Wonkette

• “The Democrats are throwing the election away. And for what? An inadequate black male?”

  [Firedoglake]

• American Hero Lanny Davis runs around the Marriott shouting and cursing at people to listen to his crap, only to be mocked. You must read this 80 times. [Huffington Post]
• Larry Sinclair shows up, carrying a box of “Obama’s DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS: Murder, Drugs, Gay Sex” fliers. [TNR, YouTube]

More nutjob protesters, after the jump. MORE »

“WASHINGTON (AP) - Democratic party officials said a committee agreed Saturday on a compromise to seat Michigan and Florida delegates with half-votes after Barack Obama and Hillary Rodham Clinton failed to get enough support to force their positions through.”

Fair, great, it’s over, HOORAY! But… MORE »

Here’s a picture from our Wonkette “Saturday” operative. It is the worst car in the world, and America should be ashamed of it. It’s “rallying” around the DNC Rules and Bylaws Committee at some Marriott in northwest Washington D.C., along with various comical Hilltards and tragically counter-protesting Obamatards. Somehow the only result of the meeting will be the War in Iran. But are they making any progress? Perchance! MORE »

Okay, there’s not a whole lot to the story, but still, GRAND RAPIDS!

John Edwards endorsing Barack Obama in Grand Rapids [WOOD TV]

So hints tragic reporter hero Mark Halperin, who says the Barry campaign will announce a major endorsement between 6:15 and 7:15. Obama will be holding a rally in Grand Rapids, Michigan tonight — and John Edwards got on a plane this afternoon! Maybe he was just flying to Outer Space or some deserted island, far, far away from the speculative hellhole we call the Two-Hour News Cycle.

UPDATE: Nope, no vacation. It’s confirmed by Politico, ABC, MSNBC, NYT, etc. etc., that Edwards will indeed throw his White Weight behind Elitist Barry. [The Page]

Barack Obama hates women, because he’s a fairy, and also because they don’t vote for him. Guy goes to Michigan today, for example. What does he call this Journalistic Local Reporter Girl? He calls her “Sweetie,” earning a tragically sarcastic remark in response. Can we safely assume that he is pro-life now? [YouTube]

Old Barry visited the evil state of Michigan today, where Hillary Clinton beat Nobody by only 15%. They have many Bitters in Michigan ever since the Chinese & Mexicans took their factory jobs. This is why Barry, a terrible elitist who has never even spoken to a white person before, visited the sole fancy factory still operating. Does he have any idea that these people — the ones with jobs — aren’t the real people of Michigan? Anyway, here he is looking like Steve Urkel with bird flu. [AP Photo]

Yoiks! Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm, the woman who could be president someday if she weren’t a secret Canadian, has undergone emergency surgery to remove “a bowel obstruction.” We don’t know much about bowel obstructions except that labrador retrievers get them when they eat pantyhose. The governor’s problem seems to stem from a 1993 car accident. But what will this mean for Michigan’s Democratic delegate mess? MORE »

MICHIGAN DEMOCRATS COME UP WITH NEW PLAN THAT WILL FAIL: The Michigan Democratic party has yet another new proposal to figure out its horrible situation: Give 69 delegates to Hillary and 59 to Obama. SOUNDS GOOD OVER HERE. But a little 69 action may not be good enough for Hillary. [Marc Ambinder]

Jiminy crickets, the DNC is going to have more hearings on May fucking 31 to decide the status of Michigan and Florida’s delegates. They are going to sit around in a stack of burning hobbit carcases and drink Sprite and think about whether they should seat the states’ superdelegates and half of their plebeian delegates. The delegates have declared that standing room will not suffice. [Ben Smith]