Here’s everything you need to make your very own Miss USA! Some assembly required. Shortly after this photo was snapped, your editor came face to face with Chuck Todd coming off the press elevator. He is magnificent in person.

Okay, maybe it really was a misunderstanding, considering that Larry Craig is too fucking stupid to even successfully call his lawyer, as this pathetic wrong-number voicemail message makes clear. [Associated Press]

Please, DC cabbies, install little video cameras and send us the footage!

Shared a cab…refused to give you my number…. - w4m
Reply to: pers-274090894@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-02-05, 10:50PM EST

So we shared a cab ride back to Rossyln…stopped at a gas station…drank a bottle of wine….I was wasted you were so nice….I feel sooo bad….and I didn’t give you my number…but your really cute….and this is really gay….so I hope you respond
Location: Smithpoint

This is actually the complete opposite of “gay,” but what do you expect from Smith Point regulars? MORE »

What can we even add to this?

Capital Club Halloween Party - Looking for Jon Benet - m4w
Reply to: pers-227695292@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-10-30, 11:19AM EST

I am trying to reach Jon Benet Ramsey, from the Capital Club/Smith Point party at the Galleria Sat night. IF anyone has any information I am offering a $100 reward for information leading to her identity!!!

About me - [He actually put his name here]
* this is in or around DC

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• “Yes, they’re trying to rename the neighborhood just north of Massachusetts Avenue NE ‘NoMa.’” We’re just as sorry as you. [Cafe 227]

• Farmer’s market in the Department of Transportation’s Nassif Building courtyard. [Beyond The Mall]
• WP restaurant reviews “written by one of two kinds of people: restaurant owners or sociopaths.” And by sociopath you mean Tom Sietsema. [Ar-Jew-Tino]
• Interesting question (”When (if ever) do you tell people that you have a blog?”) devolves into Jeff Foxworthy bit: “Let’s face it, women don’t do a very good job of differentiating between deceitful lies of omission and the more benign white lies that guys sometimes tell just to avoid having long, drawn out conversations.” You might be a blogger. [Good at Drinking, Bad at Life]
• “MC with the Woman who’s dog fell out of her SUV.” [craigslist]

We assumed the FoxNews promotional budget was a little higher, but no need to waste money on pro marketing when you’re always on top. MORE »

Weep to this tragic tale of an impolite journo-celebrity. A young man with a “terrifically hot girlfriend” is snubbed — snubbed! — by regular-guy and noted father-lover Tim “Little Russ” Russert. The gentlemen greeted the Ultimate Insider with a hearty “good evening, sir!” Did Tim return the salutation? “No, you just kept walking to your Lexus SUV.”

We happen to know that the only way for a peon to get a response from Little Big Russ is with a fist and the words “go Bills,” but we wouldn’t want anyone to have to lower themselves to that kind of pandering behavior. Have a little dignity, Washington. The full ad is reprinted for your amusement after the jump.

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Arlen Specter (R-Sad Sack) is one of those Senate Republicans who likes to put up at least a facade of independence. Which, despite the total lack of results ever, is fun when it leads to stories like the one in the Times today about how Dick Cheney told the rest of the committee to block testimony from TelComs, but didn’t tell Arlen about it beforehand. Which leads to that strongest of Washington weapons, the angry mildly peeved letter: MORE »

Is everyone else as cranky as we are today? How else to explain the prevalence of obviously opprobrious craigslist postings — and on the Missed Connections board of all places, generally the home of crushingly banal sincerity (it is, after all, hard to be insincere about desperation and lust). First up, a reader notes that the last month has seen a remarkable number of M.C.s at a certain building that happens to be home the Office of Special Counsel. This one reads sincere. This one, not so much: MORE »

For filing under “too cryptic to be helpful”: MORE »

This morning’s Craigslist mailbag offers this gem: MORE »