mitt romney

Imagine you are Josh Romney. A couple of years ago your daddy ran for a big job, and that job was President of the United States. In the course of running for this job, quite a few people said mean things about Josh’s daddy, because that’s how political campaigns work. One of those people was […]

Attention, Wonkerinos! We have an important message — five, actually — from a reader who was miffed that today’s Wonket did not give Alex Jones and his merry band of truthseekers their due. “Groovychickedy” just wants to set the record straight for us: One cannot simply brush Alex Jones under the carpet anymore. Alternative media […]

Here is this lady, Joni Ernst. She is a Republican running for the US Senate in Iowa! As she sexplains in her homey, aw-shucks, not-a-witch-she’s-you youtube campaigner video, she grew up castrating hogs. Now she is going to go to Washington and make them “squeal.” Gross, Joni Ernst. That’s just fucking gross.

Sweet merciful Yahweh, why is losing loser and oligarchic sex toy Mitt Romney still allowed in front of a working television camera? Is it not horrible enough that we endured that smug mien and faux patrician bearing for all of 2012? We have only just recently recovered from the opium habit we developed over a […]

Listen: Barack Obama has come unstuck in time. The evidence has been building for quite a while, since at least 2009, when he was being blamed for the TARP bank bailout program passed under George W. Bush. As his term progressed, it became clear that Obama was also responsible for the collapse of the housing […]

It sure is a good thing that politics stops at the water’s edge, because otherwise this Mitt Romney pouting in the Wall Street Journal sure would be controversial, since basically he tells America that we really screwed up bad by choosing such a terrible president who is decidedly not Mitt Romney. You see, were it […]

So you all remember Tom Perkins, right? He is the bazillionaire who is afraid that all the little people will go full-Nazi and holocaust all the rich people, because it was his turn to make the “just like Hitler” reference of the day. While he has since said that maybe, perhaps, the holocaust analogy went […]

Fox Business Network’s Charles Payne is very indignant that The LEGO Movie, the weekend’s top-grossing film, is “pushing its anti-business message to our kids” because the villain is an evil businessman. He also remarks that the character “looks a little bit like Mitt Romney,” which is maybe a stretch. Payne reprises the Fox complaint that […]

Are you following the failboat that is the Sochi Olympic readiness thus far? Journalists have arrived to super fun neato things like their phones being hacked pretty much the second they touch Russian soil or finding out that if they go elsewhere for awhile, their hotel rooms just get rented to someone else in their […]

Oh Mittens. Why couldn’t you just get fat and sassy and grow a beard like other presidential losers, huh? Oh that’s right – because staying out of the public eye and not griping about being a sore loserman takes class, and perhaps that program hasn’t been uploaded yet. Instead, you are still rehashing things that […]

So here is Mitt Romney playing straight man to Jimmy Fallon, making a generically pleasant call for an “end to all the partisan bickering in Washington” and plugging the Netflix documentary about Mitt Romney. There’s even a little “47%” joke in there. It’s not a bad performance for the Mittbot; he seems reasonably un-stiff, and […]

“We need to do a better job of appealing to women, minorities, and young people,” said every self-aware Republican after Mitt Romney and a bunch of other 2012 GOP candidates fed themselves feet first into the great wood-chipper of American Democracy. From “self-deport” to “binders full of women” to “who let the dogs out?”* with […]

So you are Chris Christie. Your once-bright career is falling apart before your eyes, all because you closed a bridge in a fit of unexplainable pique, thanks to the fact that you are an inveterate bully. Oh, and you also may have blocked Hurricane Sandy aid to one of your own cities, but c’mon! That’s […]

You don’t even need to open this week’s Sunday New York Times to know that it is going to be wall-to-wall Chris Christie. First there was the news that he may have blocked Hurricane Sandy aid to Hoboken because the mayor there didn’t love Chris Christie’s real estate development as much as she should have, […]

Remember when Obama was going to singlehandedly fix everything that was wrong with America, with socialism? And everyone would feel a great awakening of consciousness, and all our old hatreds would vanish, and we’d all become One in a vast field of organic fair-trade ironic mustaches? That didn’t happen, but at least the National Labor […]