Tag Archives: minnesota

  Mad about another thing

Here, Rage At This Dickhead American Dentist Who Murders Beautiful African Lions For Fun

Hi, I'm Cecil. A bad American man killed me. Please have Sarah McLachlan to do commercial and end this.
Didn’t we just say recently that we are not against hunting? We did say that, and it is still true, but let us clarify real fast. It’s one thing to hunt in that real Native American way, where you use the whole animal and you respect that it gave its life to feed, nourish, clothe you and whatever else. It’s even one thing to be a redneck from Mississippi (hey y’all) and go out early in the morning and kill a deer, as long as you bring us deer meat or invite us over for deer chili. But it is a whole different goddamn thing to be a piece of trash American who travels across the globe to find new, exotic animals to murder, for no reason nobler than the fact that you really have a hard-on for murdering animals, you sick fuck. Introduce yourself to Walter Palmer of Minnesota: Read more on Here, Rage At This Dickhead American Dentist Who Murders Beautiful African Lions For Fun…
  in the trees

Let’s Go Spit All Over Minneapolis, Because It’s Legal Now!

A dozen members of the Minneapolis city council voted Friday to repeal century-old laws against lurking and spitting, leaving the city’s population dangerously vulnerable to train-jumpers and tuberculosis carriers. Critics of the laws cited a damning ACLU report that showed they were disproportionately used in more recent times against minorities, with African-Americans, who make up 19 percent of the city’s population, accounting for 59 percent of lurking arrests and 93 percent of spitting arrests over the past several years. Read more on Let’s Go Spit All Over Minneapolis, Because It’s Legal Now!…
  nice time!

Minnesota Cordially Invites You To Come Gay It Up With Your Hot Dish Husband

Sadly, the horse is a homophobe and has collected $176K in a GoFundMe
So here is a nice thing! A Minnesota nice thing. Maybe Gov. Mike Pence is trying to beg all The Gays to come back to Indiana, because all that stuff about legal discrimination was just a big mistake, but Minnesota’s tourism department, Explore Minnesota, has that Pence guy beat all to heck with this ad inviting All The Gays to come do their recreational funtimes all over the Land of 10,000 Lakes (a good thousand of which you’d expect to be gay lakes themselves). Read more on Minnesota Cordially Invites You To Come Gay It Up With Your Hot Dish Husband…
  Home Of The Brave

Hero Patriot Lady Saves Minnesota Neighborhood From Scary Muslim Mom And Dad

They DO look pretty scary -- like they could ground you or take away your phone privileges
Another Responsible American with a Gun has done her part to keep the nation safe from ISIS terrorists: A twitchy 48-year-old lady in the Minneapolis suburb of Maple Grove, Minnesota, pulled what appeared to be a rifle — it turned out to be a pellet gun — on a middle-aged Muslim couple last Friday for being all jihad-looking in the neighborhood where they’d driven to pick up their teenaged son from a friend’s house. Read more on Hero Patriot Lady Saves Minnesota Neighborhood From Scary Muslim Mom And Dad…
  Somewhere Somehow Somebody Must Have Kicked You Around Some

Rand Paul: Why Help Iraqi Refugees? We Won, So Suck It, Losers.

Somewhere somehow somebody must have kicked him around some. Maybe in the head.
Libertarian Superstar Rand Paul brought his trademark “Every issue must be discussed like a 2 AM bull session in the Objectivist Dorm” sensibilities to the issue of resettling Iraqi refugees, explaining that we don’t need to help those people, because for godssake, we won the war over there. Doesn’t anyone remember how we won that war? Read more on Rand Paul: Why Help Iraqi Refugees? We Won, So Suck It, Losers….
  Knock It Off With All The Local Control Will You?

Missouri GOP Knows Cities Can’t Be Trusted To Make Their Own Minimum Wage Laws

You weirdos just knock it off with your local control, OK?
Republicans in the Missouri State Senate are the latest to jump on the trendy new thing where Small Government Conservatives blather on endlessly about the sanctity of states’ rights and local control, and then turn around and pass state laws to prevent towns and cities from passing laws that might differ from Republican policies. If they have their way, local governments will be prohibited from setting their own minimum wage, as well as from restricting use of plastic bags, and maybe other stuff as well. Because freedom and local control are beautiful, except when they aren’t. Read more on Missouri GOP Knows Cities Can’t Be Trusted To Make Their Own Minimum Wage Laws…
  Guilt By Representation

Muslim Congressman Keith Ellison Obviously Behind Shooting In Texas Because Muslim

Another axe-wielding Minnesota maniac
Dead Breitbart’s Foundation For Frothing Paranoia brought us a whole new frontier in guilt by association Tuesday, revealing the shocking connections between the idiot jihadist-wannabes who tried to shoot up a stupid anti-Islam hatefest in Texas and a Somali radical Islamist who used to live in Minnesota Rep. Keith Ellison’s congressional district. Hey, Keith Ellison, why aren’t you reining in people who once lived in your district, you terrorist sympathizer, you? Read more on Muslim Congressman Keith Ellison Obviously Behind Shooting In Texas Because Muslim…
  Would You Like Phlegm With That?

Minnesota Republicans Solve Pressing Problem Of Waitresses Making Too Much Money

We'd forgotten that Vic Tayback was in the movie, too...
The Republican-controlled Minnesota House of Representatives passed a nice fuck-the-poors bill Wednesday. The bill would cut the minimum wage for workers who make at least $4 an hour in tips, to Save Jobs, and also maybe because the state’s restaurant industry lobbied heavily for the bill. To save jobs, dontcha know. Then they probably made a Hillary-at-Chipotle joke, which is all the rage with Republicans these days. Read more on Minnesota Republicans Solve Pressing Problem Of Waitresses Making Too Much Money…
  And next they'll ban talking!

Do Not Gaze Upon The Minnesota State Senate Like Common Eyeball-Havers, During Debate!

You will respect the sanctity of this hallowed place!
The Minnesota state Senate is a DIGNIFIED PLACE, and they will not have you misbehaving! Yes, the august institution that foisted Michele Bachmann on an unsuspecting world has rules, and you shan’t defy them! For one thing, they will be keeping their longstanding ban on members looking directly into each others’ eyes, for that is a violation of both decorum and privacy! Read more on Do Not Gaze Upon The Minnesota State Senate Like Common Eyeball-Havers, During Debate!…
  In With The New

Meet Your New Michele Bachmann, Same As Your Old Michele Bachmann

Image via KARE video While Yr Wonkette joins the rest of the nation in mourning the loss of Rep. Michele Bachmann’s unique brand of political wisdom, we look forward to the arrival of her Republican successor in the House of Representatives, former talk radio host and failed gubernatorial candidate Tom Emmer. Read more on Meet Your New Michele Bachmann, Same As Your Old Michele Bachmann…
  You Can't Scare Me I'm Stickin' With The Union

Delta Fires 26-Year Employee For Being A Total Communist (Wanting A Minimum Wage Hike In Minnesota)

Your wild-eyed labor radical, 2014
So here’s a little reminder of Why Unions Matter: they give employees at least a fighting chance against bullshit like this: Kip Hedges, a baggage handler at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport who had worked for Delta Airlines for 26 years, was fired by the airline after he spoke in favor of increasing Minnesota’s minimum wage to $15 an hour. Delta said that he had been canned for “disparaging” the airline. Read more on Delta Fires 26-Year Employee For Being A Total Communist (Wanting A Minimum Wage Hike In Minnesota)…
  Also Did We Mention God? She's Big On God

In Surprising Farewell Address, Michele Bachmann Admits Liking Freedom, God

Here's the story, of a crazy lady, who was talking to a devil to her right ...
Michele Bachmann gave her farewell address to the House of Representatives Tuesday, and while we were worried that she might just stand up and announce that all her email should be forwarded to Shelly@CrazyEyes.com, she actually did deliver a thoroughly Bachmannian speech. It hits all the required notes: Freedom, In God We Trust, Why the House is the Best House, plus several extra helpings of God stuff just to be sure. Read more on In Surprising Farewell Address, Michele Bachmann Admits Liking Freedom, God…
  Nearly was An Also-Ran

What Happened To The ‘Gays Cause Autism’ Lady? Your Fringe Candidate Roundup!

There's always 2016...
We know what you’re thinking. “Did the bizarro Illinois lady who said that autism, dementia, and tornados are God’s punishment for abortions and ghey marriage actually get elected to Congress?” This being the kind of election year that brought Joni Ernst and James Lankford to the Senate, you’ve got to ask yourselves: “Do I even want to know?” Well, do ya, punks? Let’s just see what happened to some of the more… colorful candidates last week (mostly, the color is red with vein-bursting rage). Read more on What Happened To The ‘Gays Cause Autism’ Lady? Your Fringe Candidate Roundup!…
  national treasures

God Closes Michele Bachmann Door, Opens Joni Ernst Window

Tinfoil flags are best
Today, in the gloom of the morning after, we must come together to give thanks to our assorted heathen gods for Joni Ernst, Jester-Elect of the United States Senate. Joni Ernst is an anchor for us to cling to in the midst of a turbulent midterm election that saw our electoral expectations decimated all across the country. Kansans, the majority of whom had been demonstrably screwed by Sam Brownback’s interpretive dance of conservative budgeting, at first seemed to poised to sensibly fire him but then rewarded him with another term in office. Massachusetts, having apparently forgotten the hideous ordeal of getting gay marriage and socialized health care under Mittens Romnington, decided to roll the dice with another Republican governor. Read more on God Closes Michele Bachmann Door, Opens Joni Ernst Window…
  It Gets Stupider

Wingnuts Fight For Sacred Right To Keep Bullying Gays, Who Aren’t Real Anyway

Actual result of anti-bullying laws
Here’s a very nice thing that grew out of a very ugly thing, and a very ugly thing in reaction to it: Minnesota’s got a new “Safe and Supportive Schools Act” aimed at combatting bullying and making schools safe and supportive, don’t you know, for LGBT young people. It was passed earlier this year as part of a settlement in a civil-rights lawsuit, and following a string of suicides in the Anoka-Hennepin school district. And of course, now that the law is being implemented, a bunch of wingnuts are fighting to reverse it, because it is Gay Indoctrination that is oppressive to decent Christians who hate gays, with all the Christian love in their mean, pinched hearts. And that is why on Saturday, the “Minnesota Child Protection League” is having a big fundraising dinner headlined by two of America’s premier advocates of gay panic, Matt Barber and all-around Loon Queen Michele Bachmann. Read more on Wingnuts Fight For Sacred Right To Keep Bullying Gays, Who Aren’t Real Anyway…