Bill O’Reilly Has Absolutely No Idea What The Public Option Is
Friday, September 18th, 2009
It begins thusly: Bill O’Reilly announces that it is a good thing the public option is dead, because now the President can work on making sure the government will start to provide cost-effective, reliable health care for people who cannot afford private insurance. And then some gal from the Heritage Foundation is like, “Hmm, are you sure, Bill, that you want this? Because what you just described, it seems like something you don’t want.” It is at this point that O’Reilly realizes he has LITERALLY just said he loves communism. Ha ha, whatever though, because he 100% covers his tracks by assuring this sinister woman that he personally doesn’t want a bunch of socialists ordering him to retroactively abort the seniors in his family—Christ no—but he thinks that this might be good like for poor people. [Daily Kos]
Best Ticket Ever: Obama/Craig ‘08
Monday, July 28th, 2008
So there is this Democratic paraphernalia vendor called Tigerye Design, and they sell buttons and other crap. One such button, briefly available for purchase on their site, showed Barack Obama and Idaho Bathroom Goblin Larry Craig instead of Obama and Idaho Senatorial candidate Larry LaRocco. So until the vendor pulled it, a button was available that showed the guy who even straight dudes want to do and the straight guy who wants to do dudes. Prediction: this button will retail on eBay for fifteen thousand whore diamonds. [AP]
Obama Nixes Stupid ‘Great Seal’ Remake
Monday, June 23rd, 2008
The national press corps is not used to covering a “confident” Democratic presidential candidate, at least in this decade. So much confidence, in fact, that the candidate won’t always bend over backwards to talk to the press, or to leak internal drama to the press! Ergo, the press has decided that Obama is arrogant. And when they saw Obama speak behind this new “great seal” of his on Friday — definitely the lamest stunt we can remember from Hopey — this confirmed to the press that Obama is too arrogant. Obama arrogantly got the message and arrogantly ditched the great seal and did some other arrogant stuff, like believe he might actually win this thing. [Marc Ambinder]
Everyone Makes Mistakes
Tuesday, November 20th, 2007
Mon petit croque-monsieur, I know the distaste with which you regard that proffered hand. I, too, would be surprised if it were well-washed and, even in France, one must have hygiene standards. But, truly, it would be a good thing if the distasteful man could secure the release of those prisoners that is your heart’s desire (besides me, of course) and I cannot help but admire your fortitude again. If you need to rid your mind of the memory of his voice, call me, okay? [Yahoo News]
Congratulations to MSNBC For Remembering What President Bush Looks Like
Wednesday, August 22nd, 2007
Apparently, the secret Security and Prosperity Partnership of North America meeting up in Canada is ending not with the sale of our children to Mexico, but rather with a hilarious world leader switcharoo.
Batting 1 For 3 With MSNBC [MSNC]
Lady Who Fucked Up Iraq to Fix It
Thursday, May 31st, 2007
Further proving his dedication to leaving no embarrassing failure unrepeated, President Bush is sending Meghan O’Sullivan back to Iraq! MORE »
Daily Briefing: Eyes Roll, Heads Fine
Wednesday, March 14th, 2007* Alberto Gonzales is pretty sure his only “mistake” was not squashing dissenting attorneys beneath his ostrich skin boot heel. [WP, NYT, WSJ, LAT]
* Iraq withdrawal “showdown” starts today in Senate, Republicans confident that, “President Bush is still popular and his Iraq strategy is popular.” [WP, NYT]
* 9/11 security reforms passed by Senate yesterday face White House veto on grounds that TSA employees must have only one (1) pot to piss in, no more. [WP, NYT]
* Democrats on the lookout for $800 billion to cover, you know, “a health-insurance program for children, public education, veterans’ health care and local police.” [WP, NYT]
* Your buddy with the really hot condo is killing the economy. [WP, LAT]
* Pretend like you haven’t heard this one before: DC voting rights bills starts in House. [WP]
Daily Briefing: Responsibility Rests
Thursday, January 11th, 2007* President Bush admits old mistakes in Iraq, then makes a new one. [WP, NYT, LAT, USAT]
* WP says Bush needs to “make the case that those new assumptions are more valid than the last.” NYT thinks “that the new policy will be a tough sell.” [WP, NYT]
* Kid that makes your morning latte to become even more arrogant as House passes minimum wage increase. [WP]
* “Electability” is the only thing Democrats care about for 2008. Well, that and gambling. [WSJ]
* Nancy Pelosi shuts down House-side smoking. Members now required to cower in their offices with the lights off if they want a drag. [WP, NYT, WSJ]
* White House at odds with The House over new stem cell legislation, Dr. House thinks they’re all idiots. [WP, NYT]
Jean Schmidt Disappoints Us, Nation
Wednesday, September 27th, 2006
Representative Jean Schmidt’s previous public meltdowns have been so comical that it saddens us to see her reduced to mere plagiarism, the hallmark of boring, unimportant people like bloggers, academics, and music writers. Who can forget… MORE »












Mistakes were made.