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Posts Tagged ‘midterms’

TOP

Midterm Elections Almost Over

Tuesday, December 12th, 2006

One of these people is Deborah Pryce - WonketteThe celebrated 2006 midterm elections, already beloved for featuring more man-on-page action and bitch-choking than any other election since the Era of Good Feelings, are finally drawing to a totally anti-climactic end. Deborah Pryce (R-OH) has defeated some loser. The recount will be certified on Friday, and then we can all get back to Vilsack Fever. MORE »


TOM DELAY

Another Unemployed Loser (Tom DeLay) Starts a Blog

Monday, December 11th, 2006

Suck it, creep! - WonketteHaving successfully destroyed the “Republican Revolution” and inexplicably avoided prison, Tom DeLay is now launching a ” Grassroots Action and Information Network” and has a brand new blog. MORE »


REPUBLICANS

GOP House Leadership Totally Innocent!

Friday, December 8th, 2006

Actual AP graphic ... jesus christ. - WonketteFinally, we can put Cocktober behind us: The Republican House Leadership has just concluded that the Republican House Leadership is totally innocent of wrongdoing in the Mark Foley cover-up. MORE »


GOVERNORS

GILF Update: Gov. Sarah Palin As Miss Wasilla

Wednesday, December 6th, 2006

Way back in 1984 — the Van Halen reality, not the George Orwell novel — Alaska’s new governor Sarah Palin was an Alaskan beauty queen. She would’ve been 18 or 19 at the time. The only problem with this great tale is that it appears she was in college in Idaho at the time. Meaning, it’s obviously true. Topless Alaskan beauty queens … hooray for America. MORE »


CONGRESS

Pelosi’s 100-Hour Reich Already In Ruins

Thursday, November 30th, 2006

Ha ha, suckers - WonketteRemember that whole “first 100 hours” business where the victorious Democrats would immediately raise the minimum wage, do some ethics stuff and, most critically, enact every recommendation of the 9/11 Commission? MORE »


MIDTERMS

Angry Weirdos Kick Out 40% Of PA Incumbents

Thursday, November 30th, 2006

Some random guy in Pennsylvania decided to get rid of every single incumbent in the Pennsylvania House and Senate and actually managed to evict a total of 47 legislators through primary losses and retirements forced by voter outrage.

How did Russ Diamond pull this off? He spent less than $200 to start a web-based political action committee called PA CleanSweep and recruited 97 oddballs to run on a simple anti-incumbent platform, all because the Pennsylvania politicians had given themselves a huge pay raise atop an already huge pile of benefits.

Learn how four divorces, public drunkenness and your girlfriend’s abortion equal Political Success, after the jump.

MORE »


JOHN KERRY

America Loves Rudy & Obama, Still Hates Bush & Kerry

Tuesday, November 28th, 2006

You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your lifeWhat does it say about America when the two most-loved politicians are a twice-divorced opera-loving Manhattan dandy and a charismatic young Hawaiian dope fiend known for reading a speech on teevee and being half black?

Decline and Fall, that’s what. A new national poll proves Rudy Giuliani and Barack Obama are the most popular politicians, with respective rankings of 64.2 and 58.8 (out of 100). Next up is John WALNUTS! McCain with 57.7 and Condoleezza Rice with 56.1, proving that even a rich, incompetent former Exxon executive can overcome the soft bigotry of race.

But guess who’s at the very bottom of the list? We’ll roll all the numbers, after the jump.

MORE »


REPUBLICANS

Kitty’s G*d Performs Florida Miracle!

Wednesday, November 22nd, 2006

Smite smite smote! - WonketteSure, we laugh at Katherine Harris’ strong Christian/Jewish faith, and we laugh at how her god(s) betrayed her, but we’re ready to acknowledge an actual supernatural miracle when it happens. MORE »


REPUBLICANS

No Word Yet on Whether GOP Call Center Staffers “Like Steamroom”

Wednesday, November 22nd, 2006

The Republicans had it all coming into the 2006 midterm elections — a record of strong leadership, a popular president, no secret homosexuals, and, most importantly, their battle-tested Get Out the Vote operation, in place and working flawlessly since 2000. Strangely, things didn’t work out so well for them, and they ended up losing both chambers of Congress. This failure was particularly rough in California, where the Republican Party is conducting an “internal audit” to see just what went wrong. MORE »


HOUSE

Foley Staffer Begs Repubs To Pay His Legal Bills

Monday, November 20th, 2006

Pagefuckergate! - WonketteK Street Republicans were “flabbergasted” by an e-mail begging for handouts to cover disgraced Foley chief of staff Kirk Fordham’s legal bills. Even better, the e-mail was sent the morning after the Election Day Bloodbath. MORE »


CONGRESS

Michele Bachmann Getting More Awesome By the Minute

Monday, November 20th, 2006

Hot 4 Christ! - WonketteShe may be a loopy Jesus Freak, but people on the Hill have also noticed that Michele Bachmann is also pretty hot. Today, the Minneapolis Star Tribune reveals her beauty secrets: MORE »