* Heard on the Hill: Dick Durbin beat a rat to death with a golf club, bragged about his bloodthirstiness … Rep. Diane Watson kills by night, or possibly by day. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Eleanor Holmes Norton, Stephen Colbert to meet in televised rematch. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Bob Edwards says he hears Al Gore is losing weight … Tom DeLay still pretty much seems like an asshole. [Examiner]
* Shenanigans: Wolf Blitzer forced to drive himself to work. [Politico]
* The Sleuth: Mitt Romney’s got real purty hair. [WP]
* Page Six: Bill Clinton, possibly eating a cheeseburger, will greet guests to Hillary’s fundraising spin aerobics class. [NYP]
* Rush & Molloy: Bored activists drag Amazon.com user-written reviews into Israel-Palestine-Jimmmy Carter brouhaha. [NYDN]