Wonkette

We ran into YOUR president, George W. Bush, on the streets of St. Paul. He’s been arrested oh no! This is why he can’t appear in person to deliver his address — he’ll be getting bondage-whipped by this pink sexbot cop on the shores of the Mississippi river for the rest of his term. Also, we’ve gone through the official schedule of the night’s events and, shortly after 9:00 ET, there will be a video tribute to George “H.” W. Bush, the Yankee plutocrat everyone pretends to like these days. This comes right after the video tribute to Abraham Lincoln, whose presidency failed due to his lack of previous experience. *Just saying.* Also MICHELE BACHMANN is speaking within the hour. Tee hee!

Chip Pickering, the Mississippi Congressman who’s retiring to spend more time with his divorced family and mistresses, participated in last night’s annual Roll Call Congressional Baseball Game one last time, for the fans. If you would like a recap of last night’s game that cannot go three words without divining about what it portends for the election, we recommend The New Republic. We’re more interested, however, in an alleged incident that an eyewitness tells us about, involving our friend Chip: that he let go of his aluminum bat during a practice swing in the on-deck circle, letting it soar into the crowd and destroy some man’s face. MORE »

Charles “Chip” Pickering is the only Mississippi Republican left in the House. He is the ultra-conservative son of famous racist/civil rights champion and retired federal judge Charles Pickering. Chip announced in August that he was quitting Congress so he could, of course, spend more time with his family, and get a lucrative lobbying job. The lobbying job will surely come, but on Friday it was announced that Chip is divorcing his wife so he can spend more time with all the various women he’s been connected with over the years. What, a Republican in Congress who commits adultery with the opposite sex? MORE »

The AP has just called the special election in Mississippi Congressional District 1 for Democrat Travis Childers, who said… oh Hell, he said plenty. Folks, that is Northern Missisippi, an intensely conservative district, just as Louisiana’s 6th was. Don’t get too worried about John McCain just yet, or ever. [AP/Clarion-Ledger]

Screw HITLERY ROD-SHAM CLINTON and B’IRAQ HUSSEIN OSAMA, the biggest election tonight is in Mississippi Congressional District Numero Uno, between Republican Greg Davis and Democrat Travis Childers, who said nothing. Wait, what’s that? Travis Childers stopped being a mute, finally? Yes He Did, with this mailer he’s been sending out attacking Davis. Davis, you see, wanted to honor the founder of the KKK with a big old racist statue, and the black gal pictured here wasn’t so thrilled about that. Congrats, Childers, and good luck! [TPM Election Central]

Thanks to commenter queeraselvis for pointing out that Greg Davis, the GOP candidate in a special election to fill an open Mississippi House seat, will enlist the Dark Lord himself, Dick Cheney, to campaign the day before next Tuesday’s election. Cheney, of course, is the polar opposite of Barack Obama, the #1 terrorist and cheerleader of Davis’ opponent Travis Childers. When asked about Cheney’s emergency involvement, Childers said nothing. Childers rarely says anything about anything, because he is a member of the radical liberal Democrat party. Watch this: TRAVIS CHILDERS WEARS WOMEN’S UNDERGARMENTS! We can write that since Travis Childers is incapable of denying it, because he says nothing. [Commercial Appeal]

The National Republican Congressional Committee (NRCC) — the world’s most comical political organization, behind House Republicans — has been hoping to convert Barack Obama’s non-denunciation of controversial black people into a couple of victories in upcoming House special elections. We saw that piece of crap airing in Mississippi yesterday, about which Travis Childers said nothing. Now they have another ad supporting some GOP dude running in Louisiana, whose opponent supports the “extreme liberal views” of Barack Obama and Nancy Pelosi, depicted below with a lesbian haircut. MORE »

They don’t take kindly to Barack O’Terrorist in Mississippi, even though he won the Democratic primary there recently. That was merely a ruse of the Liberals, however, who are controlled by Barry and his band of Bitter Pastors. Such is the message of a new attack ad in a Northern Mississippi congressional district that will hold a special election in two weeks. Republican nominee Greg Davis is running this ad against Democratic opponent Travis Childers, who *gasp* has been endorsed by Barack “I hate America” Obama himself. When will Childers throw the probable next president of the United States under the bus? Watch this striking ad, after the jump. MORE »