Tag: michelle malkin

Shrieking Meth-Banshee Michelle Malkin Makes Angry List Of All The Boobies She’s Seen Lately

Just one more thing on which insane rage monkey Michelle Malkin and poised, calm, lovely and boob-positive Wonkette part ways.

Twitchy Idiots SO MAD Obama Keeps Not Losing Jobs Over And Over And Over And Over And

The Obama administration announced recently that for the all the months in a row, more jobs have been created in America than destroyed. This is good news, wouldn't you say? Then you are not the rage-virus monkeys at Twitchy,...
Can't you see how she's dividing America right here?

Beyoncé Super Bowl Show Features Black People, Wingnuts Super Outraged

Sunday's Pepsi Super Bowl 50 Halftime Show at Levi's Stadium in Facebook, California, was tinged with controversy. In an astonishing move, the NFL chose Coldplay to headline as an obvious diversity hire. Some more sensitive types were unsettled by...
'S okay, he's a nice demon like Anya.

Put On Dry Panties, It’s Time To Liveblog Barack Obama And Joe Biden’s Last State Of The Union

You guys! It is the last State of the Union for our own dearly beloved B. Barry Bamz and his bestest henchman, Old Handsome Joe Biden. (Unless the Democrats and Republicans follow our advice and appoint Joey B. VP...
Stupidest living human? Why not.

Mike Huckabee: Can We Shut Up About Racism And Talk About My Lord And Savior Jesus Christ?

When Mike Huckabee was first asked whether the Confederate flag should fly in South Carolina, he said Americans don't "want  to weigh in on every little issue in all 50 states that might be an important issue to the people...
GRRRR HOMOS GRRRR

Bryan Fischer Will Root All Queers Out Of Wingnut ‘News’ Websites

Bryan Fischer's butthole is in an extra-twitchy state (not the Michelle Malkin kind of twitchy; or wait, come to think of it, yes the Malkin kind), as he is feeling BETRAYED! You see, one of the wingnut websites he likes, Townhall.com,...
Our thoughts exactly

Michelle Malkin Outraged: Twitter Jailing Conservatives Like They Are Japanese-Americans

BREAKING EXCLUSIVE MUST CREDIT TWITCHY! The liberal-biased interwebs are putting conservatives in Twitter jail, maybe (or maybe not) but probably (but probably not), just for being conservatives, OH NOES! Michelle Malkin, conservative keyboard-banging hero and founder of the the site...

Jesus, Internet, What’s The Matter, Did Gwyneth Paltrow Bone Your Dad?

Movie star lifestyle guru Gwyneth Paltrow has taken up the SNAP challenge -- to eat only what she can afford on the $29 a week, on average, that people on food stamps receive. Did you know the Internet is...
NEWS FLASH: You can afford these shoes on $7.25 an hour

Joni Ernst: Let Them Wear Bread Bags

Sen. Joni Ernst did her best in her robotic SOTU response to let us know that she empathizes with folks facing hard times: You see, growing up, I had only one good pair of shoes. So on rainy school days,...
Bluto studied Photoshop at Estes Kefauver Community College

Obama Proposes Free Community College; Will Terrify Wingnuts With Educated Populace

Now here's a nice thing if you're into "education" and "free stuff," which of course you are, because you're an over-educated socialist liberal. President Obama is heading to Tennessee today to announce a program that would provide qualified students...
#BetterThanJeb

Conservatives React To Jeb Bush With Usual Thoughtfulness And Rage-Induced Aneurysms

Jeb Bush’s announcement this morning that he is exploring maybe thinking about the possibility of considering a run for the presidency has set off an awesome fit of rage and whining among the true conservatives of the right, and...
Some people say...

Texas Congresstwit: Study Of Internet Spam Is Secret Obama Plot To Silence Conservatives

It must be difficult to live in a world where dark conspiracies are always seeking to destroy America and crush freedom. And lord knows, Our Government has certainly done some seriously nasty stuff! The thing is -- and we're...

Twitchy Very Sorry For Calling Pelosi ‘Jew-Hating Bitch,’ Meant To Quote Someone Saying It

We here at Yr Wonkette know we are not Very Serious Journalists, nor do we try to be, because (a) we enjoy telling jokes, which you sometimes even enjoy reading, thank you very much, try the veal and tip...

Don’t Blame Breitbart When Al Qaeda Murders The NYPD!

So, everybody was all Happy and Nice Timey about the New York Police Department ditching its "Demographics Unit," a.k.a. Muslim surveillance unit, right? All it did was anger New York and New Jersey's Muslim communities and screw with civil...

Michelle Malkin Sees Through Eric Holder’s Partisan Scheme To Harm Republicans By Arresting Dems

It turns out that Barry Hussein Bamz-Soetoro-Alinsky isn't the only schemer in the administration who plays 11-dimensional hopscotch, planning several steps ahead of reality to work miracles of political gamesmanship that only become obvious after the trap has sprung....

Lindsey Graham Takes This ‘Benghazi’ Thing Just A Bit Too Far For Voice Of Reason Michelle Malkin

Looks like the "Barack Obama's weakness let Ukraine happen" trope has reached its apotheosis with this tweet from Sen. Lindsey Graham, with its inescapable logic: Barack Obama let Benghazi happen, therefore Ukraine. It's just like that time when Reagan...