Here’s something that may come as a shock to you: Iraqis don’t want us in their country. No, seriously, it’s true. The Washington Post is reporting on a new study that found Iraqis of all sectarian and ethnic groups blame the U.S. occupying forces for the violence that plagues them. So we’re packing up and leaving, right? Right? MORE »

All 14th anniversaries deserve extra special festivities, and the Human Rights Campaign is celebrating the big 1-4 of the military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy for gay soldiers by… asking if candidates will get rid of it! All this week, the organization has been queerying each Democratic candidate, “If you are elected President, what concrete steps would you take to overturn ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell?’” Hillary Rodham Clinton, perhaps swayed by her platonic lover Keith Kerr, responded that she will bring her “strength and experience to bear to end this outdated and outmoded policy.” But your husband the President Bill made that policy! Clinton must obey Clinton or all Clintons fail! MORE »

“The head of Iran’s elite Revolutionary Guards dismissed the possibility of U.S. military action against Iran and warned that his forces would respond with an ‘even more decisive’ strike if attacked, an Iranian news agency reported Friday.” [MSNBC]

MORE »

Kids today: what’s the matter with them? According to the Navy, they are actually aliens. Danger Room found a Navy recruiting powerpoint presentation and apparently these nutty “millennials” have crazy ideas about not joining the Navy. Why? Because they are “coddled” and “narcissistic praise junkies,” of course! Oh, and because of Iraq. Also did you know they have complicated text messaging codes? And if you want to convince them to sign their life away to Uncle Sam, you’ll need to crack that code. MORE »

Need a job? But can’t stomach indie movie references from old congresswomen? Here’s one you can look into: the US Armed Forces seem to have an urgent need for 67 “Personel Effects Specialists.” This job is also known as “doing something with all these dead soldiers.” So submit your resume today to work with the US Army Casualty and Morturary Affairs Operations Center at the Joint Personal Effect Depot, at Aberdeen Proving Grounds, the Happiest Place on Earth^TM! “Former military experience preferred, but NOT required.”

NEW! 67 Temp Positions: Personal Effects Specialist (FT Shifts to Aug. 17) [serco]

There’s another reason the White House is pushing this immigration-amnesty thing so hard: The bill also lets illegal immigrants join the military and fight our imperial wars — and then they can become citizens. MORE »

Yeah, based on the picture, the big one there’s in no condition to give consent. MORE »

* Rudy for prez: because he will never put a de-clawed ferret into his ass. [Horse's Mouth]
* Hillary changes private jets more often than you change underwear, even has the days sewn in them like you. [NYP]
* “The only thing that can save this country is a military coup.” [NRO]
* Oprah gets on the Barry Hussein train. [Newsmax]
* Military took away the porn and now goes for the blogs. Way fight for fascism, fuckers. [Wired]
* The Speaker of the Palestinian Legislative Council would like to reiterate his point in case anyone is unsure: Death to America. [Jerusalem Post]
* Bill O’Reilly insults someone every 6.8 seconds. [Romenesko]

Lt. Col. William H. “Lockhart” Steele thought he had it made. He was a top commander at one the US’s fastest-growing Iraqi prisons, he was making fast friends with the prisoners, and he had a way with the ladies. Then those desk jockeys in Washington put the hammer down. MORE »

Wicca, the worship of chubby girls showing generous amounts of cleavage and pissing off your parents, is now officially recognized by the Department of Veterans Affairs. The VA announced that it will begin engraving a Wiccan pentagram on the headstones of fallen heroes now eating turkey legs at that Great Renaissance Faire in the Sky. MORE »