minnesota
Court To Cook County Attorney: No More Creeping On Teenagers, Please
It just isn’t a good time to be a public figure in the Chicago area if you’re into the teen girl thing. First everyone threw up in their mouths a little when Mel Reynolds announced he would run for Illinois’ 2nd Congressional District. Now, teen-romance man/Cook County* Attorney Tim Scannell has himself a Harassment Restraining [...]
Sad Bachmannite Party Clown Bradlee Dean Invites Children To Commit Arson, For Freedom
Wonkette fan favorite Bradlee Dean is back at it with his tireless campaign to save the youths. Why do we need Michele Bachmann BFF Bradlee Dean more than ever? Because freedom needs brush fires, duh: Need for the Program: It is ever more urgent to use the internet to get our message out, since this [...]
Nobody Expects The Minnesota-Teens-Who-Approve-Of-Gay-Marriage Inquisition!
We all know that the holy rite of communion is not available to divorced Catholics, remarried Catholics, and nuns who are hospital administrators and allow women whose lives are in immediate danger from their pregnancies to get abortions. (And may get excommunicated, depending.) (Oh and it’s still available to priests who rape their charges, because [...]
Minnesota Congressman Keith Ellison Correctly Calls Opponent ‘Scumbag’ In Totally Harmonious Debate
So here is this Chris Fields fellow, running against OH NOEZ A REVERSE RACIST MUSLIN TERRORIST, Minnesota Congressman Keith Ellison, and apparently he is a “low-life scumbag.” We know this because Keith Ellison said so during their debate this morning, and he hasn’t lied to us yet! Chris Fields on the other hand, is sort [...]
Sad Face: Wonkette Bread And Butter Michele Bachmann May Be In Trouble
We’d really hate to jinx anything, so we are typing this with our fingers crossed: America’s Craziest Legislator Michele Bachmann (R-Circular Ruins), despite the advantages of a fanatical national following and a very conservative district, just might not be a shoo-in for reelection this fall. (Also, OW! OW! OW! Do not try to type that [...]
Exclusive! Here is Your Picture Of Kevin Yoder All Nude-Like In The Sea Of Galilee, Wait No It Isn’t
Kevin Yoder, fourth from right, naked as Yahweh made him. UPDATED Multiple people are writing in to tell Your Editrix she is the worst reporter in the world — no argument — and that our EXCLUSIVE Kevin Yoder pic is in fact of Rep. Tom Graves of Georgia. If this is true, and there will [...]
What Is Al Franken Famous For Today? (Hint: It Is ‘Rape Jokes’)
This Al Franken guy, you ever heard of him? Senator from Minnesota. Wrote some books, we think. Used to be on Saturday Night Live for a while, we guess. Not sure, is there anything else he is famous for, Weekly Standard (via, naturally, Drudge)?
Endless Cummer Begins: Minnesota Pol Caught With Live Boy — And The Pol Is A Democrat?
Well, this makes no sense at all. A Minnesota state representative was caught having Rest Stop Hijinks with a 17-year-old boy — and the state representative is a Democrat? No no no, Democratic politicians get nabbed making sex on grown up ladies; it is 100 percent always true forever that if there is a live [...]
Undercover Bathhouse Spy & Michele Bachmann Mentor Wins MN GOP Primary
Hey, remember Allen Quist, the homophobic Gollum lookalike who Mother Jones profiled a few months back? You know, Michele Bachman’s political mentor, the chap who “went undercover at an adult bookstore and a gay bathhouse in an effort to prove to a local newspaper reporter that they had become a ‘haven for anal intercourse’”? YES, [...]
What Are Humble Followers Of Jesus Burning To The Ground Today?
A portly neckbearded gentleman with a pink shirt and a blowtorch sets fire to a box of Honey Nut Cheerios to show General Mills that he does not care for its gay-friendly policies. It does not go quite as brilliantly as he planned, thanks to wind and highly flammable sugar. But what else has been [...]
Keith Ellison Opponent Explains Elusive Nature Of ‘Facts’ And Quotes To Lucky Reporter
Have you ever wondered how people in the public eye feel when they are blatantly misrepresented by the media? Well, wonder no longer! They feel sad! You can see this in the following amazing transcript between Minnesota Congressman Keith Ellison’s Republican opponent, Chris Fields, and lucky CityPages reporter Andy Mannix. Chris Fields: “I just want [...]
Hero Minnesotans Protest General Mills For Hating Straight Marriage, Call For Death To Gays
These nice protesters went to Betty Crocker Drive in Golden Valley, Minnesota, to throw all their Wheaties and Cheerios and Bisquick and Gogurt and Hamburger Helper and Pillsbury Crescent Rolls and Gold Medal flour and La Saltena spaghetti right in the face of stupid old General Mills, by collecting all General Mills’ products from their [...]
And Here Is a Photo of Michele Bachmann Disguised As a Pig
This is your Monday Fun Post picture of famous nut Michele Bachmann dressed in some kind of furry costume whilst campaigning for reelection in Hugo, Minnesota this weekend. That’s nice. Is this because Michele Bachmann loves pork barrel spending on the pork industry, in her home state? So meta! Or maybe she is simply having [...]
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