mississippi
Suspect in Ricin Mailings Had Something Nasty In The Dojo
We would like to take a moment to thank the community of Tupelo, Mississippi, for giving us Elvis Presley, that strange Van Morrison song about honey, and now, all these years later, the chicken-fried braintrust of Paul Kevin Curtis and James Everett Dutschke. The only surprise about these gentlemen is that Curtis, the Elvis (and [...]
Ricin Letters Might Have Been Clumsy Frame-Up, Script Treatment For Coen Brothers Movie
Remember last week when someone mailed a letter containing ricin to President Obama and a Mississippi senator, and it was only about the tenth-most-interesting story going on at the time? And then the guy accused of doing it, Paul Kevin Curtis, turned out to be nuttier than a bag of nuts? And then the cops [...]
Do YOU Live in the ‘Least Free’ State in the Country?
Your Wonkette loves a fun fact, so we were thrilled to learn that a new study has revealed the “least free” state in the nation. Who can guess which state has the most FEMA concentration camps per capita? Twenty points and a bag of Bill O’Reilly’s used loofahs to the winner! Let’s first review the [...]
Wingnuts: Pro-’Agenda 21′ Feds Murdering All The Mississippi Lawmakers One By One
In the Dan Brown novel that is the Mississippi legislature, we have five dead in a matter of months. Now, a Mississippi lawmaker has been found dead of a single gunshot wound at the home of another (former) Mississippi legislator, and the wingnuts of Before It’s News have a theory that in no way has [...]
Nation’s Most Obese State Passes ‘New York Sux’ Bill, RC Cola & Moon Pie Stocks Rebound
So, simply because enough fucking people are not already TALKING ABOUT THE GODDAMN SODAS, here is this thing: Mississippi’s legislature has overwhelmingly passed and sent to Governor Lardstick McGoober a bill that will explicitly ban any municipality from discouraging its citizens from eating like gross disgusting pigs, for FREEDOM. The law, informally known as the [...]
Your Thursday Nice-Time: Small-Town Mississippi Newspaper Owner Tells Homophobes To Get Bent
Meet newlyweds Crystal Craven and Jessica Powell of Laurel, Mississippi, who exchanged vows earlier this month. Ms. Craven has brain cancer, and doctors and staff who’ve been treating her were among those who attended the small ceremony. While the State of Mississippi doesn’t recognize same-sex unions, the local paper, the tri-weekly Laurel Leader-Call, covered the [...]
It Is Cute When White People Try To Have Thoughts About Slavery
A guest post from your comrade Gary Legum. Here is the sum total of facts your Wonket knows about Emory University: it is located in Atlanta, and Emory’s current president, one James Wagner, is dumber than a bag of hammers. Okay, perhaps that last one is more opinion than fact. Here, let us read this [...]
Mississippi Schools Best In Nation At Sending Kids To Jail
Bolstered by a recent report from a coalition of civil rights organizations, Mississippi continues to excel in attracting those re-locators balancing the need for quality public schools with the desire to live near an unofficially segregated Waffle House. One of only 19 states that permits paddling in schools, Mississippi has long been a haven for [...]
Suspended From School In Mississippi? That’s A Jailing
We at Wonkette have been pretty excited about Louisiana lately, what with revealing that they are one of the more awful states of the union in terms of infant mortality and life expectancy and whatnot, and also because they will teach about the Loch Ness monster in science class (so long as they don’t have [...]
MS Rep. Bubba Carpenter Proud To Have Eradicated Abortion In The State, Save For The Coathanger Kind
Mississippi Rep. Lester “Bubba” Carpenter is so happy with the “progress” that ensued when Governor Phil Bryant passed a law to ensure that Mississippi abortion providing doctors have admitting privileges at hospitals (shortly after signing the bill into law, Bryant announced that the Democrats’ “one mission in life is to abort children”). To Bubba, this [...]
North Carolina Guv Finds Worst Insult For Amendment One Supporters
North Carolina Governor Bev Perdue is extremely unhappy with the 61 percent of her tragically dumb constituents who voted to constitutionally ban gay marriage and gay civil unions in the state. How unhappy? Full nuclear insult unhappy: “People are saying what in the world is going on with North Carolina, we look like Mississippi.” OH [...]
Obama Won’t Let Poor Private Prison Beat And Rape Its Juvie Inmates, Because He Loves Crime
Well this is a fine how-do-ye-do! Barack Hussein Obama loves 13-year-old juvenile offenders in Mississippi private prisons more than he loves the upstanding citizens who beat and rape them! A “scathing decision” from a federal judge, following a report by the Department of Justice, said the Walnut Grove Youth Correctional Facility allowed “a cesspool of [...]
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