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Posts Tagged ‘minnesota’

TIM PAWLENTY ANNOUNCES BID FOR PRESIDENCY

Donate Your Freedom—And, You Know, Money!!—To The TPAW-2012

Thursday, October 1st, 2009


Have you checked out TimPawlenty.com today yet? Oh, please do! Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty, who self-identifies as TPAW, has made up some new thing called “Tim Pawlenty’s Freedom First PAC.” It sounds like a mid-range BBQ place on a highway somewhere, but it is not! It is, according to TPAW, an “organization dedicated to putting freedom first again in America. By helping candidates and translating our ideas into policies that everyone can relate to and support, we can turn back the growth of Washington and renew the promise of freedom.” As you can see, this is markedly, markedly worse than a BBQ place. MORE »


TIGER WOODS HAS SO MUCH MONEY!

Michele Bachmann’s Own Constituents Were So Mean To Her!

Friday, August 28th, 2009

Meh, who wants to watch this whole thing? But it’s worth looking at the beginning to see her booed by town hall attendees for making a joke about Tiger Woods loaning the president $300 trillion. “HEALTHCARE, THIS IS A HEALTHCARE FORUM,” they shout, which is just a deeply unserious thing to yell in a public forum when your congresswoman is trying to get out a joke. Good times start around the 2:15 mark. [YouTube/Dusty Trice]


GOODBYE FOREVER

Sprightly Forest Creature QUITS Latest Race Against Bachmann

Tuesday, August 4th, 2009

Ancient mysterious woodland elf Elwyn Tinklenberg, Jesus-envoy to Minnesota’s freshwater meth hellscape, has dropped his latest (third?) bid to kill Michele Bachmann, politically, in 2010. He enjoyed a few days as America’s #1 guy in 2008 when it looked like he could’ve picked off Bachmann in the eleventh hour after she went nuts, as usual, but in an instance when people were actually paying attention. But fear not, liberal sallies! The chivalrous Elwyn quitteth only to avoid an ugly primary fight with a certain Tarryl Clark, who is… let’s see here… oooooh, a lady-person. Hello miss lady who could easily be Michele Bachmann’s younger sister! [TPM]


POLS WHO CALL CONSTITUENTS STUPID = WONKETTE HEROES

Tuesday, July 28th, 2009
  • CONGRESSMAN INSULTS MEMORY OF FIREFIGHTERS & NYC COPS & GIULIANI FROM 9/11: Democratic Rep. Collin Peterson of Minnesota is in “hot water” for telling The Politico, awesomely, that “25 percent of my people believe the Pentagon and Rumsfeld were responsible for taking the twin towers down. That’s why I don’t do town meetings.” Okay, but what does the insane 75% believe? [Star Tribune]

SELLOUTS

Al Franken Now Beholden To Republican Special Interests

Friday, July 10th, 2009

Do not mess with this clown.The newly installed stooge/senator from Minnesota, veteran circus performer Al Franken, had to wait, what, eight months to assume office? And during that time he frittered away many an hour in court, wasting the People’s Money on the frivolous lawsuit that was eventually decided in his favor. Norm Coleman warned him from the very beginning that The People would not look kindly on this frivolity and wasteful spending! Which is why it’s funny that Minnesota’s Republican Party has had to cut Franken a check for $96,000 to cover lawsuit-related fees. MORE »


NO MORE PHOTOSHOPPED DIAPERS FOR YOU

Al Franken Already Disappoints With Lack Of Clownishness

Tuesday, July 7th, 2009

Bring back this guy.What kind of a so-called “comedian” is this soon-to-be Senator Al Franken, that he shows up in Washington D.C. without a fright wig and refuses to fake-hump Harry Reid during his first press conference in town? He was resolutely quiet and unfunny during the whole recount, which started, hmm, back in the Carter era, and now he is still not funny and WTF??? Why, it is almost as if he is a smart person who decided to run for public office and, having worked quite hard for several years to get elected to that office, is determined to act like an adult! BOOO. [The Caucus]


NOT EVEN A DAY'S BREAK

Al Franken Wastes No Time, Already Begging For More Campaign Money

Tuesday, June 30th, 2009

Al Franken wants your money again.
It’s almost like they had this campaign-money solicitation prepared even before Norm Coleman conceded!


AL WHO?

Minnesota Supreme Courts Rules Unanimously For Al Franken, Whatever That Means

Tuesday, June 30th, 2009

Cry, emo Norm.Nearly a year ago, in a faraway land called “Minnesota Nice,” two Patriotic Jews fought an epic battle, if by “fought” you mean “people who were already going to vote for president also voted for one of these dorks (or the Lizard People) running for U.S. Senate.” One of them, the rich Hollywood liberal from Minneapolis, wasn’t anybody’s idea of a prize, but he beat the other guy, some kind of lamer from St. Paul. And that other guy, Norm Coleman, who always loses every campaign, just would not give up, because if he admitted defeat then Barack Obama would have 60 Democrats in the Senate and, well, let’s just say it will be “Good-bye Christianity and Hello Women’s Studies & the Hip Hop.” Anyway, the state Supreme Court says Franken won, the end. [Star Tribune]


AMERICA'S LONGEST CRISIS

Norm Coleman Forced To Pay Al Franken $94,783 For Losing Election

Thursday, June 11th, 2009

Give me Stalin, and St. Paul ...The 2008 Minnesota Senate race is still going strong, nearly eight months later. What comical new developments can we enjoy together? Oh, how about this, from the Star-Tribune: “A three-judge panel today required Republican Norm Coleman to pay Democrat Al Franken $94,783 to cover court costs …. Coleman will also have to pay interest on the $94,783 until the debt is paid.” And which three judges added further expensive humiliation to Norm’s life of failure? The answer may surprise you! MORE »


NOOOOOOOO!

‘Common Sense Conservative’ Plotting Run Against Michele Bachmann

Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009

She opens her mouth to speak and, What comes out's a mystery. Thought about, not understood, She's achin' to be ....Can you imagine America without its favorite dingbat congresslady, baby-farming conservative icon Michele Bachmann? Would we be able to laugh, ever again? Well get ready for eternal sorrow, because some attorney in her district is maybe planning to challenge Bachmann in the GOP primary next year! His name is Chris Johnston, and he is the kind of Islamic Terrorist who would dare to question the intellectual integrity and public record of the only Real American congresslady in all of Washington and/or Minnesota! MORE »


ANYBODY INTERESTED?

Round 40 Bazillion Of Franken/Coleman Death Match Commences Today

Monday, June 1st, 2009

The most interesting thing about this post is the image that goes with it.Nobody in Minnesota even cares about this dumb recount deal anymore, they would be happy to have as their second senator Jesse Ventura in a tutu and a stocking cap, but Norm Coleman and Al Franken still want “the courts” to decide the election that happened seven months ago: you know, the one that hinges on like fourteen votes because neither candidate was really any more popular than the other. Ugh. MORE »