There are “life lessons” for all new beauty queens. Miss USA and Miss Teen USA learned it’s best not to be caught having coked-up lesbian sex together, and new Miss America Lauren Nelson has learned it’s best not to hook up with DC Examiner gossip Patrick Gavin, because he’s just going to put it all in the paper. MORE »

UPDATE: Oh great, now our operative says “WRONG GAVIN!” Is there another Gavin we should be concerned about? Who? Local journalist Patrick Gavin? Jeez, this post is no longer at all interesting. MORE »

* Heard on the Hill: Senate Republicans defy Dick Cheney’s demands, sing “Happy Birthday” to him. Kay Bailey Hutchison missing, presumed dead… Rep. Heather Wilson made shirts that say “I Survived Hurricane Emanuel.” Now Rahm wants one. Oh, the fun they have in Congress. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Miss America judge Chris Mattews asked contestants about Falkner. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Chris Matthews also asked Miss D.C. where Osama bin Laden is. [Examiner]
* Shenanigans: Weekly Standard uses Al Kamen column mocking them to sell their upcoming cruise… Juan Williams and George W. Bush: BFF. [Politico]
* The Sleuth: Barack Obama is freezing out FoxNews after they aired the crazy secret muslim story… Nancy Pelosi returned home from Iraq to find a terrifying raven living in her Georgetown apartment. [WP]

No, that’s not Wonkette standing behind Joe Pantoliano. [WP/Lucian Perkins]

Truth be told, our night wasn’t that wild — more like reading Emily Dickinson than hanging out with Paris Hilton. But at least we got out of the apartment!

Last night, Wonkette (or one-half of Wonkette — the half of us with a tux) attended the Congressional Correspondents dinner, sponsored by the Washington Press Foundation. The swanky, black-tie event, held at the Ritz-Carlton on M Street, was attended by numerous “famous-for-D.C.” types, and even a few “famous-for-famous” folks — like Fran Drescher!

Slate described the event as “a B-list affair compared with the Gridiron and White House Correspondents Association dinners”; but we still had ourselves a jolly good time. Although Marcia Davis of the Post urged them not to give up their day jobs, the dinner speakers — Sen. Arlen Specter (R-Penn.) and House Minority Whip Steny Hoyer (D-Md.) — were actually pretty funny. But our assessment may have been colored by the “soft bigotry of low expectations” — as well as too much red wine…

Of course, copious consumption of booze helped us through the evening. And did we mention that The Nanny was in the house?

Our detailed coverage appears after the jump.

MORE »