Wonkette

Congressman John Doolittle of California — Tom DeLay’s scumbag buddy who took a bunch of dirty money from Jack Abramoff — might be wussing out after all. Doolittle’s chief of staff denies it, but the re-election campaign is already almost broke and he nearly lost his 4th District “safe seat” in the ‘06 midterms that swept away his crooked sweetheart Richard Pombo, from California’s 11th District. [TPM Muckraker, Politico, OpenSecrets]

Senator Tim Johnson has finally been moved from the hospital to some type of private care, his office just announced. MORE »

After the Mark Foley scandal, it was all but certain that even the most naive “civic minded” teenager would avoid the House and Senate page programs. Instead, becoming a page is more popular than ever before. MORE »

The honorable Vern Buchanan of Florida’s honorable 13th congressional district didn’t get a real warm welcome from House Democrats, because he won under absurdly suspicious circumstances. Outgoing governor Jeb Bush certified Buchanan’s bogus 369-vote “win” — 18,000 voters mysteriously avoided choosing a new House representative. Thanks to legendary Florida secretary of state and former 13th District congresslady Kitty Harris, totally unaccountable e-voting machines were used. MORE »

Why did violent, delusional alcoholic Jim Gibbons take the oath as Nevada’s newest and craziest governor at 12:00:12 a.m. on January 1? Initial reports blamed some make-believe terror threat because Saddam Hussein supporters would certainly target some nobody in Northern Nevada to avenge the Iraqi president’s hanging.

But the real reason for the bizarre midnight ceremony in Gibbons’ Reno living room has less to do with the sociopath’s terror fantasies than his cheap mafia casino power grabs and fanatical loathing for the popular, competent and sane outgoing governor, Republican Kenny Guinn.

Learn all about the pig-eyed thug’s latest filthy schemes, after the jump.

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The nerd with his back to the camera is Virginia Congressman Virgil Goode, who bravely vowed to deport Detroit-born black American Keith Ellison, due to Ellison being the first Islamo-fascist Arab to win a seat in the House. You’ll recall that Ellison (Terrorist-MN) chose to worship the Muslim god rather than the American god when performing the holy photo-op oath. MORE »

Jim Gibbons was already famous for being a do-nothing Nevada congressman who routinely spouted asinine nonsense and basically threatened to kill a Vegas cocktail waitress just before the midterm elections that bizarrely put him in the governor’s mansion, but we can now add “paranoid schizophrenic” to his long list of personal problems.

“Citing unspecified security concerns,” the rat-eyed Republican was sworn in as the New Year arrived Monday at 12 a.m. — in the living room of his house in the grim Reno suburb of Sparks. (UPDATE: Sparks native Gibbons has apparently abandoned his grim hometown for some McMansion in Reno proper.) This couldn’t be any weirder if Michael Jackson, Liza Minelli and that dwarf from “Twin Peaks” were on hand.

Let’s catch up with the scumsack, after the jump.

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A Wonkette operative notes that Santorum’s people are filling a dumpster with unwanted books from his Senate offices. What kind of stuff do they like in Rick’s World? Scary books about The Gays, that’s what! These are allegedly actual books being tossed out today: MORE »