Vulgar sex clown John Edwards is ending a three-month public silence tonight with a lecture of sorts at Indiana University. He will discuss politics for a cool $35,000, which is more than many American adults make in a year of manual labor. Then he will probably go to Iowa to get them ground ops all geared up for 2012! He’s gotta win it one of these days! [Indiana Daily Student]

Last Thursday, Hillary Clinton secretly ditched the media and snuck away to Chapel Hill, NC to meet with John “Corporates” Edwards at his $900 billion home. May we guess that they weren’t merely eating crumpets together? We think we may. Barack Obama, too, was supposed to chat chez Edwards today, but that meeting has been cancelled. Cancelled! What is this Edwards conjuring? Eh, he probably just had to work overtime at The Mill today. [TPM Election Central]

John Edwards will end his 49th run for president Wednesday after failing to capitalize on his angry hobo-under-the-bridge message. He will make his announcement at 1 p.m. EST from New Orleans, where he will probably tell us to go fuck ourselves for being apathetic to Insurance Companies, his campaign’s central theme. It is not clear whether he will endorse either candidate. [AP/Breitbart]

Gah! It’s John Edwards actually looking like a middle-aged haggard loser! He should run with this “ugliness” tactic — might help him connect with that lower-middle class mill crowd he keeps jabbering about. [MSNBC]