December 12, 2013
So we missed taking pictures of SO MANY PEOPLE at our Norman, Oklahoma, Wonk Your Brains Out Drinky Thing and Orgy, because of how we left Miss Lisa Wines to die on the fields of Bleedy Kansas, and it certainly wasn’t OUR job to take the fucking pictures, LISA. Like, for instance, nowhere on our [...]
We had made it through Scottsdale and Santa Fe, through Minneapolis and Madison, through Chicago and somewhere else probably, man, it’s all running together, you know? We still had Norman, and Dallas, and Austin to go. And we’d looked on AirBnB for a room to rent, but all we’d seen in Lawrence, Kansas, was one [...]
Fuckin shit cocksuck goddamn we are never, ever, EVER going to get home and wrest the reins of this here mommyblog back from the Usurper, Doktor Zoom, who has doubtless been doing terrible things to it in the name of Skeeterfly or Princess Peachlumps or whatever. Because after we throw our Austin party TONIGHT (6 [...]
Hola dudes, sorry we haven’t rapped at you lately, or uploaded all our pictures of your beautiful faces in Chicago, and Madison, and Minneapolis, and whatnot. We will get on that right away sort of! Are we going to throw a party in Des Moines, Iowa, for you tonight? ABSOLUTELY NOT. Goddamn are we tired. [...]
Who will be our mystery guest TONIGHT, 6 p.m., at Christina’s Place, 3759 N. Kedzie Ave., Chicago, 773-463-1768? Will our mystery guest be Deron (seen above), the six-foot-six smiling Nice Time bartender at Thomas O’Foolaround’s, who is going to move to Los Angeles and be our husband just as soon as we inform him of [...]
When Barack Obama reveals the census numbers on December 31, it will become clear just how many people have fled the sad, crumbling Midwest, which will result in many Congressional districts there ceasing to exist. Thus, the pathetic battles to govern and/or legislate for these frozen wastelands take on extra importance, as the next two [...]
And that is exactly what we did. With Mitt Romney.