This week Rudy Giuliani proves there’s nothing more American than baseball and S&M while Valerie Plame and Kiefer Sutherland blow their covers, and Tucker Carlson just blows. Plus Joe Scarborough, James Carville and everyone’s favorite tequila slurping laborer.

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* Campaigning for House majority leader as fierce as it is because Nancy Pelosi has hated that rat bastard Steny Hoyer since 1960 and she’s not stopping now. [WP, NYT, LAT]
* A thin layer of Iraq hearing was placed on top of a hearty serving of 2008 posturing in the Senate yesterday. [NYT]
* Mitch McConnell and Trent Lott elected as Senate Minority Leader and Whip respectively. After which Lott gets verklempt, cries, and makes the Capitol press corps visibly uncomfortable. [WP, WP]
* In Georgia, two more House races have been called for Democrats, seven still counting. [NYT, WP]
* Government diction experts assert that 35 million Americans are not going hungry, they just have “very low food security.” [WP]
* A record five House committees could be chaired by African-Americans. [WP]

The non-binding advisory make-believe Dump Rumsfeld Resolution has been predictably blocked by Republicans, who obviously don’t want to be forced to publicly take a stand on Secretary Sociopath. But who will make the required absurd argument against the Democrats’ lame attempt? Mitch McConnell … come on down!

“It must be discouraging to our troops and to our generals when all of their work is second-guessed by this kind of ploy,” said Senate Majority Whip Mitch McConnell, R-Ky.

Indeed. Hearing distant news of do-nothing politicians arguing in the Senate has got to be right up there with being shipped home from Iraq in a flag-draped box. MORE »

Yesterday we did a little blogging about Labor Secretary Elaine Chao — a.k.a. Mrs. Mitch McConnell (address her that way, she loves it). We asked you for a little scuttlebutt about Secretary Chao. And then the floodgates opened.

After the jump, your catty comments and unverified gossip about our beloved Secretary of Labor.

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The administration has been resolute in their insistence that there would be no timetable for withdrawal in Iraq. We guess the idea is that the sudden, unexplained disappearance of American troops from Iraq will so gobsmack the terrorists that they’ll be too busy, you know…having their minds BLOWN to create an insurgent surge. Still, remember when the President said this morning that it’s the stupid pre-911 tradition of “an open debate on the law” that aids and comforts the enemy? Well, Eleanor Stables at CQ Daily has ferreted out the latest terrorist sympathizer among us.

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• Reliable Source: The Bush twins celebrated their 24th birthday in Austin. . . USA Today’s Barbara Slavin presses Condoleezza Rice on her dress size, hopes for her “castoffs”. . . Harold Ickes was hospitalized for two weeks after crashing his Vespa. . . Sen. Arlen Specter (R-Pa.) offers to hold a hearing on the unfair treatment of Terrell Owens. [WP]
• Inside the Beltway: DNC to post “Shame on You” poster in Rep. Jean Schmidt’s (R-Ohio) district. [WT]
• Under the Dome: Sen. Mitch McConnell’s (R-Ky.) former drivers have used the job as a jump-start to political careers. . . A loser from season two of “The Apprentice” is considering a congressional race. . . What did Rep. Jean Schmidt (R-Ohio) learn from her controversial comment on Murtha? Not to wear that red dress. [The Hill]
• Cindy Adams: The Clintons are going on public outings together. [NYP]
• Rush & Molloy: John Belushi’s wife turns on Bob Woodward. . . The Clintons are reportedly interested in a home in the Dominican Republic. [NYDN]
• The Scoop: Dennis Quaid spoofs the presidency in upcoming film; William Dafoe plays a Cheney-like vice president and Marcia Gay Harden is the first lady. [MSNBC]