mike huckabee
Mike Huckabee Puts Blame For Newtown Massacre On Abortion Pills, Where It Belongs
You can all put away your theories about there being too many or too few guns, because Heavenly Megaphone Mike Huckabee knows why unhinged sociopaths keep using military equipment to decimate fellow humans in everyday settings. Huck’s got his eye on you, over 99% of sexually active women of child-bearing age who’ve used contraceptives! Oh, [...]
Todd Akin’s Final Answer: He’s In It To Win It! (Also Too, 9/11)
Vaginal magic expert Rep. Todd Akin has just gone on the Mike Huckabee radio show to announce his final decision before today’s 5:00 drop-out deadline and LOL, he’s staying in. The reason is the same as yesterday: 9/11, and how the first responders wouldn’t want him to quit!…?? Hoo boy. We could see this coming, [...]
Todd Akin Explains ‘Legitimate Rape’ To Mike Huckabee With Wheelchairs And 9/11
Yesterday, Rep. Todd Akin, who is the GOP nominee for the US Senate in Missouri, made a comment declaring that women who experienced “legitimate rape” could not get pregnant. Today, Man-Who-Used-To-Be-Skinny Mike Huckabee had Akin on his show to handhold him through a damage control interview. About two minutes in, Huckabee asks Akin if he [...]
A Children’s Treasury of America’s Pilgrimage to Chick-Fil-A
It is here, finally: Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day, the brainchild of weekend cable television host Mike Huckabee and people who read his Facebook diaries. According to most reports, we’re seeing long fast food drive-thru lines across the nation, as Real Americans everywhere (but mostly in Real America) are rushing out of their homes to stick it [...]
Santorum Family Just Cannot Get Enough Of This Chick-Fil-A Special Sauce
Rick Santorum & fam marched straight to the front lines of the War on Chick-fil-A today, to stand arms-linked with the fast food chicken diabetes company that hates gay people. But Rick Santorum, you ask, Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day isn’t until August 1! You say so yourself! Well, that’s no matter. Everyday is Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day [...]
Idiots On Aurora, Part Douche: God Was The Second Gunman And Many Victims Went to Hell
A time of national tragedy is a time to come together as Americans, a time to heal, a time to put aside partisan differences and seek common ground. For instance, it is a time to remember that no man is an island, that we are all connected by bonds of community and love, and that [...]
Mike Huckabee Orders You To Stop Criticizing This Anti-Gay Fast Food Chicken Company
The Chick-fil-A company, which produces these salty waffle fries and breaded/fried chickenish sandwiches with two pickles apiece that serve as delicious on-the-go college meals but otherwise just give you hella diabetes, is notoriously owned by a prominent family in the religious social conservative set. Its president last week admitted the company was “guilty as charged” [...]
Noted Constitutional Scholar Mike Huckabee: Supreme Court Should Be More Nakedly Political (Video)
There is a reason Supreme Court judges have a life sentence on the bench and that is so they can be free to render unpopular decisions unmolested by the vagaries of popular opinion stick their finger in the wind and do whatever the vacuous hordes yell for from behind their double-stuffed KFC. Ask noted constitutional [...]
Mike Huckabee Declares War On Obama’s ‘Morally Repugnant Political Whores’
Each day is an adventure for Mike Huckabee. Some days he’s all happy and a-slappin’ the bass and whizzing off churchy jokes to his elderly fan base, other days he’s angry as a constipated cockatoo in search of the great release. (Other days he is a leading possibility for President of the United States of [...]
New Mike Huckabee Cartoon Reveals True Story of Bush And 9/11 Terrorism
Excess skin collection bucket Mike Huckabee has been having a ball ever since he discovered how devastatingly cheaply Taiwanese animators are able to computer visualize his conservative evangelical sex fantasies. His library of cartoon videos is so far is mostly fantasia flavors of “Reagan + Jesus kill black muggers and Nazis,” which are all pretty [...]
Huckabee Makes Cartoons To Teach Kids Reagan Destroyed Disco Blacks
Hey, kids! Do you like learning history but hate it that your teacher never tells you the story of the time Ronald Reagan and Jesus Christ teamed up to defeat the Nazis? Of course you do. America’s Original Fat Governor Mike Huckabee is here with a series of horribly animated cartoons featuring his team of [...]
Mike Huckabee Destroys Glenn Beck For Calling Him a Progressive Nazi
Mike Huckabee is holding onto his job at Fox New just fine. Glenn Beck is losing his. Glenn Beck and his giggling band of parrot radio co-hosts call Mike Huckabee a “progressive” for supporting Michelle Obama in her anti-obesity initiatives. Mike Huckbaee takes him down in a statement, saying Beck spoke about the initiatives “either [...]
Poll: Republicans Suicidally Depressed With Their Lame Candidates
We are deep into the first year of the 2012 campaign — haha, only 18 more months to go! — and already the Republican Base is so depressed and disgusted by their awful slate of candidates that some experts believe the GOP won’t be able to get anyone to the polls, because of mass suicide [...]
NBC Says Trump Won’t Run, Iowa Christian Fundamentalists Say He Will
At some point one of the two top-tier Republican frontrunners, Donald Trump and Mike Huckabee (haha, this is still funny), are going to have to leave their Fox deals and run, right? Is the Fox money really better than going down in the column in history books that lists the loser of each presidential election? [...]
Plurality of Mississippi GOP Think Interracial Marriage Should Be Illegal
PPP surveyed Mississippi Republican voters, and it turns out most of them aren’t shy about letting random people who call them up on the phone at dinner know how racist they are. Just 40% of them said interracial marriage should be legal, whereas 46% forcefully said it should be illegal. It’s a sign that Mississippi [...]
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