Michelle Bachmann
Virginia Loses Its Damn Mind, Steals Control of Crazy Train
Don’t look now, kids, but Virginia has turned the corner and gone nuts. Seriously, it has gone It-Puts-The-Lotion-On-Its-Skin crazy. In just the past week, it has come to light that GOP nominees to state office and elected officials want to: force women who have miscarriages to report it to law enforcement officers; compared Planned Parenthood [...]
Watch Breathlessly As Your New 113th Congress Does Nothing: A New Wonkette Feature
Welcome to yr Wonkette’s new regular feature (and by “regular” we mean, of course, when we feel like it and only until we get bored of it or drunk or both) on your 113th Congress – already on track to be the do-nothingest Congress RIGHT OUT THE GATE. Recall, if you will, that the 112th [...]
Michele Bachmann Delegates Hiring Her Campaign Team To God
Hey, you lazy jerks, why haven’t you been pestering God in your daily prayers to hurry up and assemble Michele Bachmann’s campaign staff? Yes, He’s a busy Guy these days, dealing with the fallout over His decision to put Osama bin Laden on holy trial right in the middle of heaven rather than making it [...]
One of Michele Bachmann’s 10,000 Children Refuses To Pose For Playgirl
Playgirl is still alive somehow. And we guess it’s because it does stuff like this: finding Michele Bachmann’s 28-year-old son and asking him to pose nude in their publication, for publicity. He said no, of course. But considering Bachmann has five children and has foster-parented 23 others, something she brags about on the campaign trail, [...]
Bachmann Going To Officially Run For President As Soon As They Make Her
By this point, the Republicans who are going to run for president all have to know they’re doing it, right? It’s not like any of these people have to “talk it over with their family”; nobody’s going to let expendable things like a spouse or children get in the way of their rightful place on [...]
A Live List of Insane Things Michele Bachmann Has Said At CPAC
We just started watching. Keep refreshing this! “If the president wanted to be like Ronald Reagan, he would sign a balanced budget amendment!” “We are the Saudi Arabia of energy!” “A three-legged stool… won’t fall over easily.” (Conservatives are a three-legged stool.) “I believe in this three-legged stool.” “We need to win the Triple Crown [...]
Bachmann Says Republicans Will Do Nothing But Issue Subpoenas If They Become Majority
Oh, here is your modern-day Edmund Burke, revealing what she thinks the GOP’s political philosophy should be when they win a Congressional majority in the midterm elections: “I think that all we should do is issue subpoenas and have one hearing after another. And expose all the nonsense that is gone [sic] on. And it’s [...]
Maybe Franken-Felons Didn’t Destroy Democracy After All (But They Probably Did)
Al Franken is the patron saint-senator of comedians, artists, and Mick Jagger impersonators, but did you also know he’s beloved by America’s felons? A “traditional values”-loving pack of watchdogs called Minnesota Majority says that “hundreds of ineligible felons may have voted [in] the 2008 General Election,” and they all may have/probably/most definitely voted for Franken. [...]
Michelle Bachmann Is a Star, So Let Her Shine
Barack Obama’s been getting hugs and kisses galore for the comedy routine he performed for Scarlett Johansson and other hardscrabble White House “correspondents,” but where is the adoration for Real American stage actress Michelle Bachmann? The other day she gave a masterful performance of her new Off-Broadway show, I’m Not a Betting, Casino-Type Woman, as [...]
Michele Bachmann’s Own Constituents Were So Mean To Her!
Meh, who wants to watch this whole thing? But it’s worth looking at the beginning to see her booed by town hall attendees for making a joke about Tiger Woods loaning the president $300 trillion. “HEALTHCARE, THIS IS A HEALTHCARE FORUM,” they shout, which is just a deeply unserious thing to yell in a public [...]
Michele Bachmann Does Something Stupid & Offensive
CPAC, it is the comedy festival of the year! New GOP leader Michael Steele offered a very honest yet very shitty new marketing strategy to America: “Tonight, we tell America: we know the past, we know we did wrong. My bad.” No we can’t! And then America’s Idiot, Michele Bachmann, responded with a very humorous [...]
House Republicans Just Begging To Be Beaten By Liberal Website
There’s an exciting new trend in these Final Days of the campaign: Some far-right wingnut congressperson goes crazy on the teevee or at one of these Palin Smackdown Trailer-Park Freakouts, and the Daily Kos site declares Financial War on the Republican representative, who of course is up for re-election on November 4 like every member [...]
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