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Posts Tagged ‘minorities’

TYPICAL

Barack Obama Gives Presidential Medal of Freedom To Bunch of Homosexuals, Blacks, Women & Muslims

Thursday, July 30th, 2009

Totally gay!Today, the LG-BLT crowd is finally happy with the breeder Barack Obama, because he has awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom to an alive lesbian (Billie Jean King) and a dead gay man (Harvey Milk) along with many sundry black people from both Africa and (maybe?) the United States. Also: Stephen Hawking, a known scientist/god-hater and Englishman, and Ted Kennedy, a liberal. Full list after the jump! MORE »


VOTER DEMOGRAPHICS

McConnell Warns GOP They Will Soon Be All-White Party Of Losers

Friday, January 30th, 2009

Family values voters.Gaah, Mitch McConnell, what a buzzkill! The Senate Minority Leader told members of the Republican National Committee that they’re in danger of becoming “a minority party,” by which he means, “a party with no minorities in it.” It is a well-known fact that the only people who voted for John McCain in the presidential race were Southern whites who wore their best overhauls on election day to vote against a Muslin in the White House (it’s not the Black House, people!). This won’t do for a party of the Future. MORE »


DIVERSITY TRAINING

Southerners Are Latest Ethnic Group To Be Outraged By Barack Obama’s Cabinet Appointments

Monday, December 15th, 2008

Oh moon of Alabama it's time to say goodbyeJeez, who’s running this government anyhow? Given his latest string of appointments, it appears Barack Obama favors Indonesian Socialist pansexual witch-doctors such as Tom Daschle and Tim Geithner. This leaves little room for Obama to install in key positions such competent Southerners as … well shit, are there even any Southern Democrats alive anymore? Or are they like the ivory-billed woodpecker, another mythical Southern rarity? MORE »


GREAT BIG DEPRESSION

Poor Black Obama Voters So Poor They Have To Work For McCain Campaign

Monday, October 27th, 2008

Karate man bruises on the insideHere is the saddest thing: Times of London reporter Tom Baldwin was surprised to find two young black ladies canvassing for John McCain in Des Moines. He asks if they’re volunteers. Nope, they are temp workers from an employment agency. And one of them sheepishly admits to being an Obama supporter, while the other one warns they could lose their $10-an-hour part-time job for talking to the press. And they’re both so ashamed. MORE »


2008

Have You Ever Noticed How Minorities Have Black-Sounding Names?

Monday, January 7th, 2008


Hey, Andy Rooney’s not dead! Who knew? Also, he’s not happy with the all these ethnic-sounding people running for president. Barack Obama, Rudy Giuliani … jeez, this is supposed to be America, not the freakin’ Rainbow Coalition. You know who had a good, white-sounding name? Adolph Hitler, that’s who.


DEMOCRATS

Tonight They Care About Black People, But 17 Months From Now …

Thursday, June 28th, 2007

With your host, Britpop faves 'Travis' - WonketteIt’s time, everybody, it’s time! Feel the disconnect as Nightly Business Report segues to PBS Presidential Primary Forums With Tavis Smiley. Ladies and gentlemen, get your cocktails ready.

Come on in, the water sucks.

MORE »


2008

Obama & Walnuts Promise New Wave of Terrible U.S. Riots

Tuesday, June 5th, 2007

So you say I got a dirty mind, I'm a mean go-getter. - WonketteOne fun part of America that’s sadly missing from modern life is the Race Riot. These exciting events were caused by various factors such as race, racism, poverty, white cops hating on black kids, no jobs, the FBI killing MLK, etc. During the 1967 Detroit riots, Governor Romney (always the same people, forever!) called in the Army, and a combined 17,000 troops and cops finally crushed the insurrection after five days. Central Detroit was basically destroyed. Between 1964 and 1971, there were similar riots in DC, LA, New York, Chicago, Philadelphia, San Francisco, Cleveland, Baltimore, Kansas City … pretty much every big city and lots of smaller ones, 700 riots in all.

Why did they end, and when will they finally return? Barry and Walnuts have all the answers, after the jump.

MORE »


IRAQ

Mission Accomplished! Iraq No Longer World’s Shittiest Place To Live

Tuesday, March 20th, 2007

FUNNY PICTURES

‘08 Candidates Fight Over Minority Body Parts

Monday, March 5th, 2007

REPUBLICANS

Great Schism of ‘07: Late Night Shots Locks Undesirables In Open Forum

Thursday, February 22nd, 2007

Late Night Shots — the closed social network which allows you to explore Washington DC’s social landscape and bar scene — has been such a success that its leaders are forced to divide the LNS crowd between the super-white cretins and the lesser lights of binge-drinking takedown-impregnating conservative youth forced to live amongst the minorities of DC before going back to San Diego and becoming a defense lobbyist.

Yes, there is a Great Schism. The invitation-only special forum will be seductively open for everyone to read, but only the upper crust will be able to opine on Muslims, morning-after pills and the “Ethiopians” who scurry about Adams Morgan. Everybody else is stuck in the “B Forum.” Read the memo, after the jump.

MORE »


FUNNY PICTURES

NRA’s Secret Graphic Novel Revealed!

Friday, December 22nd, 2006

Pro-gun Democrats did better in the midterms than probably any other class of politician, but the National Rifle Association is not in the business of reflecting moderate political reality. The NRA lives off memberships, and the standard card-carrying member has two enemies: Democrats and … deer, most likely.

But even loyalists go soft, as the GOP learned last month, and you need some Grade A propaganda to get people riled up again. Let no one accuse the NRA of shirking its duty. Freedom In Peril: Guarding the 2nd Amendment in the 21st Century, is a spectacularly beautiful graphic novel. Here, for example, is one of the biggest threats to the white suburban hunter: dirty hippies and their evil sidekicks: the dynamite-carrying owl, sinister pig, angry Wall Street bull, dire wolf, terror chicken and Land Lobster:


We’ve got a lot more from this super-secret advance copy of the NRA’s hot new comic, after the jump.

MORE »