Who do you get when you can’t get Tom Arnold to star in your yuletide heartwarmer? Judging by “A Very Beazley Christmas,” the White House’s new 10-minute holiday epic, Department of Treasury Secretary John Snow and Department of Agriculture Secretary Mike Johanns. Yeah, we never heard of them either — this thing is going straight to video. (Johanns does deliver a surprisingly intense and earnest performance, though.) Also: MORE »

We understand that Bush is announcing Alan Greenspan’s successor at 1PM. Barney’s working on an acceptance speech, but you know how hard Laura has been pushing Miss Beazley. MORE »