mike lee

Remember James Lankford, from that story Editrix just wrote? Well he is locked in a race for the Republican nomination to succeed Senator Tom Coburn (R-SpackleBrainedDickWeasel), with T.W. Shannon (R-Some of Tea Partiers’ Best Friends Are Black), a former Oklahoma Speaker of the House, a member of the Chickasaw Nation, and also a member of another […]

The Tea Party finally noticed that it turned five like a week and a half ago, so what could these insurgent grassroots heartland Willy Lomans do but get together with a bunch of Senators and millionaires in Washington DC to celebrate? Michelle Cottle of the Daily Beast was there, gulping the very same air as […]

By all reasonable measures, Utah Sen. Mike Lee’s response to the State of the Union address was a huge success: He knew where the camera was, he didn’t go lunging off to the side to grab a water bottle, and he boldly articulated the innovative idea that government is the source of all our problems. […]

Did you already check out our handy guide to what time and where the State of the Union is on and what you should drink? Were you feeling like you could probably manage those rules for an hour or two days or however long it is that Barack is going to talk at you? Well, […]

Oh ladies. If the GOP isn’t insulting your intellectual capacity, demanding you be submissive, or trying to keep your libido in check (because you are all raging fuckmonsters), then they are desperately wooing you for your votes. Their latest attempt to distract from their 1930-era policies is to scrounge around and find a GEN-YOU-INE lady […]

You don’t even need to open this week’s Sunday New York Times to know that it is going to be wall-to-wall Chris Christie. First there was the news that he may have blocked Hurricane Sandy aid to Hoboken because the mayor there didn’t love Chris Christie’s real estate development as much as she should have, […]

You know what sucks about being an American? When the big bad government steps in and says that you have to treat all people the same, even if they are not like you. First, they came for our lunch counters, and now they are coming for our discrimination against gays. Luckily, there are some patriotic […]

You know who is a tough guy? Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell is a tough guy, and you know this is true, because in a conference call with Karl Rove and other RINOs, he said why, why, he’s agonna stand up to all them teabullies like Ted Cruz and Mike Lee and punch em POW! […]

A hundred years from now, maybe a dozen misanthropic trolls will know that Mike Lee was a Republican Senator from Utah and that he was dear friends with our first Canadian president, Ted Cruz. But in the here and now, Mike Lee is important, or something, at least we guess he is because we keep […]

The Senate GOP caucus has its dumb, its cranky old man yelling at clouds, its closeted Scarlett O’Hara impersonator, and its Tortugan wildlife. To this menagerie of dickitude the wise voters of Texas have recently added a condescending, particularly malevolent evil asshole in the form of Ted Cruz (R-Asshat Harbour). But now someone is going to have […]

There are two surefire ways to tell if you have a really stupid idea. The first is to ask whether or not you are a Republican. If yes, the idea is likely stupid. If that doesn’t convince you, then look around and see if other conservative asshats are calling you a moron. If both things […]

The Senate’s got a lot of stuff going on: There’s the straw man climate legislation coming later this week, solving the entire sequestration problem in the next two weeks, gun control, the Hagel confirmation and its pseudo-filibuster, the John Brennan confirmation and its threatened pseudo-filibuster, you get the idea — there’s a lot on the […]

Have you heard of Senator Mike Lee? Neither have we, all of these rich white guys look alike to us because we are reverse racist/sexists. Anyway, he has made it his business to stand out among the sea of white male GOP senators by going on Mike Huckabee’s radio show and something extra stupid (well, […]

What a boring Friday! Why is that Loughner kid not doing anything crazy? There are so many reporters there in Tucson, ready for him to lick a bailiff. What are we supposed to talk about, each vote in that RNC election? Meh. Or that the new Utah senator says the ban on child labor is […]