Tag: mistresses

Love Child! Stay Away From David Vitter Or He Will Bortion You (Allegedly)

Sen. David Vitter, the family values Republican from Adult Diapers, Louisiana, would like to be governor. And he would also like everyone to stop asking him about that time he committed a "very serious sin" by banging hookers -- not...

Get Ready For Your Close-Up, Tea Bag Pro-Life Congressman Who Pressured His Mistress To ‘Bortion His Baby

Bitches. All you're trying to do is treat their foot fungus or whatever, and they hold you down and rape you probably, and then they tell you they are on the Pill or something, and then they get your...

Newt Gingrich Committed Adultery Because America Made Him Horny

Presidential candidate/kitsch 1990s artifact Newt Gingrich knows he's going to have to explain why he had so many affairs when he was trying to remove President Clinton from office for getting a blowjob, and here's how he explained it...

Pennsylvania’s Beauty Queen/Fake Job/Cigar Store/Car Sex Scandal

Hey, here is a sexy state scandal while we wait for Hopey to set up his podium 'n stuff! Pennsylvania State House Majority Leader H. William DeWeese might have to resign because his chief of staff allegedly hired some...

Another Day In the Rumor Mill