Tag: mitt romney

Aw, Cute! Trumpkins Have Their Own Site Now That Says Trump Is WINNING In The Polls!

Once again, we have another dispatch from the Trumperverse, the parallel universe in which Donald Trump is a very respectful and humble person, who is totally going to win this election. As we mentioned the last time we visited...
SO UNFAIR!

Trump Frets November Election Is ‘Rigged’ Since He Might Not Win

Donald Trump is already preparing for the revolution that must surely be sparked if Americans fail to vote for him.

‘Co-Prophet Of These End Times’ William Tapley Sings Sweetest Donald Trump Jam You’ll Ever Hear

The day we have been waiting for has finally arrived!

Third Eye Blind Trolls RNC, Makes Up For All Of 1997

Though some of us may never be able to fully forgive Third Eye Blind for the curse they wrought upon the year 1997, particularly if we worked at a mall around that time, the band did a mitzvah last night...
The REAL numbers are far worse, like when you include retired people and children!

Trump Delegates Can’t Believe How Terrible The Economy Is For Everyone But Them

Republican convention delegates are really disappointed the economy is in such terrible shape, except where they're from, where things are great in spite of Barack Obama, not because of anything he did.

Reminder: America Not As Insane, Doomed As We May Seem

This is important to say, and even more important to feel and believe, right now. It also happens to be true. It's easy to observe the GOP Convention, with its parade of speakers basking in rapturous cheers when they call for...

Republican Platform Knows Mitt Romney And Paul Ryan Will Save America — Yes, In 2016

Update: Dok Zoom notes, because Yr Editrix is too embarrassed to write this note herself: Yep, this is the whole darn 2012 party platform preamble. We initially thought the RNC had simply had slapped the 2012 preamble onto the...

By How Much Will Hillary Clinton Whomp Donald Trump Among Catholics? (LOL)

Clinton leads Trump by 17 points with Catholics, which is a lot.
Who needs facts when you've got charm?

Donald Trump Not Prepping For Debates, Will Just Be Himself. Clinton Campaign OK With That

Donald Trump is going to be incredibly ready for his debates with Hillary Clinton, although he hasn't started preparing for them yet. September is FOREVER away.

Hillary Clinton Can’t Stop Laffing At Piss-Poor Businessman Donald Trump

Thin-skinned Donald Trump is gonna ESSPLODE IN GRRRR ANGER before we know it. And we get to watch!
Yes America is that dumb

There May Be Enough White Voters To Elect Donald Trump. But Are There Enough Complete Idiots?

It might just be statistically possible for Donald Trump to win the presidency, although such an outcome would obviously give a completely new meaning to the term 'margin of error.'

Mitt Romney Will Be GOP’s Sexxxy Knight In Shining Armor! Or Scott Walker! Or Somebody!

PLEASE SOMEBODY, ANYBODY! The #NeverTrumpers are DYING here!
We chose this instead of a picture of Dick Morris. You're welcome.

Having Found Own Level, Dick Morris Now Sucking Toes At National Enquirer

Disgraced former Clinton aide turned rightwing hack Dick Morris has a new gig at the National Enquirer, and inquiring minds want to know if he can sink any lower. Probably!
Someone help him, please

Never Wrong Bill Kristol Says Independent Candidate Will Challenge Trump, LOL OK We’ll See

Sunday afternoon, Bill Kristol decided to leave a Memorial Day 'news' dump on Twitter. There will be a new candidate! It will be a good candidate! Bill Kristol is sure of it, and he's never wrong!
simpler times

At Least Your Boss Didn’t Make You Spend Your Unpaid Sunday With Mitt Romney

Some thought coal magnate Robert Murray of corporate behemoth Murray Energy broke the law when he made his people attend a 2012 Mitt Romney rally on a fucking Sunday in August when there was definitely nothing better these miners...
Bernie, you're such a cuck now

Salon Publishes A Million More Words On Why Trump’s Balls Are Much More Delicious Than Hillary’s

Salon murdered our brains with one million words about disembeddedness and Trump steaks. We are dead now. We are a ghost.