Tag: middle east

Robert Mueller Just Has A Couple Of Questions…Wonkagenda For Wed., Jan. 24, 2018

So much fuckin' Trump Russia, Republicans are screaming about secret societies, and Mazel Tov to Tammy Duckworth. Your morning news brief!

Robert Mueller Will Investigate Donald Trump UNTIL THE DAY HE DIES

Yep, the Mueller investigation is going to wrap up just after the New Year. YOU BET, TRUMP!

Michael Flynn’s Grift To Steal Middle East For Russia (And Himself!) Would Make Sarah Palin Blush


Donald Trump Trying To Build His Own Secret, Privatized CIA. What Could Go Right?

Trump's trying to build his own secret Team America to run around and kidnap terrorists by using Iraq War and Iran-Contra rejects.

Kushner: I Will Fuck Up The Middle East! Trump: HOLD MY BEER!

It's funny because they actually believe that they can solve this with their BIG BRAINS.

Should Robert Mueller Put Erik Prince In Jail For Trump-Russia Crimes? Yes Or OH FUCK YES?

SPOILER, the answer is probably yes.

And That’s When Trump Became President (Just Kidding). Wonkagenda For Tues., May 23, 2017

Trump blows another opportunity to act like an adult, Jeff Sessions tries to be legally racist, and Fox News has LOW RATINGS. Your morning news brief.

Senate Grownups Poop On House Intel Committee. Wonkagenda For Thurs., March 30, 2017

The Senate starts Trump-Russia hearings, Republicans might have to work with Democrats, and Ivanka gets a real job! Your morning news brief!

How Donald Trump Will Increase Defense Spending: So Much Magic, We’ll Get Sick Of Magic!

Just think of the great deals on military hardware he can negotiate if we buy from Russia!

Time To Watch Trump And Hillz Fight Each Other TO THE DEATH! Your Final Debate Preview

Our long national nightmare is almost over!
Serious Trump is Serious

If President Donald Trump Tortures You, That Means It’s Not Illegal

Donald Trump loves him some torture, so much. Whenever he can, he explains how he'd bring back waterboarding -- and more! -- and maybe also kill some terrorists' families, because you gotta be tough with these animals. In Thursday's debate,...

Lying Liar Carly Fiorina Lying About Jesus Now

Uh-oh, Cara Carleton "Carly The Liar" Fiorina has been opening her mouth again, and you know what happens when she does that. SHE LIES. Usually she's lying about little tiny baby arms and legs writhing on tables at the...
You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders - The most famous of which is 'never get involved in a land war in Asia'

Lindsey Graham Got Confirmed Bachelor All Over The Undercard Debate, Buttercup

Lindsey Graham seems to have finally resigned himself to the cold hard reality that he has about as much chance of becoming the Republican nominee for president as he does of getting cast in Magic Mike III, so he...
The doctor is in, oh fuck!

Ben Carson Promises To Bathe In The Blood Of Innocents

As we all know, Ben Carson is the smartest, bestest brain surgeon in the whole United States of Earth, and this is why he will be the best president ever. At least, that seems to be his argument. Wonkette...
This is actually a man from the United Arab Emirates, who got kicked out of Saudi Arabia for being too sexy. America wouldn't do that, right?

Obama Won’t Repopulate America With Sexxxy Gay Muslim Refugees. OR WILL HE?

Oh, this is just great. Not only does Barack Obama want to resettle somewhere upwards of eleventy-eight jillion (read: a measly 10,000) Syrian refugees in the United States, including the tiny toddler ones that make Fox News anchor Andrea...
Trump can't help it if his reality is yooger and more interesting than anything on record

Donald Trump Rejects Chuck Todd’s 9/11 Reality, Replaces It With His Own

On NBC's Meet the Press Sunday, Donald Trump and host Chuck Todd had a spirited debate about the nature of reality, which left us wishing we could live in an alternative reality in which neither had been born. Todd...