Tag Archives: michigan

  Hide your kids hide your wives

Homosexual Spotted At Michigan Newspaper, May Be Armed With Agenda, Caution Advised!

Don't open the folder or glitter will get fucking everywhere.
God-bothering Michigan state Rep. Gary Glenn, who is also president of the American Family Association of Michigan, has an ALERT and a DRUDGE SIREN and, hopefully, a SHOCK VIDEO, to share with the people who populate the city of Midland:  There is a homosexual, and he is at the newspaper right now, and even worse than that, they have made him the editor! Read more on Homosexual Spotted At Michigan Newspaper, May Be Armed With Agenda, Caution Advised!…
  Just Don't Make This A Racial Thing OK?

Michigan Cops Had Perfectly Good Reason For Beating Up Unarmed Black Guy, Probably

Funny, not one working microphone, either.
Surprising news from Michigan: On Jan. 28, police in the Detroit suburb of Inkster were caught on dashcam dragging an African American man from his car, putting him in a chokehold, then repeatedly beating and tasering him because, they say, he was resisting arrest. We were surprised to learn that there’s a Detroit suburb named “Inkster.” Read more on Michigan Cops Had Perfectly Good Reason For Beating Up Unarmed Black Guy, Probably…
  Frivolous lawsuits

Butthurt Michigan Woman Sues Planet Fitness For Being Nice To Transgenders

Behind door number three is this bitch named Yvette, who isn't allowed at this gym anymore.
Some weeks back, we had a Nice Time, about a Michigan lady, Yvette Cormier, who was bitching and moaning about the fact that her local Planet Fitness allows transgender people to use bathrooms and locker rooms that correspond to their gender identities. She huffed and puffed about a “man” being in the locker room (it was a trans woman), and Planet Fitness decided, to hell with it, and terminated her membership — Cormier’s, not the trans woman — citing the fact that it’s very boldly stated, in their policies and on their website, that they are a No Judgement [sic] Zone. Read more on Butthurt Michigan Woman Sues Planet Fitness For Being Nice To Transgenders…
  OK Fine But No Irish Need Apply

Michigan School District Just Wants To Hire A Good Christian, Is That So Wrong?

You know He's humble because of the lowercase i's
Looks like the ACLU is out persecuting Christians again. When McBain Rural Agricultural Schools in Michigan advertised a job opening for superintendent, it included a simple, straightforward request for the kind of person who’d be practically perfect in every way for the job: The applicant should have such vital qualities, including at least five years’ experience as a principal or district leader, a Master’s degree, experience in collective bargaining, and, oh yes, “A strong Christian background and philosophy.” Read more on Michigan School District Just Wants To Hire A Good Christian, Is That So Wrong?…
  on fire for the Lord

Michigan Hairdresser Burns Down Porn Shop For Jesus

We were just saying that we wanted to find a Funny to write about for Friday afternoon, and HERE is a funny for you. Actually, it is not all funny, because the owners of the Hollywood Nights porn shop in Kalamazoo, Michigan, lost everything when a local “hair designer” (we guess that is one step above “hair decorator”) named Mitchell Hapner grabbed an ax and did the Lord’s Work of burning a sexxx store to the ground. Local Michigan news source WOOD-TV (ha ha ha ha ha) reports: Read more on Michigan Hairdresser Burns Down Porn Shop For Jesus…
  Are Those Extra Rounds Or Is The AC Set Too High?

Wingnut Lady Shoots Self Dead While Adjusting Boob-Gun

She was an active member of the Christian Motorcycle Association.
A minor official in the Michigan Republican Party who was found dead on New Year’s Day apparently did not take her own life. Instead, new information released Wednesday indicates that Christina Bond died while adjusting a gun in a bra holster. At least no toddlers were involved in this shooting. Read more on Wingnut Lady Shoots Self Dead While Adjusting Boob-Gun…
 

Judge To Obama: Stop Letting In All Those Immigrants Who Are Already Here!

Screw you, huddled masses
Wednesday was supposed to be the day President Obama officially rolled out the Kenyan welcome mat for all them illegals who’ve already snuck across our border to infect us with diseases and their strange foreign languages. But oh no, you can un-unfurl that Hispanic flag over the White House, Mr. Thinks He’s So President, because United States District Judge Andrew S. Hanen has put a stop to that nonsense, at least for now. Read more on Judge To Obama: Stop Letting In All Those Immigrants Who Are Already Here!…
  The Homosexual Agenda Strikes Again

Creepy Michigan AG Who Stalked Gay Kid Gets To Pay $3.5 Million

This guy has drained our gay joke reservoir.
Our favorite swishy homo-Nazi crusader is back! Former Michigan Attorney General Andrew Shirvell has lost his trial in appeals court after defaming University of Michigan student Chris Armstrong. You may remember Andrew Shirvell from a few years ago. He was the bonkers assistant attorney general who made it his mission in life to stalk, harass, and publicly attack a single college kid for the crime of openly having The Gay. The attacks included claims that the kid, Chris Armstrong, was a gay Nazi, gay racist, gay elitist, gay orgier, gay Satanist … you get the picture. Shirvell did completely heterosexual things like host a blog dedicated to nothing but Chris-related news, follow and harass every single person on Chris’s Facebook page, and show up at Chris’s house to watch and videotape him from the bushes. We’re sure it was all because he cared. Read more on Creepy Michigan AG Who Stalked Gay Kid Gets To Pay $3.5 Million…
  the halls of injustice

Michigan Teabagger Cites Magna Carta, Eternal Rights Of Man In Epic Fight Over Seating Chart

taken before the day everything changed...
Do you sometimes feel like the standard tea party characters are growing a little stale? Are you tired of the Crowders? The Kincannons? The Paranoid Ginger Wooly Willies? I mean, don’t get me wrong. Those guys are great, especially if you’re looking for racist murder fetish material. But will they have a seat at the table when it’s time to effect true change? Who will LEAD? Read more on Michigan Teabagger Cites Magna Carta, Eternal Rights Of Man In Epic Fight Over Seating Chart…
  Aroint Thee Witch

Christian Town In Michigan Being Ensorcelled By Atheist Demon-Man, Smallfolk Panick

Oh bother, oh Baphomet.
The malign presence of Mitch Kahle, a confessed atheist witch-demon, has placed the Goodchristian town of Norton Shores, Michigan, in a Peril of losing its magick protections against evil. Kahle has already used his darck maege powers to beguile the smallbarons who do sitte upon the Ottawa County Board of Commissioners; And lo they did as he bade, purging the works of the Lord from the land. A blessed inscription of a Psalm at a publick parck is e’en now been rent asunder, and by some weirde alchemy, a towering crucifix that once stood proude on the commone Lande is become a scow’s anchor. Read more on Christian Town In Michigan Being Ensorcelled By Atheist Demon-Man, Smallfolk Panick…
  The Decisis Stares Back At You

SCOTUS: Everyone’s Getting Gay-Marriage Throat-Crammed This June

Have fun biting your nails
Well, we saw this one coming: The Supreme Court will (probably) decide once and for all whether states can ban gay marriage. The Court agreed Friday to review the 6th Circuit Court of Appeals’ decision in DeBoer v. Snyder, which is the only one of a recent string of federal appeals court decisions to hold that four states — Michigan, Kentucky, Tennessee, and Ohio — can restrict marriage to straight people only. Read more on SCOTUS: Everyone’s Getting Gay-Marriage Throat-Crammed This June…
  Total RINO obviously

Michigan Governor Vetoes NRA Bill To Arm Lady-Beaters, World Keeps Turning

This is Raging Rob. Enough said.
In a rare but not unprecedented burst of Republican sanity regarding gun regulation, Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder has done a super decent thing and vetoed a concealed carry gun bill that was crafted, nurtured, and pushed in Michigan by the NRA. The bill, SB 789, would have allowed stalkers and domestic abusers to obtain concealed carry permits, because of course when you’ve been deemed dangerous by a court, you should have immediate access to deadly weapons, it just makes sense. And staggeringly, Gov. Snyder, a REPUBLICAN, were you even listening, did the right thing and said NO WAY. Don’t get too excited about Snyder, because he is normally very happy to do the NRA’s bidding, but today we are not complaining. Read more on Michigan Governor Vetoes NRA Bill To Arm Lady-Beaters, World Keeps Turning…
  One nation under white Jesus

Michigan RNC Guy Posting Stormfront Stuff On His Facebook Basically, Why Not

Party like it's 1859
Did you spend even one moment of New Year’s Eve wondering if old friend and RNC Committeeman Dave Agema was enjoying himself? Because while you were getting dressed in anticipation of being asphyxiated by glitter and vomiting champagne cocktails out of a taxi window, Agema enlightened himself with a ball-drop of opinions on why black people crime. Read more on Michigan RNC Guy Posting Stormfront Stuff On His Facebook Basically, Why Not…
  Love Me Deadly

Stalkers! Lady Beaters! Come To Michigan And Pack All The Heat You Can Handle!

Won't someone think of the Second Amendment?
Just when you think that maybe America is no longer the bastion of freedom and individual liberty you thought it was, along comes an inspirational freedom-expanding development like this new Michigan law awaiting the signature of Gov. Rick Snyder. The bill would: Read more on Stalkers! Lady Beaters! Come To Michigan And Pack All The Heat You Can Handle!…
  The Forever War On Christmas

Hero Michigan Legislator Will Save Baby Jesus From Satan, Stuffed Snake

That's pretty festive
In Lansing, Michigan, pearls were clutched and couches were fainted upon when the First Amendment performance artists at the Satanic Temple announced they’d be setting up a holiday display at the Capitol building. As usual, the Satanic Temple folks submitted their application for a display after another group announced plans for a nativity scene. But the first group’s nativity plans fell through, which would have left only the Satanic Temple’s display, an offense against everything that America stands for, according to state Sen. Rick Jones, who took to Facebook to announce that this Satanic Non-Christmas will not stand, man. In a message that has now been replaced by an update, Jones christsplained: Read more on Hero Michigan Legislator Will Save Baby Jesus From Satan, Stuffed Snake…
  Democrat Party Of One

Oh Hey There Is A New Democrat In The Senate, That’s Nice!

A rare sight: A Democrat giving a victory speech
It’s hard out there for a new Democratic senator. Scratch that: It’s hard out there for the one and only new Democratic senator. Rep. Gary Peters of Michigan (thank you, Michigan) was one of a very — very, very, very — select group of Democrats who did not have to drown all their sorrows after the Great Ass-Whoopin’ of 2014 and instead got to give a victory speech on that fateful Tuesday night. He’s the House member who beat Republican Terri Lynn Land (thank you again, Michigan). You remember Land, of course. She’s the one who, in response to suggestions that she was actually part of her party’s war on women, ran a HI-larious ad in which she said “REALLY?” and then sipped her coffee and literally had no more words to say. Turns out that ad didn’t help her. And apparently, having Jeb Bush on the campaign trail didn’t help her either. Read more on Oh Hey There Is A New Democrat In The Senate, That’s Nice!…
  Nearly was An Also-Ran

What Happened To The ‘Gays Cause Autism’ Lady? Your Fringe Candidate Roundup!

There's always 2016...
We know what you’re thinking. “Did the bizarro Illinois lady who said that autism, dementia, and tornados are God’s punishment for abortions and ghey marriage actually get elected to Congress?” This being the kind of election year that brought Joni Ernst and James Lankford to the Senate, you’ve got to ask yourselves: “Do I even want to know?” Well, do ya, punks? Let’s just see what happened to some of the more… colorful candidates last week (mostly, the color is red with vein-bursting rage). Read more on What Happened To The ‘Gays Cause Autism’ Lady? Your Fringe Candidate Roundup!…
  Stick to TED Talks

Sixth Circuit Strikes Down Gay Marriage For Stupid Reasons That Are Dumb

But we're leaving out The Gay, right? Right!
Well, looky here, the 6th Circuit Court of Appeals has decided to cram homophobia down everyone’s throats. Talk about judicial activism! In a 2-1 decision, the three-judge panel — with the dissenter writing a most epic dissent, but we’ll get to that — ruled in DeBoer v. Snyder that it is perfectly fine and legal, and probably also good for the children, to ban marriage equality in Michigan, Ohio, Kentucky, and Tennessee. The court uses a lot of fancy legal jargon like “strict scrutiny” and “rational basis review” and lots of citations to lots of cases to make it look like the judges are just doing their jobs, but when you cut out all of that lawtalk, the basic premise of the court’s decision to overturn the lower courts’ decisions is that, as judges, they cannot possibly decide whether it is constitutional to discriminate against gay people for being gay. What are they — judges? Read more on Sixth Circuit Strikes Down Gay Marriage For Stupid Reasons That Are Dumb…
  E. Coli Now Smarter Than Creationists!

Michigan State University Gets To Learn Why Darwin Did The Holocaust

Actually, we might go to this conference...
Thanks to some help from a campus student group, Michigan State University’s campus in East Lansing gets to host a great big Creationism conference, not that the university itself is particularly excited about the prospect of bringing in a bunch of goofballs to argue that Darwin = Hitler. Read more on Michigan State University Gets To Learn Why Darwin Did The Holocaust…
  The Tide Is High But I'm Holding On...To Climate Denial

Moon And Rain Prove Global Warming Isn’t Real

Ask Dr. Dan Benishek about your T-Zone!
Welp, Global Warming had a pretty good run, but it’s time to just give up the farce, kids. We have no fewer than three absolute refutations today of the crazy wackaloon theory that the Earth’s climate is somehow warming due to Carbon Dioxide and other greenhouse gases, so just calm down and burn some coal, will you? Read more on Moon And Rain Prove Global Warming Isn’t Real…
  Shouldn't Have Let Operation Rescue Do The Campaign Mailers

Michigan GOP Urges Wingnuts To Harass Democrat’s Dying Mom About Obamacare

t's just free speech. Shut up.
Look, politics is serious business, and if you’re in a tight race, anything goes. If you’re the Michigan GOP, that even includes sending out a mailer that urges people to call a Democratic candidate’s 91-year-old mother, who is in hospice care at a nursing home, so they can tell her just how much they hate Obamacare: Read more on Michigan GOP Urges Wingnuts To Harass Democrat’s Dying Mom About Obamacare…