• May 26, 2012

minorities

We knew it, you knew it, they knew it, your crazy white great-uncle who forwards you paranoic chain letters in blue 30-point Comic Sans font with neon green background knew it, and now the U.S. Census knows it: The minorities, they’re popping out babies like the dickens, and the flaccid whites can no longer keep [...]

While “fastest mind in the West” Rick Santorum managed to invent an entirely new race of humans the blahs in the course of a losing battle with the English language as he backtracked on his comments that he doesn’t want to help black people with public assistance, Newt Gingrich took the opposite tack following his [...]

UC Berkeley College Republicans (newsflash: they have those!) want to make a serious point about how affirmative action is racist against white males, which they will accomplish by holding a bake sale that is racist against everyone else. Brilliant populism! The backdrop for this is a law proposed by California governor Jerry Brown that would [...]

America was founded upon dusty Old Testament scrolls handed down from the Heavens by Jesus and the cowboys. And then the Jews came, as prophesied, and turned Washington into their surrogate Promised Land, and they have ruled ever since. Luckily for poor, uneducated and underrepresented Christian Patriots, Jewish interests mesh exactly with those of the [...]

The House passed the No Taxpayer Funding For Abortion Act yesterday evening by a 251-175 vote. This has no chance of becoming law, but considering Republicans have promised to make abortion illegal since Roe v. Wade was decided 40 years ago, it’s not like they’ve really ever planned on banning it. If they did ban [...]

Rick Santorum needs some attention! Say something ridiculous and offensive, Rick! “Well, look at — and I know they dispute this — certainly a lot of evidence that the location of their clinics happen to be in places, historically places, where there are high concentrations of minorities, for example.” Sure, that will work! Just say [...]

Uh oh, America’s white people are about to be outnumbered by, you know, those folks: “Demographers say this year could be the ‘tipping point’ when the number of babies born to minorities outnumbers that of babies born to whites.” NOT COOL, minorities! How can you be minorities when you’re the majority? Right now, today, despite [...]

Today, the LG-BLT crowd is finally happy with the breeder Barack Obama, because he has awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom to an alive lesbian (Billie Jean King) and a dead gay man (Harvey Milk) along with many sundry black people from both Africa and (maybe?) the United States. Also: Stephen Hawking, a known scientist/god-hater [...]

Gaah, Mitch McConnell, what a buzzkill! The Senate Minority Leader told members of the Republican National Committee that they’re in danger of becoming “a minority party,” by which he means, “a party with no minorities in it.” It is a well-known fact that the only people who voted for John McCain in the presidential race [...]

Jeez, who’s running this government anyhow? Given his latest string of appointments, it appears Barack Obama favors Indonesian Socialist pansexual witch-doctors such as Tom Daschle and Tim Geithner. This leaves little room for Obama to install in key positions such competent Southerners as … well shit, are there even any Southern Democrats alive anymore? Or [...]

Here is the saddest thing: Times of London reporter Tom Baldwin was surprised to find two young black ladies canvassing for John McCain in Des Moines. He asks if they’re volunteers. Nope, they are temp workers from an employment agency. And one of them sheepishly admits to being an Obama supporter, while the other one [...]