WASHINGTON, DC, 7:49 AM, MON MAY 12 | 2 POSTS IN THE LAST 24 HOURS | tips@wonkette.com | SUBMIT A TIP | RSS

Posts Tagged “Military”

SUPPORT THE TROOPS: "The U.S. Army doubled its use of 'moral waivers' for enlisted soldiers last year to cope with the demands of the Iraq war, allowing sex offenders, people convicted of making terrorist threats, and child abusers into the military." [Guardian]

15 comments

an unfeeling walnuts!

Sen. Rockefeller Comically Criticizes McCain's War Experience

In a Sunday interview with the West Virginia's Charleston Gazette newspaper, Senator Jay Rockefeller reinforced his support for Barry Obama. Mostly, however, he made fun of John McCain's war experience with some heavy words about bombs. McCain is dehumanized and cannot understand the human condition, Rockefeller says, and that is why he enjoyed bombing the Vietnamese from the air so much. More »

5:12 PM on Tue Apr 8 2008
By Newell
3,055 views, 55 comments

hillary 4 u and me

Hillary's Funny Story About Wanting To Join The Marines

In light of the Sinbad-Bosnia scandal, Hillary's entire history of funny Tuff Guy statements is being reexamined. This process alone could endure well past Hillary's lifetime. But here's a fun treat: In 1994, Hillary says she thought about joining the Marines in 1975, but then the recruiter made robotic sexist statements about her, so she decided to become a Monster instead. More »

2:11 PM on Wed Mar 26 2008
By Newell
3,192 views, 52 comments

see you next year, iraq!

Even More Photos Of Worst Iraq War Protest Ever

Iraq War protester-hippies poured red paint on the sidewalk outside of an Army recruitment office today. When a recruiter — who, along with his colleagues, was counter-protesting — noticed the spill, he asked some hippies what impact pouring red paint on the sidewalk has on the war. One hippie responded along the lines of, "It's the blood of foreign countries that you've spilled." The recruiter responded with something about bringing peace to the Middle East. This really happened. They each went their own ways after a minute or so — the hippie back to his hippie mob which was chanting "fuck the war!"; the recruiter back to his Army friends who were responding with "win the war!" (although it might have been "bring the war!" which is, well, terrible). Between these two groups was a puddle of red paint on the sidewalk, claiming naive pedestrians one-by-one.

Worst protest in the history of protests. Our last pictures are below, so you can see for yourself. More »

7:14 PM on Wed Mar 19 2008
By Newell
4,101 views, 71 comments

Latest by Lazy Media: @thefrontpage: Protesters suck. Protesters got Nixon elected twice, and extended the Vietnam war for at least an extra four years. You want to actually get shit done, go find a rich person to get on your side and hire a more »

photo tours

A Children's Treasury of Glorious Hippie Protest Signs

The key to any hippie protest is having a wide range of signs, usually homemade, each of which features some wry slogan of the individual protester's making. This strategy creates a safeguard against the corrosive effects of Mob Rule upon the brain. To illustrate further: a protester is at home reading conspiracy theories on the Internet, and this protester's mind is churning out revolutionary new postulates by the second. The protester can write the best of them all — "The Bush is burning," say — on his or her sign. Each protester does this, the Mob Mentality sets in, and voila, it's a protest: a sea of ugly signs with pathetic phrases and a loud roar of "BWAH BWAH BWAH BWAH" erupting from hundreds of overfed mouths. A Wonkette Photo Tour of today's best signs, after the jump. More »

5:30 PM on Wed Mar 19 2008
By Newell
6,539 views, 86 comments

Latest by elGuapo64: Try this at home. Stare at the opening picture for ten seconds. Then close your eyes. Concentrate really hard. Can you guys smell the BO too? more »

moonie times

Wash. Times Blames Obama's Lack of Hawkishness on Inexperience

The cultish Washington Times today featured a front page tell-all about Barack Obama’s military inexperience, and how it has led him to have strange opinions. The Times quoted all sorts of neocon hawks in the military, who believe that Barack Obama’s youthful ignorance on national security has led to him to such wild conclusions as “the surge isn’t winning the war,” “we should withdraw from Iraq at some point” and “the Muslim religion will not bomb America if we act nice to it.” The reliable Washington Times, once again, gets to the heart of the election: How can we elect a man so inexperienced that he isn’t a neocon? More »

4:25 PM on Tue Feb 26 2008
By Newell
1,822 views, 64 comments

Latest by regisgoat: @Upstatelicious Well, sounds like you know more about the military life than a certain lame duck president. Probably know more about steering the country too, despite the modesty. Anyway, I seem to remember reading that the Arabs invented the science of optics more »

iraq

All Iraqis to America: Please Go Away

Here’s something that may come as a shock to you: Iraqis don’t want us in their country. No, seriously, it’s true. The Washington Post is reporting on a new study that found Iraqis of all sectarian and ethnic groups blame the U.S. occupying forces for the violence that plagues them. So we’re packing up and leaving, right? Right? More »

12:50 PM on Wed Dec 19 2007
By interngreg
1,072 views, 27 comments

a non-hostage hillary post

Hillary Disses Hubby's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Crapromise

All 14th anniversaries deserve extra special festivities, and the Human Rights Campaign is celebrating the big 1-4 of the military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy for gay soldiers by… asking if candidates will get rid of it! All this week, the organization has been queerying each Democratic candidate, “If you are elected President, what concrete steps would you take to overturn ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell?’” Hillary Rodham Clinton, perhaps swayed by her platonic lover Keith Kerr, responded that she will bring her “strength and experience to bear to end this outdated and outmoded policy.” But your husband the President Bill made that policy! Clinton must obey Clinton or all Clintons fail! More »

5:40 PM on Fri Nov 30 2007
By Newell
858 views, 15 comments

Latest by mbillips: Akcherly, Sam Nunn made that policy. Clinton just smiled manfully when it was shoved up his emergency exit. Bill's policy was "In the Navy!" with half-naked dancing go-go boys at bootcamp, but Nunn and some other God-fearin' Dixiecrats told him more »

“The head of Iran’s elite Revolutionary Guards dismissed the possibility of U.S. military action against Iran and warned that his forces would respond with an ‘even more decisive’ strike if attacked, an Iranian news agency reported Friday.” [MSNBC]

7 comments

california

Inferno To Turn La-La Land Libs To The Right?

You might think that the quickly-spreading wildfires in southern California are a bad thing for everybody. But as is always the case when homes go up in flames and half a million people are sent terrified into shelters and camps, there’s an upside for the Republican Party! More »

2:38 PM on Tue Oct 23 2007
By jfruh
3,679 views, 56 comments

suuuuuuup dept.

Navy: WTF @ Teenagers

Kids today: what’s the matter with them? According to the Navy, they are actually aliens. Danger Room found a Navy recruiting powerpoint presentation and apparently these nutty “millennials” have crazy ideas about not joining the Navy. Why? Because they are “coddled” and “narcissistic praise junkies,” of course! Oh, and because of Iraq. Also did you know they have complicated text messaging codes? And if you want to convince them to sign their life away to Uncle Sam, you’ll need to crack that code. More »

6:33 PM on Fri Sep 28 2007
By Pareene
3,910 views, 30 comments

Latest by The Reef Keeper: L33t. more »

not funny dept.

Give the Surge Time to Work

Need a job? But can’t stomach indie movie references from old congresswomen? Here’s one you can look into: the US Armed Forces seem to have an urgent need for 67 “Personel Effects Specialists.” This job is also known as “doing something with all these dead soldiers.” So submit your resume today to work with the US Army Casualty and Morturary Affairs Operations Center at the Joint Personal Effect Depot, at Aberdeen Proving Grounds, the Happiest Place on EarthTM! “Former military experience preferred, but NOT required.”

NEW! 67 Temp Positions: Personal Effects Specialist (FT Shifts to Aug. 17) [serco]

5:33 PM on Thu Sep 13 2007
By Pareene
1,036 views, 18 comments

Latest by Pelagius: The Post did a feature on this job last October. "Personal Effects Specialists" sort through the belongings of killed soldiers and marines, box it up, chuck the unmentionables, and hand the rest over to the grieving mother or spouse. more »

dept. of history repeats

I'm From Buenos Aires, and I Say Kill 'Em All!

There’s another reason the White House is pushing this immigration-amnesty thing so hard: The bill also lets illegal immigrants join the military and fight our imperial wars — and then they can become citizens. More »

2:50 PM on Fri Jun 15 2007
By KLayne
1,218 views, 59 comments

Female Airman Punished For Kinky Three-Way Refueling Stunts Yeah, based on the picture, the big one there’s in no condition to give consent. Female Airman Punished for Threesome [Military.com]

50 comments

rumors on the internets

Gere Up

  • Rudy for prez: because he will never put a de-clawed ferret into his ass. [Horse’s Mouth]
  • Hillary changes private jets more often than you change underwear, even has the days sewn in them like you. [NYP]
  • “The only thing that can save this country is a military coup.” [NRO]
  • Oprah gets on the Barry Hussein train. [Newsmax]
  • Military took away the porn and now goes for the blogs. Way fight for fascism, fuckers. [Wired]
  • The Speaker of the Palestinian Legislative Council would like to reiterate his point in case anyone is unsure: Death to America. [Jerusalem Post]
  • Bill O’Reilly insults someone every 6.8 seconds. [Romenesko]

7:59 PM on Wed May 2 2007
By KLayne
606 views, 21 comments

Latest by Lionel Hutz: I still don't understand why Rudy is supposed to be a great homeland security guy. After all, the one proactive thing he ever tried to do was have Bush nominate Bernard Kerik as director of Homeland Security. How more »

war is hell dept.

Porn-Loving Military Hero Charged With "Aiding the Enemy"

Lt. Col. William H. “Lockhart” Steele thought he had it made. He was a top commander at one the US’s fastest-growing Iraqi prisons, he was making fast friends with the prisoners, and he had a way with the ladies. Then those desk jockeys in Washington put the hammer down. More »

6:58 PM on Thu Apr 26 2007
By Pareene
1,505 views, 18 comments

religion

High School Goths Win Lawsuit

Wicca, the worship of chubby girls showing generous amounts of cleavage and pissing off your parents, is now officially recognized by the Department of Veterans Affairs. The VA announced that it will begin engraving a Wiccan pentagram on the headstones of fallen heroes now eating turkey legs at that Great Renaissance Faire in the Sky. More »

1:01 PM on Tue Apr 24 2007
By Pareene
3,019 views, 40 comments

daily briefing

Daily Briefing: Federal Persecutors

  • Pat Leahy thinks Karl Rove needs to go under oath. Chuck Schumer thinks it’s “highly unlikely” that Alberto Gonzales will have a job after this week. [NYT]
  • David Iglesias was the world’s greatest voter fraud prosecutor before he wasn’t. [WP]
  • Carol Lam, on the other hand, got what she deserved for inconveniencing esteemed government officials like Duke Cunningham and Dusty Foggo. [WP, LAT]
  • US Military is unprepared to begin new exciting wars. [WP]
  • Patrick Kennedy tells Ted Kennedy to, “do it for the crazies dad, do it for me.” [NYT]
  • State Department gives North Korea its drug money back. [NYT]
  • What’s this “internet primary” all the kids are talking about these days? [WSJ]
  • The Smithsonian: still free, thanks to tax-payers like you. [WP]

9:20 AM on Mon Mar 19 2007
By jfruh
460 views, 5 comments

Latest by TDoff: Shumer's wrong again, Gonzales will have a job no matter what. He has the Head Lobbyist job for HADDIC, the legal community's answer to AIPAC. 'Since time immemorial lawyers have been discriminated against, looked down upon, yes, even shunned', Gonzales said. 'HADDIC (Homeland more »