• Roy Blunt (R-MO) knows stuff about Canada. He knows that in Canada, they speak French and Spanglish, and that “bacon” is really just lame slices of ham. Roy knows that if you need a hip replacement, the Canadian government sends to you live in poverty, with the Eskimos, who have no need for hips. [AMERICAblog]
• If Obama abandons the public option, hundreds of House members will put catheters in their weenies — à la Mike Gravel — and read Infinite Jest again and again and again, until they get their way (Hitler socialism). [TPM]
• Orly Taitz is the poster child for cannabis psychosis. [Salon]
• RedState Bible Study! God spoketh unto Abraham, “Abraham. Hey. Kill the public option.” So Abraham dragged the public option up a mountain, and stabbed it in the face. “Jesus Christ,” howled the Lord. “That was just a test. You weren’t supposed to do that, really.” And then Abraham shrugged and gave an exhilarating speech at Right Online, in the sinful city of Pittsburgh. The End. [RedState]
• Is the Washington Post snorting Prozac? Or maybe taking handfuls of Flintstone Zoloft vitamins every day? If so, please stop being greedy, and share with TNR. [The Plank]

We have no idea who the people behind “Funny or Die” are… but apparently they are very well connected in Hollywood and Washington? This thing has its moments, such as Mike Gravel quietly reading the Pentagon Papers and Madame Peggington Noonanshire simply showing her Shining face. [via Fishbowl DC]

Well hey people, this is the last liveblog of a debate — the number is actually 50, no joke — in this election season. This has been a complete abortion of time. Ours, yours, God’s, ACORN’s. Remember Mike Gravel yelling at Joe Biden and really everyone else in that debate last April, which was 40 years ago? Well, that was actually in this SAME ELECTION CYCLE, and now it’s over forever because of the Economy, here’s a send-off into the hobo space jungle. And now we wait for the day… MORE »

What to even say about this new Obama Girl video, where she is courted by Democratic/Libertarian presidential candidate Mike Gravel? He sings and does the Soulja Boy dance. But no cookie! [YouTube]

Here is former Democratic candidate and current Libertarian party candidate for president, ex-Sen. Mike Gravel, in his latest fun video. He is speaking the words of the Beatles’ “Helter Skelter,” which has been remixed into a Modern version, “Electro Skeletor.” Other famous remixes of “Helter Skelter” include the Manson family. [YouTube]

PRESIDENT MIKE GRAVEL JOINS LIBERTARIAN PARTY: Former Alaska Sen. Mike Gravel, who we still thought was running for the Democratic nomination for president, has joined the Libertarian Party and may run for president that way, too. Gravel is famous for throwing rocks, yelling at other candidates, and this fantastic rapping video he made. Gravel’s exit helps clear the way for a unified Democratic party under Barack Obama, so maybe that Hillary Clinton galoot should get her act together and do the same. [The Trail]

Just as Ron Paul will harness confusion at the Republican National Convention to convert supposedly “pledged” delegates to his uplifting cause, Hillary Clinton will do the same on the Democratic side. A senior Clinton adviser told Politico’s Roger Simon, the guy who looks a bit like Henry Waxman except without the insane nose, that if forced the Clinton campaign would pursue the votes of pledged delegates–those assigned based on the results of primaries and caucuses. MORE »

Forget about Barry winning Connecticut or Hillary taking California in yesterday’s primary vote. The real Super Tuesday miracle story happened many millions of miles to the west, in a remote island kingdom called American Samoa. Here “ordinary American Samoans” who will not actually be able to vote in November participated in a Democratic caucus of epic proportions. Clinton took home the prize with an astonishing 163 votes. Stealth candidate Mike Gravel got a vote, though! [AP via KITV]

This Main Stream Media poll is clearly flawed with its options. Can CNN please explain why Barack Obama is on there and Ron Paul isn’t? [CNN]

• Reliable Source: Our very own Liz Glover charms the pants off most, terrifies Tim Russert with her Barbie camera… also some other things. [WP]
• Yeas and Nays: Karl Rove makes the astute observation that Americans want to elect a woman or a black man, thinks Obama’s not beefy enough… Mike Gravel tries to sell High School students his painkillers… Virginia wants to make it a felony to steal an animal. [Examiner]
• In the Know: Nancy Pelosi snubs her biographer… MSNBC’s Norah O’Donnell reported from New Hampshire without shoes on, like a dirty hippie… The middle schooler lobby pushes Arizona Rep. Rick Renzi to criminalize homework. [The Hill]
• Shenanigans: John Cornyn’s re-election campaign has some free advice for his Democratic rival… Mark Foley’s former chief of staff is going to save the Everglades. [Politico]
• The Sleuth: Someone stuck Hillary Clinton with the task of schlepping Chelsea’s dog around… Barrack Obama’s musical pick might indicate that he didn’t expect to, um, lose. [WP]
• Rush & Molloy: Larry David makes New Hampshire ladies swoon… Nicolas Sarkozy shares something in common with Donald Trump… Keith Olbermann explains the nature of his crusade. [NYDN]
• Fishbowl DC: The White House starts a thrilling blog on their Oriental Adventure… Election spam is annoying… Tim Russert knows how to pick a winner. [Media Bistro]

Fuck all, drop some acid and let’s cut to the chase: After the jump, a video of Democratic pseudo-presidential candidate Mike Gravel “rapping” about his struggles. It’s catchy. MORE »