But Mitt wants to be McCain's vice president, and McCain wants to woo the "Romney Wing" of the Republican party — Space Elves — so they had to play it nice for the cameramen. Look at how gay they were with each other yesterday, ha ha! The full gay photo tour, after the jump. More »

1:30 PM on Fri Mar 28 2008
By Newell
10,708 views, 59 comments

Latest by nelore: is that a fake right hand or the left is the one with a problem..i reaaly want to know more »

mittens

Mitt and McCain Hit The Trail Together

America's most believed ex-presidential candidate, Mittens "Mitt" Romney, is joining Maverick candidate John McCain on a fundraising tour through the "mountain west," starting today. They hate each after a brutal campaign where each lied and smeared the other to no end, although John McCain is, again, a Maverick, and Mittens wants to be his vice president. More »

12:51 PM on Thu Mar 27 2008
By Newell
977 views, 23 comments

mittens

Romney Secretly Taking Over Republican Earth!

Who knows where Mittens goes? Marc Ambinder knows, Marc Ambinder knows: "According to two Republicans with knowledge of his plans, Romney, at some point during the next few weeks, intends to establish a new political action committee to help elect Republican candidates." So Romney is going to raise money for all of the Republican candidates, campaign for them, and then buy their brains for the 2012 primary, in which he will also place third. And then, this: "Other Republicans close to Romney said that Romney was looking for ways to position himself as the ideas factory for the Republican party over the next four years..." This might be the only way for the Republican party to lose even more convictions. [Marc Ambinder]

5:07 PM on Thu Mar 13 2008
By Newell
925 views, 48 comments

Latest by LavenderDonny: Walnuts and Boldcock more »

ANOTHER FUN FACT ABOUT PERVERT LEGISLATOR ROBERT MCKEE: He was on the Romney for President Maryland Steering Committee. Or as he probably called it in his head, Mustache Rides For Mittens. [Mitt Romney]

16 comments

mittens

Famous Mormon Mitt Romney To Endorse McCain Today

Just as the world was getting over the end of Mitt Romney’s campaign — as the tears of children in Java, Mongolia, Malawi and even our own United States had finally stopped flowing — our Mittens has decided to formally endorse John McCain today. We miss you, Mittens! Don’t surrender like this to the McCain 9/11 Terrorists! Seeing your name in the news again… oh, the tears of loss have suddenly returned. [AP/Breitbart]

2:14 PM on Thu Feb 14 2008
By Newell
678 views, 25 comments

where is my mittens?

A Children's Treasury of Disappointed Conservative Crying On The Internet

Many of the conservatives on the right side of the Internet loved Mitt Romney. Loved his precious greasy hair! Loved his smile. Lurrrrrved his pandering. But now, Mitt Romney is dead. Let’s watch the Internet whine about having to support John McCain now! More »

2:48 PM on Thu Feb 7 2008
By Newell
2,985 views, 42 comments

mittens

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

This can’t be happening! It’s a sad day for Humor. Better get started on the obit. [The Page]

12:13 PM on Thu Feb 7 2008
By Newell
2,761 views, 105 comments

the road to nowhere

Romney Possibly Rethinking This Whole Thing

Mitt Romney is a savvy businessman with executive experience — that’s why he lost nearly every state primary last night to a broken old man and some guy named “Huckabee.” Today, the Mormon heartthrob will be applying his robust analytical skills to deciding whether or not he should blow another $35 million on his doomed campaign. [CNN]

10:15 AM on Wed Feb 6 2008
By saraksmith
1,251 views, 38 comments

our doomed nation

Romney Will Be King Of California And Nowhere Else

According to John Zogby’s latest poll, Republican Senator John “Walnuts!” McCain is leading pretty much everywhere except in the great state of California, where conservatives want a leader with executive experience and magic underoos. More »

8:59 AM on Tue Feb 5 2008
By saraksmith
1,428 views, 31 comments

oh, mittens

Romney Attacks McCain For '04 Ticket That Never Happened!

Mitt Romney knows history. In 2004, famous gay liberal John Kerry asked maniacal conservative fellow gay liberal John McCain to be his vice president, and John McCain said no thousands of time, and then a million more times, forever, and with bombs is a fairy. Check out this “art” Romney’s using in Massachusetts to get the truth out. [via Jonathan Martin]

4:38 PM on Mon Feb 4 2008
By Newell
844 views, 18 comments

vote romney

Rush Limbaugh Saving World Today

No, he actually is! He’s dedicating his entire show today towards John McCain being a gay liberal, who’s only good for the gay nomination in the Gay Party, because he votes for gay… spending… reform… things of that nature. Hey, he’d be a perfect fit for the Republican nomination!

Either way, we must praise Rush Limbaugh today, and only today: VOTE FOR MITTENS. TOMORROW. FOR THE THING. Please? [The Page]

3:17 PM on Mon Feb 4 2008
By Newell
1,735 views, 33 comments

campaign ads

Romney Attacking Woman He'll Never Run Against



Mitt Romney’s new Super Tuesday ad ruthlessly attacks that one person he needs to eliminate, from behind, to win the Republican nomination: WALN— wait, Hillary Clinton? Indeed, this whole ad rips at Hillary Clinton, with Mitt delivering the damning clincher: “She has never run anything!” Did a certain Romney, Mittens maybe purchase this marvel of cinema before the Florida primary? Or South Carolina? New Hampshire? Iowa? It’s just funny because he’ll never run anything again, for now. [YouTube]

4:59 PM on Thu Jan 31 2008
By Newell
474 views, 19 comments

Latest by HereKittyKittyKitty: Philly is cool. It's like a decaffeinated NYC. If you come to town to check any schools out, let me know. I'll buy you a cheesesteak. more »

DOESN’T FEAR GOLD GROW ON REPUBLICAN TREES?: While Barack Obama and that old racist Arkansas couple, the Clintons, each have massive national blitzes of the teevee ads, “major Republican presidential candidates do not have a single bit of paid media on the air in Super Tuesday states.” Not even gazillionaire Mitt Romney. This is good! When John McCain automatically wins the election by being a Republican, the influence of money shall no longer have a place in politics. [The Page]

19 comments

mittens

Why Is Socialist Liberal McCain Running In Republican Primary, Anyway?

Mitt Romney must beat John McCain, or all entertainment in the world will disappear. Please, Mormon God, Jesus, other spirit things: Give Mittens the nomination. He bought the damn thing, give the man his goods. He is too beatable and, more importantly, too funny to lose. Mittens just says these… things: today he noted that John McCain follows a “liberal Democrat course.” I’m sure the crowd went wild to boot! McCain, that… Clintonist. [Time]

3:58 PM on Mon Jan 28 2008
By Newell
1,703 views, 24 comments

mittens

Romney Whines About How Laying Off Workers Makes Him Sad

Mitt Romney took an adventurous campaign turn today by trying to connect with the Fortune 500 C.E.O. crowd, a demographic that always votes for the most progressive, tax-hiking liberal candidates. He mentioned how hard it is to lay off workers, how much it eats away at your corporate humanity, and how he’s done it like 50 million times. Coincidentally, this purging of the soul took place before a Latino builders’ union. Ohhhh Mittens! More »

1:32 PM on Fri Jan 25 2008
By Newell
1,570 views, 31 comments

mittens

Everyone On Planet Hates Mitt Romney

Mittens is an awful man, and a Mormon. No one likes him beyond the various unemployed welders of Michigan, Tom Tancredo and maybe son Tagg or Craig. He tells lies and he shits plastic. But no cadre of individuals loathes Mittens more than the other Republicans running for president, as the New York Times brilliantly pointed out today. Finally, we can agree with Rudy Giuliani, WALNUTS! and Huckabee about something! Maybe Mitt really is a uniter. More »

10:31 AM on Thu Jan 24 2008
By Newell
2,549 views, 45 comments

Latest by MCGEEST: I love Romney because he's not afraid to bravely go trough the embarrassment of changing his positions just because he studies them well.... in focus groups that is. more »

oh, mittens

Mitt Thinks MLK Should Stop Impregnating Girls

On Martin Luther King Junior Day, Mitt Romney had more than a question about mangy curs to the African-American community. He also had some… advice. Yes, you know where this is going, and you know it’s a tragically dark place lined with Mormon insecurities: More »

11:04 AM on Tue Jan 22 2008
By Newell
3,387 views, 17 comments