We are very fond of the Talking Points Memo, and their many auxiliary sites that do reporting-type things for us to parasitize. So it is in the spirit of great love and affection that we must point out to David Kurtz, who wonders why the endless Coleman/Franken recount drama “still seems to be flying below the national political radar,” that nobody cares because it’s boring and complicated and both candidates are lame, the end. [TPM]

Oh look, Norm Coleman’s still trying to be a Senator. Well, what does he want now? Here are his Republican friends telling us how important it is for Norm Coleman to keep his Senate seat. Uhh isn’t that up to the courts to decide? Then, at :58, Sen. Jim Inhofe gets to the point, that we should give Norm Coleman lots of money, presumably for his legal funds. Get to it, America! You may not have a job or a house or savings or even a SINGLE AMERICAN DOLLAR, but Norm Coleman needs some cash ASAP! [YouTube]

Last time we checked in on notorious idiot wingnut Rep. Michele Bachmann of Minnesota, she was almost losing her safe House seat after proposing Witch Trials for every Democratic member of Congress, because of socialism. She squeaked by, though, and thank God, because she’s funny. With the SOCIALISM WITCH TRIAL SCANDAL finally out of the way, she’s speaking freely again. MORE »

• Today is Day 1 of the Coleman-Franken battle royale. The real winners are the people of Minnesota, and also probably Al Franken. [The Corner]
• Most New Yorkers blame Caroline Kennedy for Caroline Kennedy’s decision to ruin democracy and publicly disgracing the esteemed office of Chuck Schumer’s intern by failing to get a Senate appointment. [CNN Political Ticker]
• Former (!) President George W. Bush won’t be allowed to take all of his diplomacy bonus prizes back to Texas. Such winnings include: the weird cowboy shit given to him by Australia’s PM, a (hardcover) book of sonnets from Putin, and a promise necklace from King Abdullah bin Abdul Aziz al-Saud. [Washington Post]
• Good to know: Bill Kristol was downsized from the Times because he was a terrible writer who made up facts for his weekly sloppy fictions, not because he is a conservative or Sarah Palin’s friend. [Daily Beast]
• RNC Chairperson Marc Ambinder has selected your new Republican Last Great Hope for 2012: it’s pretend human “Dirk Kempthorne,” which is an anagram for “Kathryn Jean Lopez”. [Marc Ambinder]

Wow, this is a kind of a weird thing to say: Norm Coleman told the AP that anybody besides Al Franken would have really kicked his ass in that Senate race. Why is Norm Coleman pointing out that he could have been an even bigger loser than he already is, locked in an endless recount with a retired comedian who didn’t even live in Minnesota for 30 years? MORE »

Norm Coleman, the humanoid Flowbee and lizard-king who represented Minnesota in the Senate, once, would like to be a senator again but the nasty courts are still legislating from the bench. So while he waits for whatever legal stuff to confirm that he is, in fact, a loser, he has taken a(nother) new, awesomer job. MORE »

Norm Coleman is the apparent loser of a thirty-year war in Minnesota against the unfairly diapered comedian Al Franken. Coleman does not believe he has lost, though, so Democrats are doing their best to drive that message home by totally fucking with him in a million petty little ways. MORE »

Well, the Minnesota state canvassing board is set to certify Al Franken the winner of the Senate race against Norm Coleman. But maybe because it is Minnesota and the cold slows everything down (?), it will take a week for those certified results to show up … on a certificate. That gives Coleman the opportunity to file many lawsuits challenging the results, which were, in truth, probably bullshit anyway. MORE »

Your faithful Star-Tribune has a little ticker dealy on their front page and look, Al Franken is ahead by nearly 250 votes! The Coleman v. Franken recount has been going on since when, the Carter administration or so? Are both of these people even still alive, or have they been replaced yet by Adam Sandler and a Flowbee? [Star-Tribune]

Let’s check in with our favorite state, where an unfunny television performer is locked in a Mexican Death Match with St. Paul sleazebag Norm Coleman’s wife’s legs. In other words, LIZARD PEOPLE FTW! A judge somewhere in Minnesota, this state where voters treat their ballots like kids’ menus, just ruled that Franken will not get the vote of this one goofus who also wrote “LIZARD PEOPLE,” twice, on a ballot that also featured the choice of Franken over Coleman. MORE »

Have you been paying to the Minnesota Senate recount still, America? It’s still going on! We’d assumed that Al Franken had lost unofficially, and then the Illinois governor started being hilarious, and that was that. So, Jonathan Chait of TNR, what can you tell those of us who haven’t really been paying attention? “If you haven’t been paying attention to the Minnesota Senate race, it now looks very likely that Al Franken is going to win.” Hmm! MORE »