Tag: missouri

What do you people want from me? Leadership? Pffft.

Donald Trump Will Raise Money For Republicans Just As Soon As He Figures Out How That Benefits Him

Donald Trump doesn't see why he should hold fundraisers for the GOP anymore. What have they ever done for him?
Roy Blunt (r) has kind of a creepy smile

Your Senate Sunday: Missouri Democrat Jason Kander Really Wants To Roll A Blunt

For an article about the Senate race involving Roy Blunt, you'd think this piece would have a lot more weed jokes.
Also not allowed to ask where she concealed that.

Missouri Rescues Second Amendment From Tyranny Of So-Called Concealed Carry ‘Permits’

Missouri's very easy process for concealed-carry permits was oppressive, so there's no need for a permit at all. Have at it, folks!
This election is going better than 2008, we think.

Hillary Clinton Just Screwing Around In Red States Now, For LOLs

Hillary is trolling and baiting the Trump campaign QUITE beautifully right now.
You broke it, you bought it

Missouri Gov Jay Nixon Cut Budget For Public Defenders, So Now He Has To Be One

Missouri's public defender system is chronically underfunded thanks to Gov Jay Nixon's vetoes of funding bills. So the head of the state's public defender office has assigned Nixon to take the case of an indigent defendant.

Badass New Miss Missouri Will Be First Openly Lesbian Lady To Gay Up Miss America Contest

Don't you want to read a NICE story on Friday morning? Yes you do, CLICK CLICK CLICK!
NOPE!

Ted Cruz Just Wants To Help GOP Senate Buddies But They’re All Busy Washing Their Hair

Republican senators don't seem to want Ted Cruz's 'help' getting re-elected. Weird!
You liberals can't complain about this and still support Warren, because Reasons

Deleted Comments: Wingnuts Have ONE Joke About Elizabeth Warren. Guess What It Is? Guess!

Rightwing critics of Elizabeth Warren have ONE HILARIOUS JOKE about her, which proves that everything she says about anything is wrong.

Missouri Just Wants Rape Victims To Be #Blessed With Beautiful Gift Of Forced Pregnancy

Missouri House passes Personhood Bill with no exceptions for rape victims.
thanks seattle

Starbucks Shocks America, Breaks Streak Of Phenomenal Stupidity On Race Issues

Ugh, Starbucks, really? You're going to try to tackle actual serious societal problems again, now in Ferguson, Missouri, no less? Okay, fine, how are you falling on your face this time? Wait ... Starbucks' plan is actually well-thought-out and...
The real mystery is who's arming them.

Toddlers Murdering Selves At Alarming Rate, No End To Rampage In Sight

With six gun attacks by toddlers on Americans in the last week, the number of deaths and injuries (five deaths, one injury) caused by armed children now exceeds the number of Americans (four) killed in the terrorist attacks in...
It's a mystery!

Bill O’Reilly Mystified: Why Are The Blacks So Racist Against Poor Donald Trump?

For a guy who likes to think of himself as pretty smart, Bill O'Reilly is pretty easily flummoxed by little things like how the tides work, what socialism is, and what war correspondents do. And now he's confused by...
Troll so hard

Elizabeth Warren Chops Off Donald Trump’s Manhood, Mounts It Above Fireplace

What were we JUST saying about how Republican menfolk are a-scurred of Elizabeth Warren? Oh yeah, it was that thing where a no-name GOP representative from Missouri was sadly wishing somebody would go to the Senate and slice off...
A lot of very bad dudes

Donald Trump Rally Comes To Logical Conclusion

Donald Trump's rally in Chicago was cancelled Friday night after hundreds of protesters (probably all personally paid by George Soros, according to Breitbart commenters, who know what's really going on) got into the venue at the University of...

Missouri Democrats Literally Could Not Shut Up About Gay People This Week

If you happen to be passing through the Missouri state house today, there are some Democratic state senators who deserve a pat on the back and whatever free Frosty coupons you might have lying around, because they tried VERY...
The drugs are hidden SOMEWHERE, Tennessee Republicans just KNOWS it.

Tennessee Poors Refuse To Be Drug-Addicted Welfare Queens, Unfair!

If you are a Republican lawmaker in these US-es of America, you are absolutely certain that somewhere, a bunch of people are lazying around on their fat asses using their free Obamaphones to order 'spensive lobster from Amazon Prime, and then...