May 24, 2013
Mother Jones is apparently looking through the public records of the lame Republican presidential candidates these days (maybe THEY can figure out which of those Trump birth certificates/strands of hair are real), and they hit a snag when they requested Mike Huckabee’s from his time as governor of Arkansas. Apparently Mike Huckabee never was governor [...]
America’s forgotten “Man From Hope,” Mike Huckabee, never even came close to winning the GOP nomination in 2008. But he’s still sort of half-trying to run in 2012, so of course he is pandering wildly to the fringe “Christian Supremacist” bible-college nutters who are the true heirs to our national heritage of illiterate preachers going [...]
2012 DILDO NEWS: “The most recent vibrator is Mike Huckabee,” reports George Will. George Will will not allow Republicans who talk about Barack Obama’s Kenyan birth to be the next president of the United States. That is uncouth. So, like a sporting gentleman, he will refer to them as dildos until they go away.
Mike Huckabee said the word “starlet.” And then he said this: “Most single moms are very poor, uneducated, can’t get a job, and if it weren’t for government assistance, their kids would be starving to death and never have health care.” He was talking about Natalie Portman, who mentioned at the Academy Awards on Sunday [...]
HUCKABEE: I would love to know more. What I know is troubling enough. And one thing that I do know is his having grown up in Kenya, his view of the Brits, for example, very different than the average American. When he gave the bust back to the Brits – MALZBERG: Of Winston Churchill. HUCKABEE: [...]
Last week was probably not the best for our beloved FLOTUS. On Monday, famed underwear model Rush Limbaugh grumbled some crazy-speak about how our Michelle ate ribs one time, which made her too fat to be on the cover of Sports Illustrated, or something. To make matters worse, New Jersey Governor and Professional Fat Person [...]
According to Frank Bailey’s leaked tell-all book, Sarah Palin’s inner circle didn’t believe she had a chance at getting the vice-presidential nomination in 2008. That didn’t mean they didn’t think she was right for high executive office; in fact, they worked with and fed information to a college student who ran a Palin-for-president website, and [...]
How many days until Christmas? Just 358 days! Oh man, next Xmas is gonna punish, especially if we get Mike Huckabee’s dream gift, which is a box of 1,000 copies of his Xmas book, signed by Jesus and pooped out by reindeer over Iowa. Thanks to “Kevin H.” for the funny bookstore picture.
Who knew Keith Richards’ autobiography, Life, would be such a perfect political history of the 1950s-2000s? We’ve been tremendously enjoying this book, having accidentally received a copy surely intended for Pitchfork or Tumblr or something, and we’ve been especially delighted by the political anecdotes, of which there are hundreds. Hundreds. So, beginning right now, we [...]
Juan Williams is a hero! Conservatives love their Fox News more than anything, and when you mess with a member of that family, you will pay, even if that member is black and liberal. To be fair, what Juan Williams admitted is probably the nicest thing anyone has ever said about Muslims on Fox News, [...]
Team Sarah knows that the only place truth can possibly exist is in their teevee box, when it’s tuned to Fox News. But what happens when Fox News talks about Sarah Palin and it’s not in the religiously masturbatory way they do at Team Sarah? Is Fox News starting to HIDE the truth that Sarah [...]
General Petraeus is on the scene in Afghanistan — and by “Afghanistan” we mean “the Sunday morning political talk shows, in America” — to announce his intention to just stone cold win this war for you, whether you like it or not. “The president didn’t send me over here to seek a graceful exit,” Petraeus [...]
Public Policy Polling has released some important figures: polling on all major potential 2012 patriot presidential candidates and how they all stack up against MaoBama. Let’s see, we’ve got Sarah Palin, Mike Huckabee, Newt Gingrich, Ron Paul, Mitt Romney, and Chris Christie. Oh, and Basil Marceaux. Yep, that’s probably what the field will look like. [...]
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