Tag: mitch mcconnell

The fever will rise again

Republicans Poison Zika Funding Bill With Important Help For Confederate Flag, Cuts To Obamacare

Democrats aren't too crazy about some of the provisions Republicans threw into the Zika funding bill. Isn't allowing Confederate flags in federal cemeteries an important part of fighting infectious disease?
Winning the day.

House Republican Benghazi Report Fails To Convict Hillary Clinton Of Murder AGAIN

Who could have imagined the Benghazi investigation would have been a giant waste of all our time and money?
He is an actual, biological tortoise. And NRA stooge.

Mitch McConnell Kills Nice Bipartisan Gun Bill, Because He’s Mitch McConnell

Mitch McConnell, faced with the risk of allowing a vote on a widely supported gun bill that the NRA didn't like, pulled a pretty neat switcheroo. Give the old coot credit for being crafty.

Let’s Watch Elizabeth Warren Give Donald Trump A Wedgie And Take His Lunch Money

Elizabeth Warren tore Donald Trump yet another new one in her speech to the American Constitution Society Thursday. And as always, it was glorious.
He gets cranky when he has the sniffles

GOP Senator Says Be Sweet To Donald Trump, For He Is But A Tiny Suckling Infant

Meanwhile, Mitch McConnell would like Trump to stop playing with himself, pull his pants up and USE HIS WORDS.
The textbook definition of political courage. Or the complete opposite of that, whatevs.

Paul Ryan: Vote For The Racist!

In Trump World, everyone who criticizes Donald Trump's racist remarks is a racist, because that's "identity politics." In other news, massive seismic tremors have been reported at George Orwell's grave.

Mitch McConnell Hides Under His Shell From Mean Words Like ‘Racism’ And ‘Trump’

Mitch McConnell has a thing to say about racism, and that is "vote Trump!"
NOPE!

Ted Cruz Just Wants To Help GOP Senate Buddies But They’re All Busy Washing Their Hair

Republican senators don't seem to want Ted Cruz's 'help' getting re-elected. Weird!
Also refuses to take ex-lax

Ted Cruz Wishes Obama And Hillary Would Stop Forcing Him To Be A Dick All The Time

Back in July, it was kind of a big deal when Ted Cruz called Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell a big ol' liar from the tip of his tail to the top of his carapace. This was not only...

Sen. Tom Cotton So Glad America Chose Him To Usurp Tyrant King Barack Obama

<a href="http://wonkette.com/599725/lets-meet-obamas-sexxxy-silver-fox-scotus-nominee-merrick-garland"></a>Sen. Tom Cotton opened his Arkansan mouth anus again, and what came out was unsurprising. Yes, the babyfaced pig trough of a man who thought, as a brand new perky Republican senator from Arkansas, that it was his...

Here Is Your Depressing Update On The State Of The SCOTUS Nomination Nightmare

  You probably spent your weekend getting all March Mad Sportsball and whining about how your bracket blew up, whatever the hell that means, and because of that you weren't keeping abreast of just how godawful stupid the SCOTUS nomination...
This election is going better than 2008, we think.

Fox News Pretty Sure Hillary Should Fry For Obama’s SCOTUS Pick

You know that Cards Against Humanity card that says "Pooping back and forth forever?" It's from a movie, but it might as well be about Fox News and other assorted wingnut pundits. We saw it this week on Fox when...

GOP To Hold Its Breath Until It Turns Blue, Or Until Hillary Wins White House

As promised, Oval-Office-thiever-in-chief Barry B. Bamz O'Baby YoMama nominated a perfectly reasonable and qualified white dude to fill the vacancy on the Supreme Court. As also promised, congressional Republicans took all of zero seconds to say "NO WAY, HOMBRE!" because "principles"...

Meghan McCain Said A Mouth Fart About Obama’s SCOTUS Nomination

Every so often it's important for us to check in with the GOP's greatest mind. No, not Ann Coulter, she's a crusty pile of washed-up nothingess. We are of course talking about Meghan McCain, who for some reason is...

Let’s Meet Obama’s Sexxxy Silver Fox SCOTUS Nominee, Merrick Garland!

Hooray, the president of America, Barack the Great, has made a nominee to replace Dead Antonin Scalia's rotting flesh 'n' bones on the Supreme Court! Don't you want to know everything about him? No? Well SUCKS TO BE YOU...
Good job, asshole

Americans Want GOP To Do Its Damn Job, So That’ll Never Happen

Today, in No Frickin' Duh News, we bring you this exciting revelation. A totally not shocking in any way new poll shows the majority of Americans think the Senate's shit-sniffing Republicans should try earning their six-figure salaries for once, and...