minnesota
It has been over a month since a crazed member of the Tea Party has Swift Boated a double-amputee Iraq veteran. Luckily, Minnesota state Rep. Mary Kriffmeyer has reset the GOP’s workplace-accident clock, with a fragging of fellow Republican John Kriesel! She mad! Why? Because he pushed through this ridiculous (and broadly unpopular) Vikings stadium [...]
Minnesota State Patrol had a great idea, seeing as they are bored and hate everyone, particularly Occupy protesters? The Occupy protesters are just hanging around the central location of Peavey Plaza, causing problems, wasting cardboard, not getting jobs, so in lieu of beating them with a stick, the police department decided it would work better [...]
One thing we at Wonkette HQ don’t “get” is the inescapable conclusion in American life that being “fiscally conservative” is somehow synonymous with being “fiscally prudent.” Case in point numero one: deadbeat Tea Party Congressman Joe Walsh, who is so fiscally conservative he lives in his office and refuses to pay child support! Case in [...]
ST. PAUL, Minn. Michael Brodkorb is an unemployed worker who is carrying a heavy burden like so many others during these challenging economic times. After losing his job, he filed for unemployment. Every day he waited at the mailbox, hoping this would be the day he could turn his lights back on. Then it happened. [...]
When Minnesota Senate Majority Leader Amy Koch resigned superfast last December, she tried to pull the Sarah Palin Special “I didn’t want Minnesota to suffer a lame duck leader” total tripe and utter nonsense. Hey it was worth a shot! She was rather cut off in the knees on that, though, when the new majority [...]
Here we were getting all excited about the consequences of Minnesota’s new congressional map on Michele Bachmann’s career, but alas, she’s running away from her competition! The state has thrown Bachmann and veteran Democratic Rep. Betty McCollum’s homes into the new 4th District. We would’ve had a delightful race on ours hands, especially — as [...]
Whoa hey, look at those numbers in Minnesota, Missouri and Colorado for Mittens. Two out of three isn’t so bad. And the sheer numbers of votes — tens and hundreds of thousands! What a world. The only problem is that those are his numbers from the 2008 primary cycle, when he still ended up losing [...]
Uhh, wasn’t this supposed to be wrapped up by now? No. Not when all your candidates are so terrible. Rick Santorum is back in the race, in other words. He won Missouri! That’s … let’s see, 55% for Santorum, which is DOUBLE Mitt Romney’s second place finish. Meanwhile, in the “near the Mormons” state of [...]
Rick Santorum is going to ruin America tonight! No but listen: The nominating contests in Colorado, Missouri, and Minnesota tonight are non-binding, inconsequential in general because Mitt Romney will still win the nomination, and… dumb… we don’t know… but will possibly have the effect of crowning Rick Santorum as the main alternative to Mittens, which [...]
Were you, like us, very ultra super secretly sighing to yourself — under your breath when you were absolutely sure no one could hear you — hasn’t this campaign season gotten sorta boring since Michele Bachmann dropped out? WELL SIGH NO MORE: her surrealist sideshow is coming BACK following Michele’s announcement today that she will [...]
Oh, here’s a tragedy: Minnesota’s (now former) Senate Majority Leader Amy Koch had been working so hard on a constitutional amendment barring same-sex marriage in her state, but ALAS, the amendment couldn’t be approved in time to keep her own straight marriage safe from harm — she resigned her Senate leadership post last week after [...]
It doesn’t really seem terribly equitable for Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents to only be feverishly deporting thousands and thousands of undocumented dark-skinned residents all the time now, does it? And America is about nothing if not fairness! So to keep things “even,” ICE has been steadily trying to kick out thousands of U.S. citizens [...]
America’s second-most favorite whackadoodle ex-governor Jesse Ventura (whose crazy gave Minnesota such a hangover it then elected Tim Pawlenty) managed to gather enough bored reporters together to formally announce that he tragically lost his important lawsuit trying to get the government to quit letting TSA agents touch his nuts all the time. In revenge, he [...]
The dimming dollar-store bulb of Michele Bachmann’s “energy-efficient fluorescent bulbs are socialist” presidential campaign is down to a stack of leftover informational pamphlets, a couple of desperate spam emails begging for “emergency” money and, uh, some guy who thanked Michele Bachmann for running so that he doesn’t have to vote for “next best thing” dead [...]
Ron Paul has unsurprisingly lost another round of that game he keeps on playing, called “Ron Paul vs. The World.” This loss was suffered specifically by a one Colin Wilkinson, a Ron Paul supporter and time travel survivor, who was just “rattling his snare drum” like he did when the British were coming, when the [...]
