Hillary Disses Hubby’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” Crapromise
Friday, November 30th, 2007
All 14th anniversaries deserve extra special festivities, and the Human Rights Campaign is celebrating the big 1-4 of the military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy for gay soldiers by… asking if candidates will get rid of it! All this week, the organization has been queerying each Democratic candidate, “If you are elected President, what concrete steps would you take to overturn ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell?’” Hillary Rodham Clinton, perhaps swayed by her platonic lover Keith Kerr, responded that she will bring her “strength and experience to bear to end this outdated and outmoded policy.” But your husband the President Bill made that policy! Clinton must obey Clinton or all Clintons fail! MORE »
All 14th anniversaries deserve extra special festivities, and the Human Rights Campaign is celebrating the big 1-4 of the military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy for gay soldiers by… asking if candidates will get rid of it! All this week, the organization has been queerying each Democratic candidate, “If you are elected President, what concrete steps would you take to overturn ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell?’” Hillary Rodham Clinton, perhaps swayed by her platonic lover Keith Kerr, responded that she will bring her “strength and experience to bear to end this outdated and outmoded policy.” But your husband the President Bill made that policy! Clinton must obey Clinton or all Clintons fail! MORE »
Need a job? But can’t stomach indie movie references from old congresswomen? Here’s one you can look into: the US Armed Forces seem to have an urgent need for 67 “Personel Effects Specialists.” This job is also known as “doing something with all these dead soldiers.” So submit your resume today to work with the US Army Casualty and Morturary Affairs Operations Center at the Joint Personal Effect Depot, at Aberdeen Proving Grounds, the Happiest Place on EarthTM! “Former military experience preferred, but NOT required.”
Yeah, based on the picture, the big one there’s in no condition to give consent. 
Lt. Col. William H. “Lockhart” Steele thought he had it made. He was a top commander at one the US’s fastest-growing Iraqi prisons, he was making fast friends with the prisoners, and he had a way with the ladies. 
Wicca, the worship of chubby girls showing generous amounts of cleavage and pissing off your parents, is now officially recognized by the Department of Veterans Affairs. The VA announced that it will begin engraving a Wiccan pentagram on the headstones of fallen heroes now eating turkey legs at that Great Renaissance Faire in the Sky. 