michigan

Did you watch the popular teevee show “Orange Is The New Black”? Of course you did, because if you didn’t, all your friends annoyed you by talking about it endlessly on Twitter. After you watched the show, did you decide that wearing an orange jumpsuit would be the absolute sexxxiest thing you could wear? Probably […]

Hey, well-regulated militia, how’s the responsible gun ownership going lately? If we’re doing a Gun Roundup, seems like we’re pretty much required to start with Florida, so here’s a story of a Responsible Gun Owner protecting his life from someone who threatened his rightful place on the road: On Friday, 83-year-old Mario Perez-Tano was stopped […]

Are you guys super into privatization, that cool thing where we take away duties from the mean rotten government and give them to cool companies that will magically, simply by being private companies, make everything better? It’s the best, right? Just look how awesome it has worked out in Michigan’s prison system, where Aramark, the […]

Jordan D. Haskins wants to be elected to the Michigan House of Representatives, but while he is now a born-again Christian, he readily admits that he’ll have stiff competition and a hard time rubbing out his past sins. The 24-year-old candidate from Saginaw was convicted of felonies in four cases related to incidents in 2010 […]

Big News for Prolife Budget Hawks: The Michigan state legislature, which can’t afford anything anymore, did some Fiscal Responsibility the other day, appropriating $800,000 to “promote childbirth” and encourage pregnant ladies not to have no ‘bortions. It won’t include any money to actually help feed babbies or anything, but it will throw nearly a million […]

It is almost getting to the point where you can’t trust people who lead pious public Christian lives not to try to buy sex with young boys anymore! Authorities say John Balyo, 35, was arrested Friday morning at the Big Ticket Christian music festival near Gaylord, Mich. Balyo, who was the morning host on WCSG […]

Meet Joseph Houseman, 63, of Kalamazoo, Michigan. Mr. Houseman (no relation to the guy from The Paper Chase) is a big advocate of exercising his Second Amendment rights in public, in his pyjamas, and also of exercising his First Amendment right to yell at cops, inform them a revolution is coming, and to let them […]

Three irrepressible scamps in the Michigan House singlehandedly ended the War On Women Thursday with a tweeted photo of themselves reading Ladies’ Magazines. The picture, snapped by Michigan Public Radio reporter Jake Neher, quoted one of the special snowflakes, state Rep. Pete Pettalia (dude with the mustache in the trio above), who repeated the joke […]

Hurrah, Yr Derp Roundup is back after a brief hiatus, and we are delighted to bring you a premium selection of the gunk that was stuck to our browser tabs, stories that didn’t quite merit a post of their own, but were too stupid to ignore altogether. We recommend adding the reality-dilution substances of your […]

Having first been elected to the House of Representatives in 1964, one would think that Rep. John Conyers (D-MI) would have the whole “get enough signatures from constituents to make it onto the primary ballot” step down to a science by now. This cycle, however, he made a pretty big oopsie. The [Michigan Secretary of […]

Let’s have a round of applause for 8-year-old Cayden Taipalus of Howell, Michigan, who did a pretty awesome thing with a little help from his mom. One day at lunch, Cayden saw another kid being served the Poverty Lunch — a slice of American Cheese on plain bread — because the other kid’s lunch account […]

Earlier this week, we lawsplained at you about how the decision in Schuette v. BAMN, upholding a Michigan voter referendum banning consideration of racial preferences in college admissions, was a terrible fucking thing that was nothing but parts of the Court yelling MOB MOB RULE Y’ALL. We had hoped that would be the end of […]

You know what’s cool? Mob rule. Mob rule is the new hottness. Fuck state legislatures. Fuck the courts. Screw representative democracy. Just put your votes to the people, and if the people happen to decide that they do not really dig on the gays having rights or the blahs getting ahead in life, that’s totally […]

We have to admit we had completely forgotten about Herman Cain after his 2012 flameout, but it looks like he has a website where people who are not Herman Cain write things that are, we presume, thinks Herman Cain has thought of or agrees with. It is, as you would imagine, a really impressive level […]

Just when you think you’ve had all the political stupidity you can stand, along comes a story that restores your faith in humanity, or at least in the capacity for humans to pledge their lives and their sacred trust to a completely sleazy grifter. In this case, the sleazoid is Dr. Craig Stasio, the head […]